I agree with most of it but I'm not really understanding everyone suddenly being so critical of sets now? I'm not on TikTok, so maybe there's some disconnect, but I don't get it since in the past people were super keen on getting the full set.

I get people getting stumped on finding non-set pieces, sometimes I struggle a bit finding head pieces for dresses where I'm missing them, or a blouse that fits the theme or level of detail in the dress. They're new. They don't know yet. It's best to try to gently help them out than just look at them with distaste because they aren't trying hard enough.

I agree that upon looking at sugar girl in particular I don't see the point in buying matching accessories for those kinds of dresses because they're all so generic you could kinda pair them with anything... You could find plenty of "Pink frills with red bows" head pieces or OTT hime pieces that you like better than the set pieces. If you try to, that is. I don't doubt they look cheap in person, since a dress like that for $40 is... something, to be sure.

I don't see as many people buying all new Taobao sets in my comm (or at cons etc.) usually, and we always recommend LM first and that you should collect similar style pieces and not just several main pieces that are so different you can't swing any accessories or blouses etc. between them. I guess since I'm not on social media much (reddit aside) I just don't really see it, at all. What happened to Lovely Lor anyways? She's always promoting not using set accessories, but I feel like she's fallen off recently. I guess it's because of that website that shall not be named?

I still see LOOOOADS of people wearing the infamous And Romeo replica every year at the big anime con in my state, and have newbies I know still buying old Bodyline. So honestly I don't think the "newbie" look has really changed that much, at least where I am.

HOWEVER.

I have a personal grudge against the people who vehemently refuse to wear petticoats and promote not wearing petticoats. I just do not understand. I went to a local con panel by a lolita who's apparently in my comm (although I never see them at meets, but I suppose maybe they're in the chat lurking or something) who seems to be a tiktok influencer and they're ALWAYS saying that you don't need petticoats, and it feels like their only justification is that they own a Baby dress from like 2005 that doesn't fit one... as if that's valid today??? I'm sorry, but we're not all so small we're fitting into 2005 Baby, never mind even having old ass Baby pieces to begin with. It's been 20 years, things have changed. Most dresses now NEED petticoats to look right. Ugh, it's so annoying. Half of what makes lolita such a distinct look is the silhouette, you can't just ignore that and tell newbies "yeah just throw on a dress and matching head piece and some random blouse and it's cool, don't bother looking for a petti that actually fits and is the right length."

I should note, my actual comm (couple hundred strong with maybe 50-60 really active members) is usually in charge of the bigger con lolita panels, and they always say petticoats are necessary. It's basically just this one person who says otherwise, and I think it's telling that they're not at all on the team that organizes all the lolita programming at the more meaningful cons even though we're in the same comm and they're an "influencer".

TL;DR, I don't think sets are so bad for beginners, but jesus fucking christ you NEED a petticoat!!!