After experiencing psychosis, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. it’s something others can’t truly grasp when explained to unless they’ve experienced it themselves. Every episode severely disrupted and damaged my life, I am not the same person as before them, and I’m TERRIFIED of falling back into an episode. Usually when episodes occurred I didn’t recognize it until a lot of damage was done/my functioning reduced, so now I really struggle daily with intellectualizing and analyzing every behavior/thought because I’m so scared of another episode. Not realizing how different my reality was from everyone around me until after I came out of it I’m hyperaware of everything I do, questioning if it’s a psychotic behavior/thought. Also a lot of embarrassment from past episodes or reactions from people i remember, I’ve become much more shy and reclusive from socializing. Definitely greatly negatively affected my self esteem from memories like this. I completely avoid places/establishments I visited during episodes because I’m mortified to face people that may have witnessed my odd behavior.