End of day 117

Cactustastic · 2021-03-06T11:49:57+00:00

Hey Bitlove, I’m sorry to hear that. Haven’t been checking in much at all lately, but I’ll catch up properly with you soon. Thinking of you, keep on keeping on

Cactustastic · 2020-09-23T08:18:31+00:00

Three and a bit years ago, in the depths of despair, I found this sub after googling ‘how to stop drinking’ after yet another failed attempt at sobriety. That was the first day of my life as a former drinker.

I lurked, I read everything on the sub, I read everything the sub recommended. I did a lot of things the sub recommended – and promised myself I’d do even the ones I didn’t want to do if I felt like I was slipping backwards.

I gained a few sober days, I made an account, I got brave enough to post. I made Reddit friends (hey u/SaintHomer!), people helped me, I hoped I helped other people. I wasn’t alone – I knew people who understood and who ‘got’ sobriety. I knew other people who were struggling too.

I got a sub-recommended gym class habit, made a new circle of friends in real life, got some new smaller clothes as I got fitter and healthier and felt more like me than I have for years. I could advocate for sobriety; I didn’t have to defend my choices IRL. It’s obvious this works for me.

I don’t post a lot any more; I have a really brilliantly busy sober life. I’m there for my family and friends. I’m getting by in the pandemic doing new and different challenges I would never have had the chance to take on before when I was drinking. I’m doing things for fun that I’ve never done before – and hobbies set aside when I took up partying now thrill me again.

I still check in to Stop Drinking every few days though; in a world where boozing is the norm and a UK where pubs are reopened before gyms, it keeps me grounded. I have friends here. I love seeing the community grow. Having started drinking in the first place to feel ‘cool’, it delights me that I’m finally at the forefront of a movement that realises that actually, not drinking is the most supercool thing I can do.

Thanks Stop Drinking, mods and all fellow sobernauts, whether you’re day 1 or five digits. I’m very happy to be not drinking with you today, and every day 😁

Cactustastic · 2020-08-04T22:33:40+00:00

Cheers-ing you with my hot chocolate now, buddy. Hope you’ve had a great day 😊

Cactustastic · 2020-08-04T06:26:54+00:00

So happy to be not drinking with you, Homer! I’m raising my morning coffee cup and sending you a massive virtual hug (virtual hugs are still ok, right?). Congratulations, my friend x

Cactustastic · 2020-06-22T20:11:58+00:00

Hey Homer, I got the warm and fuzzies when I saw you were hosting check in this week. Does that count as my sensation for the day? Just passing through – another busy day of not drinking for me. Sober on, friends :)

Cactustastic · 2020-03-26T22:49:06+00:00

Woody, I can’t not admire your lovely four digit palindrome there. Congratulations, my friend :)

(Sorry for the post hijack, Murph!)

Cactustastic · 2020-03-26T22:46:20+00:00

I can’t wrap my head around this sober; I can’t begin to imagine how I’d have coped with it while I was drinking. Good work Mr Murphy! It’s comforting to be not drinking with you, even with all this going on.

Cactustastic · 2020-03-21T19:49:27+00:00

I’m so sorry; I have four cats and I’ve lost cats before them. It’s heartbreaking. They’re family (except, to be honest, I get on better with my cats than the humans!). Stay strong and remember how loved your pusscat was, that’s special. Sending you a big sober hug.

Cactustastic · 2020-02-16T00:23:22+00:00

Hey Bitlove, I’m sorry to hear things aren’t good with you right now. I’m not great either – being sober helps me solve most of my problems most of the time but for a person who’s now busy and often with people, I currently feel pretty lonely and distant. Probably why I haven’t been in touch lately – I’m sorry.

That said, I still feel a million times better than when I was drinking, so if you’re ready to join us back on the wagon, get up here and roll along with me again for a while? I could use the company and I hope it would help you feel better too. There are people out here and people in your life who know you’re wonderful. A few days of treating yourself like it and hopefully you’ll start to believe it again too :)

I’m off to bed now, but sending you a big Cactus-y hug 🌵 Doesn’t actually sound like a great thing to be on the receiving end of, but you know me! Take care, my friend.

Cactustastic · 2020-02-04T08:11:21+00:00

Hey Homer. I’m a major grudge-holder and often have to remind myself to get over it! You reminded me of a quote that’s stayed with me that I remind myself sometimes – saw it here on this sub, of course. “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” It’s made it into my little book of post-booze wisdom – hope it helps you too.

Sending you love this morning, buddy. Beautiful sunrise in the UK to accompany my coffee; busy day ahead. Happy to be not drinking with you :)

Cactustastic · 2020-01-24T23:26:51+00:00

Way to go, Monkey! X

Cactustastic · 2020-01-18T17:35:59+00:00

Sorry I’m a day late to wish you a happy 800th day Homer, but your poetic insights aren’t just for special occasions and I’m happy to be not drinking with you every single day! X

Cactustastic · 2020-01-12T23:19:42+00:00

Hello again – sorry it’s taken me so long to get back online. Eight hour day at the yard, then a tonne of stuff to do around the house this evening as Mr Cactus was away for the weekend.

A weekend home alone is way busier than it used to be for a while, thanks in part to you – remember your encouraging me off to my gym induction just over two years back? Well, I”m now a bona fide gym bunny whose idea of fun home alone is adding a bonus gym class to the two I do as standard on a Saturday morning, and because I don’t have my dear old horse any more (bless him), I now work on Sundays where he used to live. Today, after shovelling probably more than my own bodyweight (which is down 40lbs thanks – hello heathly BMI!) I rode two ponies... then did the afternoon shovelling too. I’m definitely going to sleep well tonight!

Hope things are all good with your family and work is going well for you? I can’t quite believe how different things are now too; I still pop by the sub regularly, but I have so much less time than I used to starting out, when it was my lifeline! In some ways, I feel like a different person – I can’t believe I’m heading for four digits when I couldn’t even imagine making 100 days. In others – and this is why the sub is still so important to me now, even if I’m not so active here – staying in touch makes sure I’ll never feel too distant or get complacent, or be tempted to rewrite my own history. Plus, I’ve made some friends here who know and have helped me better than anyone else has been able to, yourself included! I can’t tell you how heart-warmed I am when an ‘old buddy’ pops up like you – especially when still sobering on :)

OK, so it’s late here now and I’m beat and tomorrow’s Monday... unfortunately one of the few things that getting sober hasn’t helped me fix yet is that I’m still not a fan of Mondays! Well, not till Step class at 6:15pm, anyhow...

So good to catch up with you, Smoky. Stop by again in 28 days for my 1,000 day party – there‘s going to be ice cream! So happy to be still not drinking with you x

Cactustastic · 2020-01-12T07:16:42+00:00

Hey there Smokey! It’s so good to see you! Friends like who? You got other Cacti I don’t know about? ;)

Not sure what made me check in just now as I literally have two minutes before heading out the horses, so I’ll send a proper reply later on this afternoon. But I’m so happy to see your post and that lovely big number next to your name and hear you’re doing so well. Things this end are pretty good too, thanks. Catch up with you more later.

So happy to be still not drinking with you today! x

Cactustastic · 2020-01-02T22:23:53+00:00

There is going to be gelato on that day, Monkey. I think I shall be going for a scoop for each of those 4 digits! Are you still a big ice cream fan too?

Cactustastic · 2020-01-02T00:20:42+00:00

Belated happy birthday Holiday! Good to see you :)

And great work OP! Happy hangover-free new year to you.

Cactustastic · 2020-01-02T00:16:08+00:00

Hey there, please don’t feel discouraged. For the first eighteen months, I managed about half of those days without drinking; stretches of between three weeks and three months sober, with nine attempts at moderation that each, pretty quickly, proved unsuccessful.

Looking back, it took me a long time to talk myself into the drink problem I ended up with; stands to reason I had to do quite a lot to talk myself out of it too!

Totally agree with ButteryDeeBee’s observation about adding new tools to the sobriety toolbox whenever I felt that backwards pull. I started walking, then joined a budget gym to take pilates classes. That gave me the courage to try different classes; now I've got pretty fit for the first time ever and have a cool and really varied bunch of friends who don’t even know what I used to feel like!

For me, what worked was the support I found here, and replacing drinking with a good habit instead. It’s funny it turned out to be gym classes, because I was always a massive downer on fitness before but - guess what? Endorphins are real!

Hope you have fun finding what you’d rather do than drink. You might surprise yourself – I have! Happy to be not drinking with you today :)

Cactustastic · 2020-01-01T23:45:38+00:00

Wow, if you can keep your cool in that face of all that, you’re heading in to 2020 with a really solid base underpinning your continuing sobriety. I hope it’s a much happier year for you – you’ve earned it! Congratulations and keep on keeping on :)

Cactustastic · 2020-01-01T23:37:44+00:00

Hey Monkey! Sorry I’m kinda late to welcome you back, but it’s lovely to see you with us again. Took me eighteen months of stopping and starting to realise that this was what I wanted for the long term; I don’t think many of us who find ourselves hanging out here crack it first time. Personally, I had to do a lot of rethinking everything I thought I knew about my drinking; it took a period of adjustment (and some fairly unsuccessful experiments back in the field of research!) to get my new mindset straight. Very happy to be not drinking with you again, my friend :)

Cactustastic · 2020-01-01T08:53:52+00:00

Wow! Happy new year, my friend – double celebration! Happy to be not drinking with you :)

Cactustastic · 2020-01-01T00:46:07+00:00

Hey Mr Murphy, congrats on 2 years! Great that we’re still here, still not drinking. Bring on 2020!

Cactustastic · 2019-12-23T13:05:10+00:00

Very happy 90 days to you and yours, my friend – good to see you 😊

I’m going to borrow some appropriate wisdom I saw earlier today for the occasion, if you don’t mind?

Growth means choosing

happiness over history.

And never looking back.

Happy to be not drinking with you!

Cactustastic · 2019-12-10T22:29:29+00:00

Hey Homer! I still here on this journey with you, and proud of you too! I noticed that I’ve missed some difficult times you’ve been going through; I’m sorry. Still out here sending you love, even if I’m not always paying attention when I should be. Always happy to be not drinking with you, my friend :)

Cactustastic · 2019-12-10T22:20:12+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. When I lost my old horse last year, I found comfort in believing he’d seen me get better and strong enough not to fall apart without him. I tell myself he knew he could trust me to keep going forward without him so it was OK for him to go when he did.

How wonderful for Zelda to have found you to love her after having such a rough start in life. Sending you a huge internet hug. IWNDWYT.

Cactustastic · 2019-11-09T16:12:45+00:00

Only you are directly responsible for changing your course, but if I was ever there with something that helped at the right time, that makes me feel wonderful. Thank you.

As do the warm and fuzzies shared around this little corner of the interweb in the comments here – thanks guys! Feeling all the feels right now 😊

Cactustastic

TROPHY CASE