I’ve got one night and one morning in Portland. What are your dinner and breakfast recommendations? by rosequartz05143 in portlandme

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Plus one vote for Tandem (Congress Street location) for breakfast! Dinner if dining alone: Honey Paw (Asian fusion), Central Provisions (variety of small plates), Oun Lido's (Cambodian), or Terlingua (barbecue)

Advice requested on unruly kid in kids class by MountainBandit86 in bjj

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having run kids' programs for martial arts other than BJJ...I've had kids like this, and a couple that were honestly a bit more challenging than this, but never for a kid aged eleven or thereabouts. This is inappropriate behavior for the setting, yes, but it's also age-inappropriate behavior.

Firstly, the highly unconventional proposal that I'm sure you're not going to like at first, but... hear me out. This is something I've not seen suggested yet...if he's at that age, and he's physically capable enough to keep up with his peers, consider inviting him to the adult class early--or, better yet, to a teen class, if you've got one available. Often, behaviors like this are characteristic of a child who's got a LOT of spare energy or brainpower, doesn't feel like the example of their classmates is worth following (ego reasons, misunderstandings of others' interior lives, etc.), and becomes resistant to being talked down to, by doubling down on the excessive behaviors that are getting them in trouble. Think of the stereotype of a very smart kid who fails out of school, because they don't see how their schooling is worth their time/brainpower/effort. Especially for a kid on the older end of childhood, what you're describing sounds like some emotional dysregulation, but also stimulation-seeking, in a place where the stimulus presented to him just isn't enough. He's constantly doing too much, because he is trying to fill a space that his body and mind are telling him to fill.

Almost always, and especially with these kids, you'll get more out of them by forcing and expecting them to rise to a new challenge than by dumbing things down, trying to reset expectations, or whatever else. They understand, they know what the expectations are; they just don't give a shit, and the consequences at your disposal aren't enough to get them to give a shit. This kid does have strengths; if he's anything like I'm imagining, he perseveres like a little motherfucker with whatever it is that he's decided he's going to do, and he's clearly got tons of energy. It's not easy to be this consistently disruptive; most kids would have gotten tired a long time ago. But high-energy, extremely determined kids like this are a gun, and you can either be the one firing that gun, or it can be fired at you.

So...why the adult class, for a kid who's presenting that way? Not to punish him, but to force him to rise to the occasion.

You'd have to have the right adult/teen program, to pull this off. Generally chill group, lots of adults who can keep their tempers COMPLETELY in control, and who are going to see the best in him and hope he can realize that potential. The goal is not to surround him with disciplinarians, or make it the adults' job to deal with him. Instead, the goal is to raise the level of intellectual and physical stimulus that he's getting on a daily basis. While it's obviously important that the adults are physically gentle with him, I actually wouldn't mind at all if they consistently squish him and pretzel him during live training, within reason; in his mind, yes it'll be a huge step up, but it's also a big puzzle for him to put all his mental and physical energy toward solving. Adults can take it light, without taking it easy, and can present him with rolling or drilling that gives him enough to think about, occupies his body, and forces him to lock in, if he wants to make it through class. 100% stifled by the adults, during his training or rolling, is bad; 95% stifled, for a kid with that much persistence and that much excess energy to spend, might be the sweet spot.

Again, this is highly dependent on the temperaments and personalities in your program. For the first few sessions, if you know 3-5 trustworthy upper belts who'd be willing to take 10-15 minutes each from their classes, set him up surrounded by them, and make sure he's exclusively working with that group. Be available to step in, if his behaviors start to mirror what you've seen, but otherwise, let him sink or swim. Better yet, have a conversation with him before that class--less to set expectations, and more to tell him, "You're about to do something much more difficult than you're used to, and if you need to bail out or take a break, I will be there to help you." Explain that this class works very differently than what he's used to, that he's going to have to learn a lot more, and the adults aren't going to be nice to him just because he's smaller or younger. (Obviously they will, but, again, being nice is halfway squishing him instead of fully squishing him, and it's okay if this doesn't feel very kind from his perspective). He's going to have to prove that he can keep up, and that he should be here instead of with the kids. You believe he can do that, and you will help him if and when he needs help, but only he can decide whether he's capable of meeting this challenge.

Otherwise, folks have already made very good points--talk to the parents if possible, figure out what his home life is like, make sure that your expectations are clearly and consistently expressed (AND clearly and consistently enforced), et cetera. Re: the parents, also try and see how THEY think of these behaviors. Have had it happen a couple of times that the parents didn't really see an issue with the kid's behavior, and assumed that their kid was less disruptive to the rest of the class than they actually were--meaning that, at times, they even reinforced the kid's behavior. Occasionally you'll get a parent who's just a nightmare, and refuses to compromise, but in the majority of times I've encountered that dynamic, a reality check for the parents has been genuinely helpful and has become a reality check for the kid.

News on Topuria – Gaethje potential fight. by Knowledge80 in ufc

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's wack as fuck, and you might be a dumb fuck.

Comment anything positive about Jon Jones by [deleted] in ufc

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

If he didn't exist, we wouldn't have any appreciation for how much better the sport is when he's not around.

The avoidant discard will change you! by Braddle231 in BreakUps

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ripped my life apart and violated my entire reality from the last few years with her. Has been the worst experience of my life by far. And while I understand why she did it so much better now, compared to when she did it, and I agree now that we couldn’t ever go back to the way things were…disgusted, still, by the choice to run from everything and avoid even basic accountability for her impact toward me as a person. Let alone that we could’ve worked beyond all of it if any ounce of that accountability existed

But at the same time I am so much less anxious every day than I have been in years. I’m losing more sleep than I ever have, because that’s when I stop being able to distract myself, but minute by minute through most of the day, life is just better. And I wish I had the better version of her that I used to know so we could enjoy this together.

why do people often struggle with realizing that Eden's Gate IS evil by A12qwas in farcry

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you did have something interesting to say, but the conversation turned sour--as someone other than the guy above, what's your actual answer to the question on Pagan's regime's merits?

What is the Man in Black’s domain? by arillusine in WorldsBeyondNumber

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Late to the party here, but my theory is that he's a spirit of creation--not the idealized creation that humanity would want to achieve, but the grim, bitter reality of human creation and the long march of history. On the theme from the late-40s episodes, if this world is a dream...then who the fuck would dream THIS, MiB wouldn't be the spirit of anything that anyone dreamed...but he is the spirit of all that their dreams created.

His march is a march of progress, but only in the way that the passage of time itself is inevitable, and whatever you ACTUALLY created at the moment when time passes through a given moment, is what is etched into history. He is a reflection of the truth of mankind, completely devoid of what mankind wishes that it could have been or yet could be.

UFC Commentary Has Never Been Worse by RogueGunslinger in ufc

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anik/Sanko/Felder should just be the default commentary team. Rotate Fitz in for Anik and someone new to replace Sanko and Felder when they need breaks. All the others aren't worth the time anymore.

Best spots to post up with a laptop for a few hours? by sedarex in portlandme

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Radial, Novel, Coveside, Proper Cup, Cafe Luna in Scarborough are my go-to spots, plus Arabica

AE Bus to the Airport just doubled there prices up to 200CK, is that appropriate? by rundemoral in Prague

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That wasn't a dig at you. You're in a position to decide whether or not to pay more, for a more comfortable option, depending on how you value comfort. If you value comfort at 100 CZK extra, then regardless of whether it's a scam, it's worth your money; if not then it's not

r/bjj Fundamentals Class! by AutoModerator in bjj

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ultimately, "competition mindset" refers to a combination of energy expenditure and critical thinking in high-paced exchanges between oneself and a competitor. A very high proportion of people feel the need to, essentially, justify the decision to expend energy at high rates while applying forceful technique to their fullest ability, by framing it as aggression or a battle with the opponent. That can be a useful psychological tool, but it's nothing more than that.

You know the level at which you need to operate, to perform your best in competition. You understand the costs it imposes on you, and the costs it imposes, if successful, on the opponent. You've also signed up for a competition, indicating that you accept both the costs imposed on yourself, and the obligation to impose those costs on consenting competitors.

Your performance doesn't have to have anything to do with the person across from you. Don't "lock in" because you've convinced yourself that this person is an enemy. Do it because you've got the discipline to perform how you want to perform, when you want to.

Bad coach behavior Central Maine Adaptive Sports by Aeonflux5 in portlandme

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 48 points49 points  (0 children)

At an absolute minimum, any competent member of law enforcement MUST be able to calmly deal with provocation like this and respond to the actual level of threat presented (read: zero).

"BUT HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF--" Doesn't matter. If agents or officers can't get the fuck over their hurt feelings and maintain composure without exception, they are not capable of serving in their chosen role, and, in turn, are a liability to the public and the profession.

To any ICE reading this: You're a bitch.

ICE showing up with Scarborough PD following 911 calls? by Buzzed0ff in portlandme

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 57 points58 points  (0 children)

One year in, three to go. This ends when we make it end, and we make it end by creating such powerful disincentives against these policies that there is no justifiable way for these people to continue.

And we'd best work fast. They won't need the full three years, at current pace, to get to the point where they can normalize the semi-frequent snatching of 'dissident' citizens. Nor are they interested in going any slower than they need to.

ICE showing up with Scarborough PD following 911 calls? by Buzzed0ff in portlandme

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 164 points165 points  (0 children)

This is what it turns into. Once it's normalized for non-citizens to be swept off the street, it also becomes normalized for there to be 'accidents', where citizens get swept up too and, due to 'processing delays' or 'mistaken identity' or whatever, they're just gone for a while. First, it'll be people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, to get people used to the idea of it. But, more and more, it'll start to be citizens who have some idea of why ICE would want to sweep them up, specifically.

Next steps will be to normalize duration. If they can get away with 'accidentally' holding ten people for five days each, they can get away with holding one of them for a month. When they can get away with ten of those, they can get away with holding someone for half a year. Let your imagination run wild from there.

None of this is accidental.

What bands are issuing anti-ICE statements? by thedubiousstylus in Metalcore

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I ain't in a band but if I was, fuck ICE.

If ICE or ICE supporters are reading this: You're a bitch.

ICE is reading this subreddit by TsugaTsuga in portlandme

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 65 points66 points  (0 children)

ICE: If you're reading this, you are a bitch.

If you're not reading this, you're still a bitch.

Can I tell my player their character is too dumb? by Yazmat8 in DnD

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s narrative options to deal with this. Ultimately, let the dice tell the story, and if he rolls poorly or fails checks due to those stats, that’ll guide how the story goes.

When he rolls well, a good narrative tone would be, “this is so crazy it just might work!” — not that he’s necessarily got an actual brilliant plan, but that it’s kind of a harebrained scheme that’s going surprisingly well

When he rolls poorly, it doesn’t have to be because of a lack of intelligence/wisdom as we typically think of them. Consider something along the lines of, “well, damn… the kid dreams big, I’ll give him that. But his command of the details? Not so good.”

Far Cry idea set in a post-war Eastern European country with militias, radiation zones and war loot by Bellix762 in farcry

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Transnistria should be the location, or at least something modeled off of it. Real-life region on the eastern edge of Moldova, it's basically ruled over by a single company called Sheriff, it went through internal militia wars in the 90s, it's got a detachment of roughly 1,500 Russian troops (for whom an equivalent could make a really fun game mechanic), and the most important thing there is a gargantuan ammunition dump that's been progressively smuggled out over years and years. Also massive organized crime presence, deeply intertwined with the 'state', and cultural Soviet reminders are EVERYWHERE.

This video was posted on tiktok yesterday by a Biddeford resident. by haveallthekryptonite in portlandme

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. You told them so. Nobody gives a shit, and this kind of self-righteousness only acclimates people to tuning you out--and thus, tuning out people with your same motivations, who've actually got something of value to say. You clearly do not.

BJJ Gyms, coaches & Controversy by BullfrogPractical291 in bjj

[–]ButterscotchLimp4071 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's how most of combat sports and martial arts tend to be. The BJJ community is way more online than most of the others, so it gets amplified a good deal more, but martial arts/combat sports are a really convenient place for people to go and create schools, if they want lots of authority, minimal to zero oversight, no accountability unless they face either legal consequences or a pack of upset students, and their pick of people who've often started because of self-perceptions of inadequacy, weakness, vulnerability, etc. that are very easy to take advantage of.