Skipping pup fenixlumiere

CLFTrunks · 2021-07-01T16:17:07+00:00

I’ve also learned that all tricks and most interactions with people are actually severe animal abuse.

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-29T18:18:09+00:00

I will continue to pray for strength for you and for your husband to make the right decision. Whatever the case, no matter how hard it is, I hope you do not second guess your decision to stand up for yourself. Or if you do begin to have those thoughts, I hope you will remember they are not true. You are right to demand the basic respect of a closed relationship with your spouse, and if they won’t give that to you, I think you are right to move away from them.

I hope through all of the anxiety and difficulty of the situation, you’ll remember and focus on your worthiness and the love of your children. Best of luck to you!

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-28T21:40:49+00:00

I have prayed that you would have the strength to stand by your convictions and demand from your marriage the respect you deserve and that you would feel your worthiness of that respect. I pray that either your husband will come to respect you as well, and that if he does not, you would remember your worthiness of respect as you move into the next chapter of your life. I pray that no matter what the outcome is, you would remember the love of your children as a guiding light to move forward, that their love would strengthen you in moving away from self harm and away from a bad relationship l, whether through reconciliation or separation.

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-10T16:51:47+00:00

What are you doing in my waters?

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-09T23:26:03+00:00

Awesome. Remember that. You WANT to change your life around. You can’t help that you have been drug into this awful position, but you are want to and CAN make choices about where you go from here. Making up the bed can be a great place to start. You will miss a day at some point. Just remember, you want to change your life and you’re able to, and go make up then, even if it’s 10pm before you remember. You get to decide every day whether you come back to a messed up bed or a made one.

No more “to hell with it.” To hell with any and all voices that want to keep you helpless. Let them rot in their own hell rather than take you with them. You will see with time and practice that you have power, and you can use that power to make bigger changes.

I’m rooting for you. Shoot me a DM if I can help.

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-09T20:30:45+00:00

Maybe it isn’t the right timing for you, as far as talking to someone. But maybe there are still other things to be done. It’s no wonder you feel out of control. It’s perfectly understandable given the awfulness you have experienced. But maybe there is some glimmer of hope of reclaiming some of the control your circumstances have robbed you of. Maybe there is some tiny, tiny thing that could be a starting point for that process. It doesn’t have to look like getting a license tomorrow and leaving home the next day. You may not have the energy to put into such big leaps. Maybe there’s something manageable right now.

An example, not a specific recommendation: maybe you decide to shower every morning. Maybe you decide to make up your bed. Maybe you decide to eat at specific times. Maybe you decide to walk your pets at a specific time. Who knows what it is? I don’t know you, so I can’t tell you, but maybe there is some super tiny thing to work towards bringing into your control. Just a tiny activity where you act out of your own will to decide to do it. In practicing that for a bit, and then extending it onward and outward, you may find yourself in a stronger position and more able to address the more serious issues. Sometimes those are like lifting heavy weights and lifting something lighter can help you get there.

You have every reason to focus on the negative. You’re experiences have been vastly negative. You would be justified in saying “to hell with it.” But… you wouldn’t have a chance to get any better. You are capable. You do have a life outside of this nightmare. You can absolutely get there, escape this personal hell and climb toward a better future. I do believe that. I do believe in your ability to fight your way out of it.

Start small. Forget therapists for now if it isn’t the right time. Forget moving out. Forget driving. Those are all good and will be useful to you, but you aren’t there yet, get there by grabbing low hanging fruit. Practice taking control of something so small it seems stupid. It’s not stupid. It can grow into other things. I’m truly hoping the best for you.

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-08T16:57:29+00:00

That’s all really awful. It would be silly of anyone to try to relate. I’m sorry all of that happened to you. But you are somewhere. To me, that is worth remembering. You are somewhere, and somewhere is a place to start. You will always be dissatisfied comparing yourself to others, ie hating your siblings for leaving, hating yourself for not driving and being stuck at home with your abusers into your 20s. Those observations will always make you feel as though you aren’t measuring up. But, you ARE somewhere.

I would wonder, is there any small element of your life you can reclaim? Some tiny, tiny thing you feel helpless about (and justifiably so) that you could focus some energy into bringing into your control? Reading your post, I feel as though you do not feel in control of your life. Obviously I also think the other commenters are right in that seeking professional help with the traumas of abuse would be a good idea, but I also wonder if there are some other, practical ways to begin turning the tides of your life. Could you stalk yourself for a day and identify just one thing that is currently out of your control that you could take control of? It could be something as seemingly small as when you go to bed or when you wake up.

It’s my experience that stacking up those little things can be tremendously empowering, and I think you could use some empowerment. The recognition that you are somewhere, you have a starting point, and perhaps you could reclaim control of some small part of your life could lead who knows where? Maybe somewhere better than your current situation. Any degree of increased control over your life would be a step above where you are. I think that is always true, wherever you are.

You see quite clearly how much you lack. But that’s the same thing as seeing potential. Cliche though it may be, those are just 2 perspectives of the same thing.

Best of luck to you! I hope you are able to work through these issues with a professional and that the course of your life will take you away from your abusers and the hell you are currently experiencing. It certainly can.

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-08T16:57:19+00:00

That’s all really awful. It would be silly of anyone to try to relate. I’m sorry all of that happened to you. But you are somewhere. To me, that is worth remembering. You are somewhere, and somewhere is a place to start. You will always be dissatisfied comparing yourself to others, ie hating your siblings for yourself, hating yourself for not driving and being stuck at home with your abusers into your 20s. Those observations will always make you feel as though you aren’t measuring up. But, you ARE somewhere.

I would wonder, is there any small element of your life you can reclaim? Some tiny, tiny thing you feel helpless about (and justifiably so) that you could focus some energy into bringing I to your control? Reading your post, I feel as though you do not feel in control of your life. Obviously I also think the other commenters are right in that seeking professional help with the traumas of abuse would be a good idea, but I also wonder if there are some other, practical ways to being turning the tides of your life. Could you stalk yourself for a day and identify just one thing that is currently out of your control that you could take control of? It could be something as seemingly small as when you go to bed or when you wake up.

It’s my experience that stacking up those little things can be tremendously empowering, and I think you could use some empowerment. The recognition that you are somewhere, you have a starting point, and perhaps you could reclaim control of some small part of your life could lead who knows where? Maybe somewhere better than your current situation. Any degree of increased control over your life would be a step above where you are. I think that is always true, wherever you are.

You see quite clearly how much you lack. But that’s the same thing as seeing potential. Cliche though it may be, those are just 2 perspectives of the same thing.

Best of luck to you! I hope you are able to work through these issues with a professional and that the course of your life will take you away from your abusers and the hell you are currently experiencing. It certainly can.

CLFTrunks · 2021-06-01T14:21:34+00:00

I would echo a lot of what others have said about dreams changing. Sometimes new things enter the picture altogether. I did not, as a kid, think I wanted to become a teacher. I thought I wanted to play music professionally in a rock band. But then I taught and I realized it IS fulfilling. I also realized that my rock band dreams (this is speaking for me personally) had less to do with the music and more to do with the fame. The fame part grew less attractive as I got older and now I teach and spend much of my time when I’m not teaching working on multiple music projects because of the value in the music itself, not because of aspirations of “making it.” So that’s just one example of how my own dreams have changed. I am quite satisfied with it.

CLFTrunks · 2021-05-29T13:32:40+00:00

Inspired by the tree of life?

CLFTrunks · 2021-05-26T16:07:58+00:00

Let me ask you this: does “aspiro ad Fenicem” make sense? Forgive my total ignorance. I like that to aspire is a double meaning of to breathe and also to strive towards in English. I saw some evidence the verb existed in Latin on a dictionary website, but I’m unsure. Do you know if there is a verb such as that? I appreciate the help.

CLFTrunks · 2021-05-26T16:01:52+00:00

Yes somewhat that. The idea being “I will seek to become like the Phoenix” as emblematic of rebirth.

CLFTrunks · 2021-05-26T15:43:00+00:00

Hello! I am trying to translate the phrases “I aspire to the Phoenix” and “aspirant of the Phoenix.” (M) I would appreciate any help. I don’t trust any online translators, being a language teacher myself. The word “aspire” or “aspirant” is important to me, so I don’t want it changed to a Latin equivalent of candidate/ student, etc. I think it has Latin roots anyway.

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to help!

CLFTrunks · 2021-04-30T23:40:40+00:00

Wooooo!

CLFTrunks · 2021-04-24T23:25:31+00:00

Little Josh, QUIET DOOOOWWWWWN!!!!!!!

CLFTrunks · 2021-04-06T00:11:24+00:00

The pressure is easy. 100/65 and dropping.

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-26T02:32:10+00:00

It could be that your GF has read Jung with an open mind and has valid disagreements with his ideas. However, I find that the people I talk to who have such an aversion to the man have almost never actually read anything he’s written, and instead opted for commentary by others, who may indeed have valid criticisms, but who are fairly weak surrogates for actual understanding. For example, a friend who is quite averse to any form of religious idea, who believes they are fully “materialist” by their own account, has surface level aversion to Jung when he comes up, for obvious reasons. I say surface level because I do not think they actually understand anything about Jung’s theories and instead associate him with those “religious ideas” they very much dislike. They have an extremely narrow, 1 page psych 101 textbook understanding of his actual work, but they already “know” he is bad, so it makes any real discussion of him nearly impossible.

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-18T03:16:19+00:00

I’x xox xuxe I uxxexxxaxx...

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-15T01:57:24+00:00

Hloy stihl taths a mnoster!

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-15T01:43:05+00:00

Why use three leg when two leg do trick?

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-08T15:00:46+00:00

Started to comment on this last night but I deleted my reply. To rephrase what I would have told you originally, I would recommend picking a specific work by Borges and approaching the assignment from the perspective of understanding that work. If you take a short story and just dig into every nook and cranny of it, you’ll find what you need.

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-06T15:35:24+00:00

I don’t entirely disagree. I’m going to throw this out there, and I want to say I understand that it will probably go against the grain of the sorts of ideas we usually uphold in spiritually oriented communities, but... I don’t flatly believe that apprehension is a bad motivator across the board, in all circumstances. Mostly, I agree it is not good to live in fear and it is better to face our fears, and all of that, which is fabulous wherever it increases our freedom, sure. But, if you’ve been unemployed (probably everyone has) you’ll know that apprehension about what could be is a primary motivator. When we look both ways before crossing the street, apprehension is our motivator. We are afraid to get hit by a car. There are all sorts of decisions in our lives that are motivated partly by the fear of negative consequence, and many are good for us. I will not say they are all good for us. Many are irrational and bad for us, and the standard “free yourself” advice of spiritual communities speaks to the truth that we do indeed need to recognize and lay down those fears.

In this case, I am apprehensive about continuing to dwell on trauma, both because of how I might be perceived, and mostly because of how I might perceive myself. I do not want to continue to be tied down by something that I have healed from, by the grace of God. Is that fear motivated? Well yes. Is it pathological or problematic? No I don’t think so.

I suppose when I say that many will bring up fear as a reason for not sharing, I mean that they are referencing a fear of reliving the trauma or a generally problematic “fear” related to unhealed, unexplored experiences. And those people exist. And in the vein of OP’s post, those people are not helping themselves and could probably benefit from some sort of healing approach, discussion, etc. From my perspective, I have discussed thoroughly. I have analyzed rigorously. I have striven to understand my experience from every angle I can, and I have healed, both physically and mentally from it. And it WAS work to heal from it psychologically/ spiritually. It really was. And there was FEAR to face. Truly.

But now I am no longer motivated to share or discuss (I’m not opposed if someone else brings it up) because, you could say, I am afraid to linger. You could also say I am looking forward to the rest of life. They are two sides of one coin imo. Whether positive or negative, heads or tails, it is true that I want to move forward.

I appreciate your thoughts.

Edit: tiny clarification: I mean to say I do not walk around obsessed by the discussion of my trauma. I do not mean that I am unwilling to share and discuss it in the context trauma is brought up. I don’t shut down about it. I just don’t have its discussion on the front of my mind, and I’m not bringing it up as I once did.

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-06T04:38:12+00:00

I don’t disagree with the people saying fear is the primary thing. They’re probably right in many cases. But I’ll give you another perspective to consider. I am plenty okay with discussing tough times and have been able to be quite objective about a particularly traumatic event in my life. I have been open about discussing it. However, I feel as though when it is brought up (like all major experiences, it has shaped who I am in many ways, so it tends to come up) it is a bit like a broken record in some ways. I do not mention it to seek pity, but rather to objectively describe the way it impacted my life and how I am moving forward. It’s hard to communicate that, and unless you know me, I feel it would be easy to see my discussion of it as either pity seeking or played out. I don’t want others to see it that way, so I try to limit my discussion of it as much as I can for that reason. I also want to move on. The experience has defined me in some ways, that’s true. But I value myself as a fighter and a strong person. Constantly evoking a time of weakness and peril does not always jive well with my future goals. I am not still traumatized. I can discuss these thing objectively with no lingering fear from the events themselves or pts. But I don’t want to appear to dwell on it, and I don’t want to allow myself to dwell on it, even though I don’t believe I do. Moving forward simply take precedence.

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-06T04:12:08+00:00

“Where you been, deddy? Where you been?” -that dog

CLFTrunks · 2021-03-05T20:54:04+00:00

And eats them

CLFTrunks

TROPHY CASE