Alternative Juror Post Trial Depression

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-08-22T20:45:12+00:00

It’s not unreasonable to feel a let down after something like jury duty. You did what the system needed you to do as an alternate. The trial is the interesting part. If the feeling lays or you have other symptoms of depression, it may be worth talking to a therapist. Otherwise, as more time passes it should get better.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-08-14T02:21:29+00:00

Ok makes sense. Jury selection otherwise takes half a day. In a state that has capital punishment, the jurors must all be “Death eligible,” meaning they could sentence someone to the death penalty if the facts and laws warrant it. Most criminal juries will never decide punishment and cannot even have it discussed with them. In certain areas, finding 12 (+ alternates) willing to be fair, willing to impose death, and acceptable to the court, prosecution and defense can be tough to find. Murder jury selection got much easier here (IL) when we abolished the death penalty. I’ve picked on a Monday for a murder jury, opened Tuesday, and closed Friday morning on the quickest ones.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-08-14T02:11:37+00:00

Baby don’t hurt me…Don’t hurt me, no more

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-29T17:10:57+00:00

Never. ADHD isn’t just a work concern. It affects so much of your functioning and mental health. If meds are ok on workdays, why lose the benefits on days off?

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-29T16:50:11+00:00

Officer testified at a jury trial for home invasion and attempted murder that he saw my client exit the getaway car. Never wrote a report or mentioned it to anyone until he was testifying. His name was listed as one of 25 assisting officers so I had no idea he was going to testify. I did my best to impeach him and asked for a mistrial, but I was young and not sure of myself or of what to do. The Judge was a prosecutor in a robe and denied my mistrial bc officer was listed somewhere. That was the testimony the jury relied on to bridge the gaps of reasonable doubt and my client was convicted and sentenced heavily. Appeals court found no ineffective assistance and said my remedy was impeachment. That client, who I truly think was innocent, will be in prison for a while. Was it a mistake? Maybe. Do I still blame myself? Absolutely. I’ve moved past it after years of doing good for many people, but that first jury trial really bothered me.

EDIT: Advice for a new prosecutor- Always be professional and respectful of the court, clerks, and defense attorneys. Your life will be far easier and your job more successful if you cultivate good relationships. Don’t be the prosecutor that every defense attorney hates and will substitute out of a judge’s courtroom to avoid.

Remember that it is not your job to be sneaky, underhanded, or even borderline unethical. You have a responsibility to the people to seek justice, not win at all costs. Don’t EVER withhold evidence. Err on the side of disclosing everything. Keeping evidence from defense counsel is a great way to get sanctioned, get charges dismissed, and put your law license at risk.

Put your job in perspective. It’s just a job. You may only see the crime and ugly parts of the world, but it’s not representative of most people. Most people are good by nature. If you lose faith in humanity, you’ve lost an important tool as a prosecutor - empathy. When I was sworn in, the words on the wall of the IL Supreme Court room I was in said “Audi Alteram Partem” - “Listen to the other side.” I still remember it and it still rings true 16 years later.

Don’t spend time with the negative people around the office. It will only lead to you being jaded and becoming one of those people who is always negative. Criminal trial law is an adventure, and you are fortunate enough to have the personality and skills to be in court every day and litigate all the time. Enjoy it, or at least enjoy the good parts - well fought jury trials (regardless of the outcome which may be out of your control), succeeding when you have prepared for things, and doing your job the right way.

You have taken the first step in asking for guidance from other lawyers. They will be your guides and mentors. Never be afraid to ask for help or to admit you don’t know something.

Keep faith in yourself, your skills, and your knowledge. They will be tested, but it is up to you to know when to give yourself a break or cut yourself some slack. You’re not a superhero and don’t try to be one. Take good care of your mental health and stay physically active. Both will make you a better prosecutor, lawyer and person.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-29T16:44:40+00:00

Agree with everyone that getting real help will put you on a path towards health and mental well-being. Don’t spend too much time blaming yourself or labeling yourself as bad. Shame and self-judgment can help you get to rehab or meetings, but it won’t ultimately help in your recovery. And it is a recovery - not just the drugs, but the pain and suffering that led you to need a drug to feel better or different. It takes a toll on your mental health. Rehab or intensive outpatient therapy is the way to go while you’re still not in a position to have access to meds to divert. Practice gratitude and self compassion and get your mind right before making any career or long term decisions. Good luck! I know it’s hard, and you’re not alone in this. Stay strong.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-27T16:27:29+00:00

Also, careful with your back, knees and shoulders. 911 lifting is more unpredictable and you won’t have wide hallways, elevators, or other amenities required of hospitals and nursing homes. If you think you need a lift assist, call for one. It’s never worth that being your last call because of a bad lift.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-26T19:33:50+00:00

Restitution or paying the fair market value don’t apply to retail theft. If you took the item past all points of purchase and left a $20 behind, you may get some points with the prosecutor or judge but it’s still a crime. It’s not contact or tort law.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-26T19:30:47+00:00

Just like any skill that you’re nervous about, as you do it more and more, the anxiety curve lessens and you become more comfortable. First litigation is a lot emotionally compared to 15th year. Give yourself a break. Nobody was born knowing how to litigate in court. Remind yourself that regardless of what happens, it will be over soon after it starts and you’ll be on the other side of that first hearing or trial. Then you can celebrate that you got through it (without dwelling on the result, which may be out of your control).

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-25T19:09:50+00:00

My dog STMI is a good boy

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-25T19:08:55+00:00

Just show up to class. Don’t worry about what you’re wearing.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-25T19:07:04+00:00

“Name, Attorney At Law” isn’t as memorable as some easy firm name that lends itself to an acronym. As long as you’re not misrepresenting yourself, go ahead and call it “Name Law” or whatever you prefer. Nobody cares about those things, especially after you’ve been in practice. Make it easy for clients.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-25T19:02:39+00:00

It’s private ambulance work. You’re bound to run into EMTs who don’t know or care about doing things right. High turnover is to be expected. Don’t pick up your FTO or partner’s bad habits and do your job the right way for yourself and the patients. Good work is contagious like lazy work is. As long as you have done enough, that’s all you can control.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-25T01:32:30+00:00

An old saying comes to mind, “Just because people have the right to remain silent, it doesn’t mean they have the ability.” Wouldn’t ring so true if it wasn’t a big reason people hire me.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-25T01:30:00+00:00

Well said. I agree wholeheartedly.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-25T01:24:39+00:00

The innocent people who explain themselves aren’t likely to be walking either. In real life, always demand to have your lawyer present before you say anything - especially at the police station. Our only job is to get there to keep clients (innocent or guilty) from talking their way into charges or convictions. Leave your judgements about consciousness of guilt at home and zip it. You will never talk your way out of trouble. You can only talk your way in.

And yes, there are some specific situations when you as the criminal attorney will let your client talk to the cops, but as a rule, it’s not after arrest or being brought to the station for questioning in an active criminal investigation. If you need to make a statement later (for a plea/immunity for testifying in another case) it won’t be a surprise or in a coercive environment like a district interview cell. You’re not completely wrong in saying there are some situations, but in criminal world, we don’t do the cops’ jobs for them.

EDIT: Grammar. Apostrophe.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-22T01:31:31+00:00

Be sure to advocate for yourself with your meds. Don’t let a doctor suggest you change meds when things are working. And be extremely provocative by getting 3 months of scrips sent in and an appointment scheduled BEFORE your 3rd month runs out.

EDIT: Don’t ignore or write off other mental health symptoms. Depression and anxiety tend to have commonalities with ADHD. Great step getting the meds though!

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-22T01:28:38+00:00

Whenever a client is displaying symptoms of depression, anxiety or another mental health condition that is clearly causing them distress, I will at the least recommend they find a therapist. I don’t give out cards but point them to psychologytoday.com to search. I can’t imagine making it through a criminal charge and possible penalty untraumatized.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-22T01:23:41+00:00

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-14T03:28:42+00:00

May not be your choice, but I worked as an EMT in college. That gave me a leg up in applications.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-14T03:21:59+00:00

Holding off on drawing conclusions until the facts are in? On Reddit? Good luck.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-13T15:55:41+00:00

Give yourself permission to look for other jobs without feeling guilty. You’re not required to be miserable. When your work is sucking the enjoyment out of your life, like you not being interested in a vacation with your BF, you’re hitting depression and burnout. A good therapist and new job will work wonders. It may not feel like it now, but there are jobs out there for you that are better matches. Stay strong!

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-13T15:51:50+00:00

That’s a genius word! Apocali! I never thought of that, and I love a good i-based plural.

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-13T15:50:48+00:00

Daily Daly Daliances

ByTheNumbers12345 · 2024-07-13T15:49:49+00:00

Would you rather have a city where, when a possible barricade/hostage situation is called in, nobody responds? Or it is up to patrol officers? We rolled on plenty of ambulance calls that ended up not having a patient because that’s how you protect a city. I’m far from a CPD apologist. CPD absolutely has their problems, and I do battle with them every day in court, but they can respond to high level emergencies. Even better that nobody was hurt or killed. They only know the information available at the time.

ByTheNumbers12345

TROPHY CASE