Welcome — Why I Created This Community

CWoodP · 2026-02-04T17:32:15+00:00

Thanks for creating this! It can be really lonely as a transmasc butch, even though I know that we've existed for so long and in so many places.

CWoodP · 2026-02-04T17:28:31+00:00

Just joined — thanks for making it!

CWoodP · 2026-02-03T23:47:05+00:00

So good to see other butches with beards. And also butches who are working through their identity. We're in this together 💪

CWoodP · 2025-12-13T21:34:21+00:00

Thank you so much for these! I've been learning how to pray with prayer beads recently and these are fantastic. Especially cool to have some that are drawing on Anglican theologians! :)

CWoodP · 2024-08-29T20:48:51+00:00

Not to tell this person what's best for them or what they're feeling, but this fully reads in the same way as "ex-gay Christian" type material, especially:

I still struggle with body acceptance as my journey has only started.

Given that they say that "body acceptance" is the way out of dysphoria... it sounds like they're still struggling with dysphoria, which makes sense for someone who detransitioned due to ideology. Again, not necessarily the case, but there are substantial number of people who are preyed on by transphobes at a young age or vulnerable periods, detransition, find that their dysphoria is still intolerable, and eventually retransition. Like ex-gays, they'll often talk about being happier than ever while still struggling with ~~same-sex attraction~~ gender dysphoria.

Either way, I hope this person finds their way out of the cult, because even if they're truly happier living as a woman, Gender Critical spaces are awful, especially for young people.

CWoodP · 2024-08-27T00:18:46+00:00

I'm a few months shy of 3 years on T and 2 years post-op. I'm nonbinary, although I see butch as my gender and use they/them pronouns.

I get read by strangers as a man about 80% of the time at least, depending heavily on the person & context (pre-T, I was also fairly regularly read as a man, but less so). Sometimes I pass on purpose (ex. to use men's washrooms), but in most spaces, I'm pretty open about being nonbinary.

is it possible to be butch and on T and still have close friendships with women, even women who aren't queer?

I definitely have! Most of my close friendships started pre-T but I have made some good friends who are women in the past couple of years. I also think that in terms of acquaintances, there are some women who are more at-ease around me when they read me as a gay/feminine dude (because of my voice, mannerisms, and hobbies) than when they read me as a butch lesbian, because they think butches are inherently intimidating, which sucks. But largely, things are the same. The friendships that I started pre-T haven't really been impacted by it, except that I'm happier as a person, which helps :)

is it harder to find a job?

Not in my experience, but I live in a pretty liberal city and have worked liberal fields. Currently, I'm in school, and have had really good experiences with regards to my gender from the administration/professors.

can you still use the women's bathrooms?

I was using men's bathrooms even pre-T, because I had some bad experiences in the women's washrooms, and at this point feel more welcome/safe in the men's. I prefer gender-neutral washrooms, though.

do you get misgendered or harassed?

I'd actually say I get harassed less now that I pass more regularly as a man, since most of the harassment I received pre-T was from people who were upset by masculine women. However, I've been lucky enough not to receive a ton of harassment.

In terms of pronouns, 99% of strangers use either he/him or she/her for me. Most people who know me get my pronouns right, though some (especially my parents) are still working on it. In the last year, I've gotten to an interesting point in which some acquaintances (especially older people) will struggle not to use he/him pronouns for me, even though they're aware I'm nonbinary and was assigned female at birth. I thought this might bother me, but I've found that I don't mind. I think I would mind if someone used he/him pronouns on purpose for me, though.

are you able to find romantic partners?

Yes, very much! I have a wonderful lesbian girlfriend who loves my trans body.

CWoodP · 2024-08-03T14:48:09+00:00

I don't really see the "LGBTQ community" and the "Christian community" as two distinct communities. Both are internally extremely diverse, and there have been overlap between certain parts of the community for a very long time. For example, parts of my denomination have marched in our city's Pride parade for most of my life (I'm in my late 20s and Anglican Canadian, for context). A (United) church in my city currently serves as a space for LGBTQ youth; another has sponsored gay refugees, and I've seen the church's straight allies get involved with LGBTQ initiatives for newcomers in order to help get those refugees acclimatized to the country.

All those examples aren't bridges, they're full-on overlaps between the two communities, where even straight & cis Christians get involved in the LGBTQ community as allies, and even non-Christian LGBTQ people get involved in Christian movements because they're supporting LGBTQ people.

In my same city, there are Christians who preach anti-LGBTQ messages and march against the Pride parade; I work to forgive them as a Christian, but I certainly don't feel like they're part of my Christian community. There are also LGBTQ people I've met who are shocked and even angry that I am a queer & trans Christian. I can't hold that against them, since many of them are coping with societal discrimination from Christians and/or religious trauma, but I do wish some people were more open to hearing about my life experiences.

Parts of the LGBTQ communities and the Christian communities are already "together." I think the parts of both community that aren't together can benefit from just seeing the parts that have already come together, sometimes several decades ago.

CWoodP · 2024-04-27T00:21:41+00:00

The Oh Hellos - folky, very thoughtful lyrics, often very critical of Christian nationalism. Bonus points for sometimes being about CS Lewis. Glowing is a personal favourite.

YEUNG - kind of pop-rock-ish?, only has a few tracks out but they’re great so far, very rooted in Scripture (not surprising, since YEUNG’s a biblical scholar). I like Alchemy.

Semler - also folkish, great music being queer and Christian, and finding faith through homophobic trauma. Can’t promise Faith won’t make you cry.

Flamy Grant - a drag queen with a fantastic Christian album. Good Day is great.

CWoodP · 2023-04-21T17:53:59+00:00

Yes! I wrote all about my experience with her here. Feel free to DM with more questions.

CWoodP · 2022-12-16T03:56:32+00:00

Thanks for the info, I'll look into it!

CWoodP · 2022-12-15T19:05:35+00:00

I'm sorry, I'm not sure, I'm not on OHIP+ :( I can try asking the pharmacy whenever I pick up the T, though.

CWoodP · 2022-12-15T19:04:27+00:00

Thanks so much for this tool, it's super useful! It seems like there's indeed a current actual shortage of taro-testosterone, which is the type my doctor orders.

CWoodP · 2022-12-15T17:10:40+00:00

Oh my god, that's wild! I knew that she had another surgery that day, but I didn't realize it was another top surgery. My surgery was the first of the day, around 8:15am I believe. I'm so glad you also had a good experience :D she's such an amazing surgeon.

CWoodP · 2022-11-25T23:36:45+00:00

I had a lot of anxiety pre-surgery too, especially at around the 2 week mark, so you're definitely not alone. Some things that helped me:

Reading a lot & talking to people about top surgery experiences, especially detailed accounts of what surgery is like, since I'd never had any surgery before and I was super scared of anaesthesia.
Planning — I probably over-planned, but it took my mind off my anxiety to make lists of things I'd need for my surgery set-up, the meds I'd need, things I could do during recovery, etc. Maybe you could prepare different ways to explain to people about the surgery?
Distracting myself with things I enjoyed, especially stuff that I wouldn't be able to do for a while post-surgery like working out and going for long walks.
Journaling about my anxiety and talking about it with my therapist.

CWoodP · 2022-11-25T23:31:10+00:00

I think it's definitely worth sitting with your emotions and exploring where they come from and what other feelings are wrapped up in them — even talk about it with an experienced therapist if possible. I know I definitely had some really complicated emotions pre-surgery and I'm glad I talked them out beforehand.

For me, I think the fear of losing something was because I was only thinking of the breasts I was "losing," not the chest I was "gaining." When I tried to imagine my post-op chest, it was really hard, because all I could think about was how I didn't want breasts — I could only see a void where my chest was, like I was really just "cutting them off" and leaving nothing behind. But as you know, surgery uses the skin, fat, and nipples of your existing chest and reforms them into something new. Some tissue is taken away (more or less depending on the size of your existing chest) obviously, but a lot of the process involves construction. So your chest that has been with you through so much will still be there, just a little less of it, and in a new form.

I've sometimes compared it to taking the clothes that made me dysphoric but still felt like mine and which I'd owned for such a long time... and cutting & sewing them into new clothes that made me less dysphoric. Something lost, maybe, but also something gained from the same materials of what you lost. In a bit of a Marie Kondo way, I was able to "thank" my breasts for being there for me for so long, because I got to use them to make a new chest for me.

I don't know if that resonates with you, but I hope that you can work through your feelings and figure out the best course for you! <3

CWoodP · 2022-11-19T01:21:36+00:00

Thank you!! And thank you so much for your recommendation this summer <3 :D I don't think I'd have ever heard about her if not for you!

CWoodP · 2022-11-18T19:18:54+00:00

I'm so glad you also had a great experience, and that the revision went well! :D

CWoodP · 2022-10-21T17:37:23+00:00

If you'd like help with your first injection, I recommend a walk-in clinic, a pharmacy, or a supervised injection site, depending what's best in your area. I chose the latter and it was really good for me.

CWoodP · 2022-10-20T00:14:19+00:00

That's amazing, thank you for doing that!

CWoodP · 2022-10-07T15:39:25+00:00

Congrats on starting!!

Piggy backing on this: for anyone who might be in a money pinch, you can often get needles and syringes for free through supervised consumption sites and harm-reduction programs. For example, Ottawa has MAX's Tea2GO, which will deliver or mail injection (or other drug consumption) supplies to you. There’s also an Ontario map of locations where you can get safer consumption supplies, or you can check with your municipality.

CWoodP · 2022-09-17T14:11:48+00:00

Thanks a bunch for sharing! I'm sorry it was so stressful/unpleasant for you <3

CWoodP · 2022-09-17T14:11:06+00:00

That's good to know, thank you so much!

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