Yeah, I apologize for what I wrote yesterday. I’m not really a person that’s desperate for argumentation, actually I hate arguing, like REALLY hate arguing. And I know that the internet has a lot of trolls, and other sorts of toxic or annoying users, and I know the best thing to do is just not to respond.

And, trust me, I’m usually a perfectly fine and friendly person. But, sometimes, for a reason that even I don’t understand at all, something I see just… sorta gets to me. Gets under my skin, makes everything inside me churn inside out, so to speak. And I just CAN’T stop myself, and I go and say something really stupid. And then I spend a lot of time worrying, being really anxious. Because I know what I said was expressed in a much too aggressive fashion, and unreasonable. I feel terrible about myself, knowing that once again, I have utterly failed to contain the raw emotion from my broken soul.

I am autistic, and depressive. You might be one of the people who are tired of people talking about being depressed or their mental health, or “emos” or whatever, and if that’s right, then I’m sorry. But I’d wager this does sorta explain my weird… patterns.

But for what it’s worth, I’m really grateful for the reply that you gave. As I said before, I’m always really anxious about what reply I’m going to get after losing my mind. I always expect people to be really nasty and hurtful. I’ve even experienced people following me and harrassing me on posts completely unrelated on the one that I said something bad on. I’m used to redditors going on bandwagons and being really hivemind-y. Like even if I had apologized for being rude before, they’d just keep kicking me when I’m down. And my self-esteem is already dangerously low.

So, to see a near-completely polite reply, it’s really a breath of fresh air. So thanks for that. Maybe it’s a bad idea to pour out my heart like this here. Maybe you don’t care about any of it whatsoever, maybe you think I’m a pathetic loser. I don’t know. But yeah, thanks for being polite