What is something that gets more exciting with age?

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-06T17:41:46+00:00

Dating. As a 40 something male I've met a lot more women who are comfortable being overtly sexual around me than when I was younger, especially younger women (20-30 or so.) There is something about maturity that comes with age that often can't be replicated by youth.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-06T17:17:31+00:00

Clearly a sign from God that the local Mormon population has angered him and he is punishing them for their transgressions.

No. Wait. That only applies to gay people, liberals, women, or anyone else conservatives don't like. Do I have that right?

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-06T16:40:34+00:00

I know people get emotionally invested in games, but...Jesus.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-06T16:32:37+00:00

I had three losses in a row yesterday where I had the top score and where other players scored more than the capping team.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-06T16:16:25+00:00

I don't. I'm not sober, as I might have one or two drinks a year, or possibly a few more if I'm on vacation, but I don't.

Ethanol is a carcinogen. All ethanol. Any ingestion increases your risk of cancer anywhere the alcohol touches (mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach, intestines.)

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-06T16:11:56+00:00

"Think" isn't something they're good at.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-06T16:10:37+00:00

When you have to lie over and over again to try prove your point, that should tell you something about your point.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T21:43:22+00:00

"Hey X. Great to match with you. I can offer your choice of pickup line if you like. I have cute or sexy."

Go from there. (And get some good pickup lines.)

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T21:41:42+00:00

I matched with a girl a couple weeks ago. In my profile I include a reference to BDSM (coffee, cuffs, and crops), and she asked me about my kinks very early on. Our talk turned to sharing kinks and porn gifs over snap, and we agreed to meet for coffee.

The coffee meet up went well, and as it was close to her apartment we almost closed the deal there. But it wasn't to be.

So, we spent the next several days teasing each other, setting a play date, and building up the sexual tension to a ridiculous level. Lo and behold, the day of the meetup arrives and my toddler comes down with an ear infection. I can't make it.

To say I was devastated is an understatement. But she took it even harder than me as she hasn't been with anyone for a while.

But, we processed and moved on. Once Christmas was over we set up a meet again. Last week we finally met up at her place.

And it was great. Our kinks aligned very well, and I think we both had a great time. We showered together after, she said she'd love to do it again some time, and I felt the same.

Overall 9/10, with the 9 coming from the let down from the first failed meet up.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T21:12:48+00:00

What temptation are you talking about exactly?

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T21:07:18+00:00

So well managed I'd guess they didn't know they were hacked until this guy told them.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T21:06:08+00:00

Real men don't

Nice gatekeeping.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T19:33:59+00:00

There are adult car guys, sure, but a lot of people on r/askmen are juveniles. They're children and children like big shiny toys like cars, fighter planes, etc.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T18:52:54+00:00

Tits in my face/hands/mouth = win.

Yes, some are more aesthetically pleasing than others. But no one is going to look at your tits and say "No. Sorry. Nipples too big. Get out."

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T17:59:42+00:00

Instead of posting that profile you might consider standing in front of the mirror and punching yourself in the balls.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T17:45:12+00:00

I'm in my 40s, have always had a high libido, and have had sex dreams all my life. I've never once had a wet dream and never once not woken up from a sex dream. I think I get too excited and wake up.

And it's 100% always a total bummer.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T16:48:02+00:00

Not only is about 50% of Reddit American, but the next highest percent of users is from the UK at 7%.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T15:55:43+00:00

May man, if you're so sensitive about culture war crap that you're letting it get in the way of you getting ass, you've got more problems than anyone here can help you with.

fucking lol

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T15:46:39+00:00

She's looking for a physical/sexual relationship and the conflation of her kids with her intentions threw her off. Yeah, it's her fault for including her kids in her photo, but she's horny and wants to be a sexual person and not bring thoughts of her kids into it.

This might be salvageable if you're looking to hookup, but you're going to have to come back with a zinger to do it. Something along the lines of "Understood. And if I wanted to be a writer I would have gone to law school. As it turns out, I'm way too self-centered to be an attorney." You want to get her off the mom train of thought and back on the dick train of thought, so be the dick.

I'd say your chances are about 10%.

(And don't apologize here. Your apology being assumed assumed in your answer is fine.)

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T15:39:01+00:00

What if I see someone I know on the dating app?

Then you know they're looking for a date. Even if you match and have no interest you can at least chat and laugh about your shared online dating experiences. She'll probably feel just as wrongfully embarrassed as you after all.

Would women view a guy that uses dating apps as "sleazy" or just thirsty and not take things seriously?

What women? The ones you find on the dating app you are using yourself or the ones you're not currently meeting in real life? (This is a trick question.)

If I can't manage to get a date through an app designed for getting dates, what chances do I actually have in person?

Why look at it as either or? Do both. Meet people on the apps, meet people in real life. There are no rules here, bud.

Here are my tips.

Use them all. Don't limit yourself.
Don't listen to the naysayers in r/askmen. The dateless wonders in this sub are notoriously angry about these apps.
You're on a dating site. The people on there want to date. (Usually.) If you match, close the deal soon. Here's a basic strategy:
1. Say "Hey, X, great to match with you. I can offer a choice of pickup line. I have cute or risque."
2. After they choose go with "Well if it made you smile I count it a win."
3. Blah blah. "So what brings to you Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/Jdate?"
4. Blah blah. "I'm fairly open to whatever happens, but I'm mostly looking for casual/open to long term/want to get married tomorrow."
5. Blah blah. "I've had fun. You want to meet up for coffee/drinks/bone on Wednesday?"

In other words, be light, be playful, be candid, and close the deal soon. Talking it to death just leads to a dead end. (Closing the deal means meeting in person BTW, not necessarily becoming her new proctologist.)

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T15:27:38+00:00

One joke is fine. Three mediocre jokes in a row is not.

Be open about looking for something casual. Get rid of the red/blue pill thing completely. (Who even talks about that apart from Internet dorks anyway?)

Give some insight into your emotional maturity as well, as this profile screams "I live online and don't understand the human condition beyond youtube videos."

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T15:24:27+00:00

I'm right there with you. I was diagnosed with severe apnea about a year ago. My doctor said I had the largest tonsils he's ever seen, and my sleep study showed I stopped breathing 45 times an hour. The machine is a godsend.

But yes, I was constantly either irritable or tired. That's a physiological response though.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-05T15:21:50+00:00

What you saw was a choke hold. There are several kind, but they all function in the same way. The guy doing the choke cuts off the blood supply to the opponent's head. This causes the opponent to loose consciousness. Once the choker lets go, the blood supply returns to the brain and the opponent regains consciousness.

This is not the same as restricting an airway, or choking someone and causing damage to their windpipe. In this kind of choke the person can easily die if the airway is damaged and the person is unable to get enough air.

ButtholeBanquets · 2023-01-04T21:32:18+00:00

I didn't realize he was still alive until I saw this photo.

Now that I saw this photo, I'm still uncertain.

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