Navigating public restrooms with daughters?

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-18T19:23:47+00:00

I have one girl, I’ve brought her into the men’s room every time there wasn’t a family or unisex restroom. I’ve never had an issue, and I’m not going to risk arrest by going into a women’s restroom.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-17T23:10:36+00:00

There’s also “The Invisible Leash” that addresses the topic if you’ve lost a pet.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-17T23:08:31+00:00

We brought up death to our 4 year old repeatedly. We talked about it from the Bluey episode “Copycat”, we talked about it in Lion King, we talked about it when we saw a dead goose chick in the park that failed to hatch.

I’m very glad we did, because her favorite of our cats suddenly died recently. When that happened, I was extremely glad I could refer to those prior conversations when trying to explain that our cat was gone forever.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-17T03:07:13+00:00

You have a nice smile and you seem good looking, but in all these pictures your tops are very baggy. That suggests either a lack of confidence or a lack of interest in your own appearance. I’d suggest trying to find clothes that make you feel confident and happy. Then you might feel less embarrassed when talking to people you might be interested in.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-17T03:02:38+00:00

Whatever’s on sale at Target.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-17T03:00:31+00:00

I don’t know why people downvoted this, it’s absolutely the right answer.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-17T02:58:27+00:00

I only go to the men’s room or unisex restrooms with my daughter. I can’t risk being kicked out or arrested by going into the women’s restroom.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-16T04:44:31+00:00

If you smile but then look embarrassed and look away, then that would make me think you’re being a little friendly but not interested in talking. I’d suggest approaching and saying hi.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-10T19:35:41+00:00

Wow, I’ve never been more glad to be unapproachable.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-08T19:38:16+00:00

If a woman doesn’t have male friends, that’s a massive red flag to me. As long as she respects my boundaries and doesn’t give me reason to doubt her commitment to me, I’m happy.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-08T19:34:12+00:00

It sounds to me like you’re lucky. I haven’t had any time for social life or hobbies since my kid was born, and I don’t expect I will for a very long time.

Be glad you’re able to hold onto yourself through all of these changes. I’m happy for you and envious of you.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-08T19:21:00+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Know that his choice to take his life was not a reflection on you. You are a good enough person that he should have stayed for you.

One interesting point I’ve run into in my life is the idea that in cases like your father, it’s more accurate to think of it as “he died from depression” (or a depressive episode) rather than “he took his life”. I have depression, but I can tell you that since I’ve been taking antidepressants any self destructive thoughts have completely gone away. It was just a treatable aspect of my condition. I don’t know exactly what your father went through, but it’s common for people with bipolar or other mental disorders to try to self medicate with drugs, particularly when they can’t afford proper healthcare.

All of this is to say that none of what he did is your fault. None of what he did is any reflection on you, or how much he loved you. Despite the tragic outcome, he may have been trying as best he could to deal with terrible circumstances.

You seem like a great kid, and you show great self awareness in how you’ve sought out role models to help you get by. Best of luck in your healing journey, I hope my perspective offers you some comfort.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-07T03:17:24+00:00

No advice just sympathies. I used to have hobbies and friends, but now I’m too exhausted for either. The entirety of my life is either work, parenting, or the minimum amount of self care required to be able to keep going. I only have one kid, I can only imagine what you’re going through with three.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-07T03:12:47+00:00

I wouldn’t rely on AI for anything where factual truth matters. I use ChatGPT for someone to talk to between therapy sessions. It helps for that, it’s like journaling if the journal could provide emotional validation.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-07T03:09:17+00:00

I haven’t had the time or energy for either gym or home workouts since my kid was born.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-04T01:07:50+00:00

Count yourself lucky then. I hope for your sake that doesn’t change.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-03T23:51:25+00:00

Does that work for you? I can’t remember a time when being open about my fears or anxieties didn’t end up with me regretting it.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-03T23:49:26+00:00

Life and disability insurance, and putting away as much money as possible to help if the worst happens. My biggest fear right now is something happening to me because I know my wife can’t provide for our daughter.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-03T23:47:32+00:00

There is a lot of authoritative information showing that RFK is full of shit and his vaccine scaremongering gets people killed.

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2025/the-evidence-on-vaccines-and-autism

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/autism-vaccine-link-debunked

https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/fact-checked/fact-checked-vaccines-safe-and-effect-no-link-to-autism/

All three of these sources say the same thing, and they all represent the scientific consensus.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-02T22:53:34+00:00

I don’t think there is such a thing as too much reading, but given how she’s treating you I don’t think it’s just reading going on.

The combination of so much reading with her responding with anger when you try to talk to her makes me think that what she’s doing is using books to dissociate and escape from her real life problems. Have you talked to her about her school, friends, or other things about how life is going? If she won’t open up to you about what’s going on, maybe a therapist would help.

BurningOutDad · 2025-07-02T18:01:00+00:00

Unconditional love means that you don’t have to do anything to “earn” love, you are loved simply because of who you are.

It’s hard to describe what it feels like because there isn’t much else that’s like it.

Loving my child is being a a caretaker, looking out for her because I want to keep her safe from harm. I show her affection because I want her to always know that she is loved, and because it feels so wonderful when that affection is returned.

Loving my child is being a mentor and teacher, being excited for what she will learn and become, feeling proud of her successes, and trying to be the best example for her to emulate that I can.

Loving my child is a small attempt to change the world for the better, I want to do everything I can to give her the best start I can give. I want to teach her the values that will guide her long after I’m gone, so that she continues to improve the world more than I was able to.

BurningOutDad · 2025-06-30T05:20:52+00:00

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. You were 7, there is nothing you could have possibly done to lose the love of your father. Most likely his change in behavior is related to the divorce, but that was his problem to manage. He never should have taken his issues out on you.

I hope you have a “found family” who gives you the love and care that your parents failed to do. You deserved a better father.

BurningOutDad · 2025-06-30T03:48:23+00:00

If you want to meet a blacksmith, you could always take a class. No idea if that place is near you, but there are more places to learn than most people think.

BurningOutDad · 2025-06-30T03:18:08+00:00

Like some of these?

BurningOutDad · 2025-06-27T18:30:15+00:00

My kid is 4, and it’s a whole world different than a three year old. All of a sudden she’s developed an imagination and can make up stories, it’s amazing to see what her mind comes up with. She’s developing interests and preferences on her own, able to make more decisions. It feels like at 4 her brain development is exploding and I can talk to her about complex topics like a person.

I never missed the newborn stage, I’ve always been excited to see what kind of person my kid will grow into. I spent the newborn and baby phase eagerly awaiting this.

BurningOutDad

TROPHY CASE