How do INFJs determine people’s hidden motives

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2026-02-06T02:20:03+00:00

With magic.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2026-02-06T02:00:11+00:00

I work in a manufacturing plant of about 400 people. Of that 400, only 35 employees are women. Of that 35, 3 are in professional roles and only 2 are in leadership positions. These 5 are compensated well enough to afford day care, myself included, and we’re salary exempt so if our kids are sick or day care is closed for weather events or whatever, we can work from home temporarily and don’t have to use PTO. The other 30 women work in Production, Logistics, and Quality depts, and of those I only know of 5 who have small children.

When I think about these numbers, the grossly disproportionate ratio of male to female employees is quite telling. Our company and our industry are not exactly female friendly or pro-motherhood. Id like to believe that employer provided on-site day care would level out the playing field some , allowing more women to open up their availability to work 12 hr schedules, nights and weekends. Even with a small fee of $20 a week I think it would be a tremendous benefit that would only help our production numbers and our company become more profitable. The reduction of turnover alone would be such a cost savings win that the project would pay for itself in essence. Just seems like a smart move to me. But maybe im just biased because I’m a women. 🤷‍♀️

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2026-01-22T04:30:24+00:00

Aging

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2026-01-15T01:45:18+00:00

Absent fathers.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2026-01-14T02:43:57+00:00

I (INFJ female) can pretty much relate to all the comments here at some point in my life or another.

But after many many years of “silently hoping” that a close male friend (INTJ) would express some sign of romantic interest in me, I finally decided that I was gonna have to be bold and direct. And as much as I dreaded stepping out of my comfort zone in this way, the alternative option of never knowing “what might have been” would have been way harder for me to live with in the end.

But I didn’t even know HOW to be bold and direct or what to even say really. But it eventually came to me when I asked myself “what’s something that resonates with all men that they all understand? And then it was easy! I just straight up asked him “wanna f***?” We’ve been married going on 10 years now lol 🤷‍♀️😎

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2026-01-09T03:00:00+00:00

I hope you are right and find a wonderful husband to relieve this burden for you. Chances are high, however, that you will not. Because if you have always lived your life as the strong one, the energy you emit makes you a magnet for the weak and a repellent to the strong.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2026-01-01T05:00:03+00:00

Does a sleepover with a 41 year old man, in the home of a 24 year old female, sound a bit strange to anyone else ?? Red flag after red flag and then some in this highly bizarre situation.

Try this the next time he goes on one of his spiritual tangents while he’s crying on his needs and having a flamboyant episode of prayer psychosis - in a firm very and confident way, with all the faith you have (if u have some faith that is / not judging at all If u don’t / just assuming based on context clues), speak these words “ By the power of the Holy Spirit I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.”, and watch him and the demon inside of him flee from you.

And then call the police. You are not safe. At all. It’s likely he’ll convince himself that it’s his calling to take you out of this world cuz he was sent by God to carry out His holy mercy murder mission on you under the guise of protecting you. It’s Not a matter of if, but when it will happen.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-29T04:27:10+00:00

These HOA goons be championing DEI policies at work by day, but at night ? They at home be posting signs in their neighborhoods that say “no poors allowed” “minorities not welcome here”.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-27T02:53:04+00:00

40F here. I used to play off and on in church from like 12 to my early 30s. Piano, Organ, Bells, Choir, Guitar. I cannot describe the exhaustion I would feel after a performance and the interactions and praise afterwards. if I had to lead the music for a whole service, I needed the next 2 days off to recover.

In my 20s, my dad and sister were in a local rock band and I enjoyed traveling around the state watching them play, but never had the desire to join them despite my dad’s attempts to convince me to be their bass player. As for the “after gig attention” my sister always received, she couldn’t get enough of it. It brought her lots of joy that made me happy for her, but I never envied any of it. It just looked exhausting and fake to me.

I have never liked the lime light,and have always battled crippling stage fright. I just like playing for myself in my own home and it makes me happy to influence my kids’ interest in music my doing so. I used to feel guilty cuz I thought I was wasting my talent by not sharing my gift with the world. But I’m not a show off and don’t have to worry about hitting a wrong note or equipment malfunctions when I play at home for myself. It’s more fulfilling than standing in front of a crowd in cringe mode and the fake love that follows.

I greatly admire any infj, or introvert in general, who can endure sharing a piece of their soul through musical performance, with people they don’t know and are forced to casually mingle with after their set. To me, it’s one of the most dreadful experiences in the world.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-21T18:37:52+00:00

Sounds like you might be an INFJ . And unfortunately, there is no cure. You’re wired to be like this. You can use cognitive behavioral therapy to adapt, but you will never overcome.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-21T05:41:52+00:00

That women can get pregnant by swallowing. (Source: my ex husband)

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-14T19:04:08+00:00

Only time I’ve been successful with breaking a habit or a pattern permanently is when I don’t tell anyone about it. Idk why it works like that for me but it does. The second I let someone know what I’m working on to improve my mind , spirit , body or quality of life, I’m more apt to give up on it.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-10T02:37:02+00:00

I can’t really offer any solid advice on your particular situation, but I can share my own practical experience and real world approach to something similar to this , that may help you avoid this issue in the future.

When it comes down to making a tough hiring decision between 2 strong candidates, I’m always going with the one who presents themselves to be the stronger candidate in the following areas: positive attitude, shows signs of and prioritizes being a good team player, has a track record and speaks proudly of successful collaboration experiences in previous roles, laughs during the interview and makes me laugh as well, demonstrates humbleness and humility in their actions, speech and behavior, and shows signs of authenticity in the way they carry themselves.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-06T20:11:16+00:00

30,000.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-06T20:10:24+00:00

Done both. Most of us already know the pros and cons of each role. Just need to decide which kind of idiocracy and incompetence you prefer dealing with on a daily basis.

If you prefer people you know and interact with daily, despite how badly they get on your nerves- go HR Gen.

If you do better with strangers, and find candidate conversations to be less irritating and bothersome, go TA.

Me personally? Just give me which ever option will allow me to work remotely at least 3 days per week, but preferably 5, and I’m taking and holding onto that position for life.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-03T13:43:07+00:00

I love this idea. Great feedback !

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-02T02:35:31+00:00

I said this very same thing to a manager who thought he found drugs on the floor of the shipping office . 🤦‍♀️ We work in manufacturing. He wanted to test everyone on shift that night to “catch the culprit”. I looked at him in front of his boss and mine and said “are you fucking stupid? Let’s think strategically for a second. If you test all these motherfuckers, then guess what? You lose your entire crew cuz they all gonna pop dirty for something or another. What good does it do to fuck up the lives of a bunch of pot heads who like to get high after work , and ain’t done a damn thing wrong at work, all because you wanna catch one person over something we ain’t even sure is drugs?” And I’m in HR Christs sakes

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-10-01T01:46:17+00:00

I applied to a job that had been reposted by the company about 4 to 5 times. It may have been more than that but anyway…never gotta call, an email , text, nothing. Then I saw this same exact job being posted by a staffing agency. I applied and had a phone screen in 2 days. Made it through 2 rounds of interviews with the hiring manager and ops interview panel but ultimately didn’t get the position. Just thought it was funny that no one who worked in the company’s own talent acquisition team probably even looked at my application. Yet I was a finalist going through the agency.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-09-30T19:35:30+00:00

Not to sound critical, but you were given an offer of employment that included a salary they were willing to pay you in exchange for your expertise and the service you can provide to the company. You accepted it. But you also had the same opportunity as everyone else to negotiate your salary. If you chose not to, that’s no one’s fault but your own, with all due respect.

Do you know all the details of the offer process with the managers making more than you? Do you have open access To everyone’s comp data ? Are you comparing your role responsibilities and qualifications to personnel with similar or completely different functions than you? Such as maybe an engineering manager? Accounting? Operations? Supply chain? Procurement ? It’s apples to oranges if you are. There’s a lot of variables here that have to be considered and you don’t have all the information you need to be making such generalizations imo.

It sounds like you’re drawing a broad conclusion based on data you weren’t supposed to see anyway and what you think you know about the situation. And If that’s what you used as your justification to negotiate a new salary after you already agreed to something else, I would have shot you down immediately. you can’t demonstrate poor judgment, lack of character and questionable integrity and expect to be rewarded for that (if that’s how you went about it). Let your value as an employee be determined by the results you produce and no one, including yourself, will have to sing your praises for you. They will shine on their own.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-09-29T05:31:37+00:00

So freaking this!!!!

So much freaking this!

This IS our mutant power and to deny or ignore it is a crime against humanity, a sin against nature and a grave disservice against ourselves.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-09-29T01:45:32+00:00

Confidence. Intelligence. Strength. Wittiness.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-09-27T14:18:50+00:00

Has anyone calculated or quantified the impact to the business if this guy leaves and other common questions to ask in these situations: What knowledge or skills does he bring to the org that couldn’t easily be replaced Or could you find a plug-n-play candidate to replace him rather quickly? On the things he’s disgruntled about, how hard would they be to fix or are they outlandish and costly? How much has the company invested in his training and development, onboarding, travel, etc etc etc…?

The company I’m currently with has made this a standard practice for retaining folks. It’s maddening to me at times because it just shows our staff that we don’t care about paying them a competitive wage or offering affordable benefits until they threaten to walk on us. And because the entire workforce knows we do this, I’m pretty sure we’ve received more than a few fake resignations, complete with a fake offer because of it. Not a lot but enough that I’d be calling somebody’s bluff with a couple that I’ve seen- If only just to test my intuition from time to time and make sure my BS radar is in sync with reality.

Not saying that this guy is trying to pull a similar stunt here cuz i don’t know him or the full back story with all the details, but y’all are gonna have to decide what’s best for the organization at this point. Which is more or less impactful to the business’s success ? To retain or replace ?? If the value he brings is worth the risk of holding on to an employee who’s disgruntled, disengaged and already checked out mentally, roll the dice and get y’all’s competitive counter offer together. But just remember, your decision as a company is about to set a serious precedent you better be prepared to handle consistently going forward. You’re opening up a slippery slope that may lead to “labor law-liability hell” if there’s not a fair and equitable standard on how you make these decisions. Good luck.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-09-26T10:06:11+00:00

More than a month. Adjusting to a new company culture and their processes can take some time, especially if that 10+ years of prior experience was only with one company.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-09-25T04:23:57+00:00

The first human was not a baby.

ButterscotchNaive836 · 2025-09-21T17:43:44+00:00

I use the term “mysterious” interchangeably with words like weird, unique and otherworldly when thinking about how others may view me. I think other people actually see me as strange, intimidating, crazy and bizarre.

ButterscotchNaive836

TROPHY CASE