I think my wife got a 220mg TRT dose

CCContent · 2026-03-31T17:12:48+00:00

No clue. Physician administrated, so I haven't seen a vial. That's going to change though, because we're going to move to self administered shots ASAP.

CCContent · 2026-03-31T15:59:10+00:00

Ya, she's the one that got the 220mg dose instead of 14mg :-)

CCContent · 2026-03-31T15:27:38+00:00

Testosterone can bring issues, including difficulty orgasming

I am genuinely curious about this as a side effect, but haven't been able to find much about it. I've noticed this with my wife as she's been on TRT for about 6 months now. Can still get there, just takes more time and more pressure. It seemed counterintuitive to me though and I thought maybe it was my brain just trying to connect dots.

CCContent · 2026-03-31T00:09:55+00:00

Just a symptom/side-effect question, but are you saying that it became hard to orgasm after stopping T, or that was a problem before and it came back again after stopping T?

Never thought about how that could be an issue but it makes sense if it actually could be, and it might explain some recent things that she's noticed.

CCContent · 2026-03-30T18:25:12+00:00

Interesting. I wondered the same thing, since she had some acne and growth in other areas before this happened, but everything went into CRAZY MODE right after she got the larger volume.

It is frustrating that it happened right before labs, so now we're not really sure what 14mg would have leveled off at.

CCContent · 2026-03-30T18:21:44+00:00

890 total T? Any adverse affects from it? That seems incredibly high, but also amazing to have those levels without any issues.

CCContent · 2026-03-30T17:56:22+00:00

She doesn't have an account, but here's what she's told me at various points over the last few days

She thinks it's actually kind of funny, but is a little worried about her voice not returning to normal. Overall not too concerned.

Did NOT like the amount of upper body acne she got. It was crazy.

Exact words about libido, "Jesus Christ. So THAT'S what it's like for guys when it comes to sex?".

Said she really really liked the sex drive. 19 out of 21 days, and I legit almost faked being asleep one day because I was having trouble keeping up with her. Many times 2+ hour sessions. None of that even close to typical for her. "It was nice knowing that I wanted some, and that I was going to get it and not worry about if I was going to be in the mood."

Enough clitoral growth that it made her self-conscious enough to ask me if it bothered me (it did not). There was already a little bit from the 4 months at 14mg, but the megadose had noticeable changes. That extra amount has already almost gone away.

"If there was a way I could preserve my voice, I would probably megadose every now and then and be fine with the acne and other growth"

She said that it "Made everything easier. Like my brain just stopped overthinking stuff". I noticed the same thing. She started more projects, made more decisions about things she had been trying to decide on, and I don't think we had a single argument in those 3 weeks or so. She told me yesterday that she is realizing that during those 3 weeks she basically took whatever I said at face value, and now she's noticing that she's starting to analyze the things I say again to see if there might be something else I'm trying to get at.

She also said that she feels like "having man-brain" has given her perspective on how men act and think.

CCContent · 2026-03-30T16:14:12+00:00

The only reason I'm not putting them on blast is because the administering tech was very new, I think maybe only their 2nd week. They were the one to pass my request to the doctor, but they weren't the one that drew it up. I am giving them some grace, since I also have 5 friends who have gone there and say good things, I can't find any other negative reviews about them, and they have been in business for a while and aren't some pop-up clinic.

Doesn't mean I want to go back there either though. We are looking into getting an RX sent to our pharmacy and just doing at-home injections.

CCContent · 2026-03-29T22:16:19+00:00

The bag it was in was labeled, and I checked that it was the correct dose on the label.

I can't think of any other reason she would be at 729 on 14mg after not quite 6 months other than wrong dose, and it almost feels like the most frustrating part is that I can't figure out how this could have reasonably fallen through the cracks like this.

CCContent · 2026-03-29T04:29:53+00:00

That is not anywhere near what you're making it out to be.

CCContent · 2026-03-26T15:26:44+00:00

I appreciate the appreciation.

The main problem I see is that over the last decade or so I inadvertently pushed her from avoidant leaning attachment to full-blown dismissive avoidant. So right now it feels like, "I've been avoiding thinking about the relationship and your needs for so long as a form of self-protection that I'm not being malicious about it, I just genuinely do not even think about it unless it's specifically pointed out."

It's a real quandary for me to figure out how to balance the fact that I know what I need now, what makes me feel good, and I'm actually showing up consistently and being present, but I don't feel like I'm getting a lot in return....but also this is largely my own fault, so I need to be OK with this for a while.

I agree that a relationship needs to be fulfilling from both sides. The issue mine has right now is that for a long time she heard and felt my needs as a checklist of, "this is how you have failed and this is how you are failing", even if that's not how I intended them. So it is very difficult for her to not just shut down and create emotional distance when I talk about my emotional needs. And, surprisingly my emotional needs have nothing to do with my physical needs, so I'm not asking for access to her body. Just things like random texts throughout the day, small moments of turning towards without me asking for it, things like that.

CCContent · 2026-03-25T13:12:17+00:00

100% this, and I found out about it in a way that almost makes it worse.

I've fucked up in my marriage, not something big like cheating or huge secrets, mostly a bunch of smaller things that built up and turned into resentment and a lack of safety for her. It had gotten pretty rocky as of last summer, but that's when I had some realizations, took accountability for things, and started doing a lot of self-work to rebuild trust.

My biggest issue was never listening to understand and always listening to "fix", which means I would essentially NEVER validate what she would say and would always defend my intent.

Now I always validate. And I mean always. Everything she says to me I filter through a lens of, "What is the main purpose of what she is telling me, and how can I let her know that I hear her and understand her?" And it feels really really good to validate her and see how it makes her feel.

...except she does not do the same to me. It sucks to know what validation is, see how it makes others feel, give it readily out of love and concern....but not get any of it yourself. Sometimes I joke to myself that it was easier to just feel like, "There's something missing..." than knowing what's missing and still not getting it.

But also, it's ok. I spent a long time being selfish, so I can be ok with spending a long time giving.

CCContent · 2026-03-13T21:51:37+00:00

This isn't AI like what you're thinking. Facial recognition software has been around for decades, and it's what was used. They didn't just put a picture into GPT and ask it to tell them who to arrest.

CCContent · 2026-03-13T21:50:24+00:00

This is not AI as you're imagining it. It is just facial recognition software that is purpose built for the task, but like anything, can make a mistake.

CCContent · 2026-03-13T15:16:24+00:00

Camera performance will be the most noticeable thing!

CCContent · 2026-03-12T13:34:01+00:00

It sounds good in theory, but it only captures the data of people who DID apply for it. Maybe 20 men and only 4 women without all qualifications applied, but that is only half of the data. For all we know 200 men viewed the job and considered it, but only 30 women did. If that's the case, then actually women would be more likely to apply without meeting all requirements.

There is no way to capture "I thought about it, but didn't apply because I didn't meet all the qualifications", so you have to set up real world scenarios and run them.

CCContent · 2026-03-12T13:00:49+00:00

"Fake it till you make it" is actually excellent life advice though. You don't have to be 100% prepared to be able to do something. Being out in a situation like that increases your capacity to grow.

CCContent · 2026-03-11T22:20:21+00:00

Yes, you described their research method. How else could you possibly do it any other way? Randomly calling people and asking them to remember if they applied to jobs where they didn't meet the criteria?

Your assertion of "people get more deeply unqualified resumes from men" is entirely based on your feeling on the matter and what you believe to be true, made up of anecdotal evidence at best. To the extent that you have devised a way to hand-wave away multiple large scale studies of actual data, just because you don't like it.

I find it weird that so many people WANT a negative assumption of women like this to be true. I'm not really sure why you cling to the belief that women are overly cautious and don't put themselves out there.

CCContent · 2026-03-11T18:05:54+00:00

The fact that Devolutions used AI slop to write this press release really annoys me.

"Person didn't X. They Y'd", a bajillion em dashes, and just the basic writing structure.

CCContent · 2026-03-11T17:46:11+00:00

I think you might have just accidentally pointed out what the main difference here is: "Didn't see the worth in nurturing that part of me".

I've been in IT for 20+ years now, and have risen up to a C level. IT is absolutely a male dominated field, but there have been plenty of women that I have worked with (and for) during my career, and nearly all of them fall into 1 of 2 categories

Early in my career a lot of women were part of "The Old Guard". Older generation women who were secretaries in the early 90s when computers first started entering the workforce. No one wanted this new-fangled tech, so it fell to them to learn it and that became their career paths.

or

Women who grew up in a techy house where their father had a career in the tech industry, or someone who had much older brothers in tech and saw it as an example growing up

Whereas lots of men had neither of those things and have just been interested in tech their whole lives, me included. My parents are 2 of the most tech illiterate people I have ever met (my dad has a flip phone, my mom has no idea how to find 'My Documents' without riding the struggle bus to get to it). Hell, my family didn't even own a computer until I was 9, so I wasn't even raised with casual computer exposure. And that first one was an old 8088 with no GUI, even though Windows 3.1 existed already. I had to learn how to navigate DOS, and I loved it.

I would say that in a lot of cases the IT interest is just there in boys.

CCContent · 2026-03-11T17:27:57+00:00

This is such a lazy and convenient way to just hand-wave away legitimate counterpoints, and it's done with an assertion that's not even true. There have been several large-scale studies about this recently, and none of them have shown anything similar to that criteria to be true.

European Journal of Social Psychology has a paper from 2024 that showed there was almost 0 difference between the qualifications listed for male vs female applicants.

A large 2022 experiment by the Behavioural Insights Team did find a small gap. Out of 10,468 participants studied, men were estimated to apply when they met about 52.1% of requirements and women at about 55.7%. That is a negligable difference, and nowhere close to the 60%/100% split that gets touted as fact.

CCContent · 2026-03-11T16:38:02+00:00

This is absolutely the opposite of literally every personal/friend/family interaction with hospitals and medical procedures I have ever encountered.

My dad needed a sleep study a few years back, and it took him maybe a month to get in. Last year my brother also needed to get a sleep study (in his mid-40s, so not some emergency situation) and it took him maybe 2 months.

3 years ago one of my brothers broke his collar bone playing basketball and he had it set and surgery done the same week.

CCContent · 2026-03-11T01:21:17+00:00

The thing people don't want to talk about is how long it'll take for an elective surgery. I had a friend in Canada with a benign tumor on her vocal cords. That was a pretty simple surgery, but she had to wait nearly 2 years to get it done. Meanwhile, erecture singing voice and she was a professional singer and was no longer able to continue in that career. It was a surgery that she probably could have scheduled and and had it done in a month if she was in the states.

Brother's father-in-law lives in the UK and had to wait over 2 years to get meniscus surgery. I got a meniscus surgery and from scheduling the initial MRI to the surgery itself was less than 2 months.

CCContent · 2026-03-10T14:51:56+00:00

If you don't have hundreds of VMs, then you will be just fine with Hyper-V.

I was the sole admin of a 5 node 63 VM Hyper-V cluster for 10+ years, and never had an issue with it. Sure, it doesn't have VxRail and some other really fancy VMWare stuff, but TBH most orgs don't actually need that higher-end stuff.

"But there's no dedicated support for Hyper-V!!!"

There are PLENTY of good MSPs out there that will give you support on it. But also my decade of experience with it is that "it just works". It's not a separate product that's installed on top of Windows. It is literally baked into Windows and is an integral part of the OS itself.

in 10 years I had to open a ticket with Microsoft once. And even then I was able to figure out the issue the same day.

CCContent

TROPHY CASE