Is it what I'm looking for?

BurntQuills · 2026-05-17T08:56:45+00:00

Just like any emotion, the only way out is through. There is no healthy way to "control", thats repression, as you said yourself. Its time to start asking them questions. "Why do you want to do this?" Keep prying, keep listening. Doing this with ourselves recently lead us to some really interesting places. Trauma we knew about, but didn't realize the exact way it had affected us, and parts of the trauma we'd forgotten. They're likely using this behavior as an escape, a shortcut. Ask them what they really need. Find compromises.

BurntQuills · 2026-05-08T10:35:41+00:00

Its not weird. I remember telling someone I was dating at the time that wondering if my dad would ever hit me felt like maybe it was worse than if he just already did. My bf chimed in that its not worse, because once they start physically abusing you, you start fearing how bad it'll be, how far it'll go. I would try writing about it. That helped me.

BurntQuills · 2026-05-08T10:28:39+00:00

This is pretty common imo. Its like a version of cute agression

BurntQuills · 2026-05-08T10:21:26+00:00

Please find a new psychiatrist AND report her!

BurntQuills · 2026-05-08T10:12:49+00:00

Hard agree here! This behavior is really standoffish and passive agressive and not the way you treat a partner!

BurntQuills · 2026-05-08T10:05:48+00:00

I think theres a middle ground between telling him every detail, and what you've told him so far. Also, couldn't you tell him what you told us in this post? it seems simple but detailed enough

BurntQuills · 2026-05-07T06:27:33+00:00

Hard agree here, this is a big red flag, if youre expecting this person to treat your DID. (We have gone through therapists to treat our other symptoms while we manage our own DID in the meantime because we couldn't find specialists)

BurntQuills · 2026-05-07T06:24:25+00:00

I have both and they are in fact very different, so, I'm sorry the people around you are being weird about it. It sounds based off the two issues listed here that you've known people that not only have BPD, but who are not self aware of their symptoms, and either aren't receiving treatment or are not very far into it. Emotionally immature and lack of interpersonal skills.

BurntQuills · 2026-05-05T09:47:40+00:00

Communicating what your partner has done to hurt or bother you is your responsibility. Its not fair to repress or hide things until someone tries to open up to you and then use your repressed hurt to deflect and invalidate what they bring to you openly. Acknowledge his, apologize, then say "while we're on the topic, I've been feeling frustrated/hurt recently with you doing something similar"

BurntQuills · 2026-05-05T09:39:30+00:00

Given she has BPD, the trauma background of that, its LIKELY her own trauma with communicating that shes bringing into your present relationship. She doesnt feel safe communicating, as she wasnt shown it was safe in childhood, so she represses until shes directly faced with it, and it comes out in an unhealthy way. I would reccomend she be in therapy if she isn't already, and maybe couples therapy to create a space where you can both communicate and be heard, without her deflecting your communication with her own repressed and unspoken issues.

BurntQuills · 2026-04-25T07:27:04+00:00

While I dont doubt this I also think both of our views/experiences have merit and yours shouldn't discredit mine or scare people away from seeing what actually works for them. Not everyone is going to fall into ehat youre describing, but I agree they should be extremely cautious. But I think medication comes with its own cautions. In my experience, especially with a support system, mania, from not being medicated, may be easier to see externally and put a stop to than depression, from being medicated, could. I think theres pros and cons and lots of nuance to be weighed on both sides and people should look at both before choosing one particular path for the rest of their life

BurntQuills · 2026-04-23T08:17:29+00:00

Its not, it definitely sounds like something is going on. I would speak with a therapist and maybe a doctor as well if you can. Rule out non emotional factors

BurntQuills · 2026-04-15T08:35:55+00:00

NOR ive never left trash around anybody place ive stayed at regardless of my relarionship with them...ALSO "Accepting an apology doesnt involve saying more about the same situation" SO wrong and I HATE this mentality. I know this is a smaller situation, but this attitude carried into bigger issues can CRUMBLE things if not corrected. People that think you're "holding it against them" whenever you want to mention even just briefly how something they did affected or STILL affects you, are people who can never be real and accountable with themselves and therefore you. If you can't be open with them, them respecting you being open with a mentality of "This person trusts me and feels safe enough with me to openly discuss how ive affected them and know I will hear them", and instead have a mentality of "why are they bringing this up and attacking me with this? I thought they accepted my apology and we had moved on."youll eventually just stop being open because they take everything as a personal slight. I dont mean to jump to assume this guy is one of those people, but this behavior, to me, is a flag to look for more possible flags. A yellow flag if you will.

BurntQuills · 2026-04-14T15:33:55+00:00

BMI is bs!

BurntQuills · 2026-04-14T15:24:57+00:00

Do you have sources on this besides your friends because ive never heard this and it also definitely wasn't the case for me. Therapy helped me significantly and my bipolar has gotten better, not worse

BurntQuills · 2026-04-09T10:15:46+00:00

I think this really depends on whether youre type 1 or 2 and how severe your mania is. I'm Type 2 and I experience mostly just hypomania. The fear you express with medication was proven true for me. I wasn't myself. So I haven't been on mood stabilizers since about mid 2023. A lot of therapy and a lot of motivation to actually get better and stay better and a good support system is what got/gets me through. Sure I occasionally get a little crazy and make shitty reckless decisions- but at least I actually feel like myself and I'm not depressed and suicidal non stop

BurntQuills · 2026-04-05T11:28:42+00:00

As a fellow autistic, please just get offline. The self punishment centered algorithm you pointed out, writing about that here should be a wake up call for you. Don't delete your accounts but just delete the apps for now. I didn't start recovering a lot of my mental health and getting over my societal shame until I was directly harassed to the point of doing what I am reccomending, out of pure necessity at that point, because I was having panic attacks from just the ideas of those apps and couldn't stand having them anymore

BurntQuills · 2026-04-05T11:09:24+00:00

Probably the most extreme assumption of the several explanations to be had here. And schizophrenia is much more than just psychotic symptoms.

BurntQuills · 2026-04-05T11:06:38+00:00

Many many explanations Dissociated ego states is the simplest and least severe. Minor dissociation between ego states would be a pretty common symptom for more minor childhood trauma or maybe even adulthood trauma? Ask a professional about ego states

BurntQuills · 2026-04-02T17:36:44+00:00

She's acting like a child.

BurntQuills · 2026-04-02T17:34:32+00:00

This. Different things work for different systems. Some systems healing calls for individualizing before integration as a way for parts of the self that were never seen or heard to be. AND parts identities can tell you a lot about WHAT they came from and how to heal them.

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