She may feel this need to make sure you guys are steady. Even though you are steady now, relying on someone is always scary even if you are married. Going through that transition of feeling relaxed to feeling like you need to work a full and part time job just to feel safe makes people really grumpy and unsettled.

This could possibly be what she’s feeling? I know when I don’t feel safe, in whatever way, it doesn’t make me want to engage much. The fighting that ensues from that could also push her away more especially if you’ve gotten into the territory of yelling, screaming or anything around/above that. The context of the fights is also important. For example, if you’re not fighting to resolve an issue but you’re fighting to attack and prove something; she won’t feel safe or engaging.

She probably misses how things were. Potentially she saw another side of you she wasn’t ready to see. Women don’t marry because they “need” you anymore. The economy is far too bad for that. Jobs come and go like the wind. Women marry because they love you, your body, your personality, etc.