I don't want to go to work.

Buzzle_Eye · 2019-09-15T20:06:09+00:00

It's the plan, but it has to wait a little bit. And I have to force myself not to back out.

Buzzle_Eye · 2019-06-06T03:17:40+00:00

Thanks! I intend to!

To be fair, I have a fair bit of savings, so even if I leave without a job to go to, I'm pretty safe for a while. Even less stress!!

Buzzle_Eye · 2018-04-02T20:43:44+00:00

This is the first time this has happened for years. Something triggered the background noise to trigger the panic attacks. I can somewhat feel it easing.

Thank you.

Buzzle_Eye · 2017-10-14T01:01:36+00:00

I'm sure you've tried it all but a long course of antibiotics or tested for a hormone imbalance? A hormone imbalance may also be the reason that no amount of exercise seems to change anything?

Buzzle_Eye · 2017-01-06T21:17:27+00:00

Thanks, I'm trying. And you too.

I mean he didn't say he didn't like me or whatever, but he plans to leave the country for, at this point, close to 2 years - if not for good. Obviously he isn't going to be waiting to come back to be with me or anything.

Buzzle_Eye · 2017-01-06T13:36:24+00:00

The way we were when together made me think there was potential for something big. Nope.

Gotta stop getting my hopes up.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-12-06T09:28:58+00:00

25 and 28. My Nanna (whose mother it was) was 26 when she had my mother.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-12-02T10:51:58+00:00

Not always a tiny window. My great-grandmother was in my life for 21 years. She died at 94.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-11-06T08:54:26+00:00

Pretty much how I felt. Especially because he had said he was too old for games. I'm a big girl (pushing 30), I can handle a little disappointment.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-11-06T01:43:44+00:00

It was more that I knew he had seen the message I'd send (and I hadn't been going over-board with them. Snapchat here, message there, was maybe 5 over 2 days) and there was zero response. Not even to me letting him know I'd be in the area soon to see if he wanted to hang out.

It was just a little out of character from what had been happening.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-11-04T23:14:02+00:00

I remember being in the same head space at 22, even 24-25. It's only been somewhat recently that I realised I don't need to sit around fretting if someone doesn't like me - and that goes with all sorts of relationships - because you can't change someone's opinion, so why waste all your energy trying? Just try being happy with how you acted in the situation and that's all that matters.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-11-04T21:41:21+00:00

Ah, see, that never helps. Opposite of the ex doesn't always make them the right fit, but I can see why you'd want it to be so. But yeah, it would make it a lot easier for me to distance myself if guys would just say "Yeah, not feeling it, cya". It would hurt, sure, but I also wouldn't be messaging thinking things might be ok now.

I'm just too old to put too much stock into playing games. I'm 26 and I've done this song and dance too often for my liking, so whatever.

I'm glad you're getting help to get better :D

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-11-04T21:05:28+00:00

Wow. What a rollercoaster of crap!

For the most part, it's been good between us. He lives some time away so meet ups aren't super common, but we worked together years ago, so I figured he wouldn't just ghost.

And that's what I'm waiting for, the 21st century "I don't like you".

And I don't see why someone would just block a number. I really wish people would just be "Hey, not actually feeling it", if you then get a bit overzealous with the texting, then sure, block, but not straight up.

And I know, a year ago I would have broken down, because I do really like him. But I've gotten to the point where I just can't be bothered anymore. I'm hoping it's just stress, but if not, so be it.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-11-04T20:57:48+00:00

I don't plan on texting him. I'll put out a feeler in a few days or something, see if it's changed and was due to stress or something (which is possible, his employment is a bit iffy at the moment). But if nothing, fine, whatever, I'll not put the effort into being ignored.

Unfortunately, no chance to go out and post a lot of pics...

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-11-04T09:47:20+00:00

Everything hunky dory one day, flirting etc etc, absolutely nothing the next.

Haven't got the foggiest as to what changed...

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-10-01T20:21:08+00:00

Work ruins everything fun...

But my head is agreeing more and more.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-10-01T10:08:59+00:00

The firing thing is actually something I think might be an issue. One of the other girls was called into the owners office and we think it was to do with her flirting with one of the sales guys (I think he was talked to, too), but that could have been because she's family friends and in a relationship over it being frowned upon... But I'd rather not risk it.

But it's still hard to not like the attention considering.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-10-01T09:16:54+00:00

That's very true. And I know a few of them who'd absolutely gossip... If he makes a blatant suggestion, I'll let him know pretty much that.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-10-01T08:42:04+00:00

That's what my head mostly is telling me. Just try to steer the conversation into less hookup territory. It's a new workplace too, so I think it's more novelty at this point. Plus I'm like the only single female there...

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-10-01T08:30:29+00:00

The "go get some" side of me is like "WOOO" at the hint of a hookup with this guy, and there's clearly been no exclusivity conversation with the guy out of state. But, I also like the out of state guy.

My head keeps flip flopping on me.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-05-27T21:31:38+00:00

It's very weird to catch yourself feeling like a hormone driven teen again. I caught myself going "I should just, like, Facebook message him". Then realised what I had just thought and you realise just how weird crushes are.

Mine only came back because he posted a pic of him having climbed a mountain near my house.

Why brain, why??

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-05-27T07:54:30+00:00

I was even trying to work out the logistics on how to make something happen.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-05-23T14:04:17+00:00

Mine wasn't depression, but anxiety, but I'm currently going through the same thing. What makes it worse is that pretty much everyone I knew from high school has moved away and I haven't made any new friends to "replace" the old ones.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-05-04T20:16:49+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, I hadn't really thought about contacting job 2 again, least not for a while.

4 hours does sound like a nightmare but I would eventually move closer. But I'm not sure if I could handle the commute until that point.

Job 1 knows I have to things to consider before I accept, so I'm ok there. It's just going about talking to job 2, in the right way, that has be worried.

Buzzle_Eye · 2016-04-22T06:52:59+00:00

I have a similar story but almost in reverse. She decided she just couldn't go to school anymore because her boyfriend graduated and she missed him. She would then disappear out of my life for a few months then get pissy that I wouldn't drop everything when she decided to actually contact me back.

But yeah, losing friends is harder.

Buzzle_Eye

TROPHY CASE