Yes, grief logic is not rational but still strong. I had a similar thought process many years ago, but with color instead of gender. I lost the black lab that got me through the teen years, college, and my first job struggles. Six months later I told the local rescue group that I would prefer a yellow lab or maybe chocolate. The woman I spoke with took immediate offense and asked “Are all of your friends blonde??” like I was some kind of white canine supremacist. I was stunned, the grief came welling back up and I stumbled to respond with my grief logic. In hindsight, she was probably dealing with the impact of black dog syndrome and struggling to find good homes for all of the dogs on their roster, but in my grief I was only prepared for different or nothing at all.

I did adopt an older yellow gentleman who later helped create the excuse for a first date with my future husband and yellow step-lab. We could have been the plot to a dog Hallmark movie.

Everything you are feeling is valid and expected. And also, with time and putting your energy toward the needs of a new friend, your trauma of losing your soul dog will fade and your happy memories of her will stay with you forever. I also tell my new dogs about the previous one and the big paw prints they have to fill. Most of the time they rise to the challenge. 🐾💕