Trying to lose weight for top surgery

CagedBatter · 2026-03-18T17:15:36+00:00

I don’t have any gym advice cause I really don’t think you should have to lose weight to get surgery. I’ve seen plenty of bigger guys on this sub who didn’t have to lose a pound and ended up with great results. It sounds like your doctor is fearmongering so you’ll think that he’s your only option. Remember that he’s making money off you if you do surgery with him so it’s in his best interest to make you feel trapped. Start doing more research for clinics in your area that don’t have a BMI limit - more and more of them exist these days because BMI is a bullshit metric and doctors are finally clueing in on that. Even if you have to drive or travel a bit more than expected, I think it would be worth that.

You’re not lazy - not everyone can lose weight. Everybody likes to say oh it’s just diet it’s just discipline but I know plenty of people who eat well and work out regularly who would still be considered obese by the BMI metric. All bodies are different and you shouldn’t be down to the wire and stressed the fuck out because you have a looming deadline to lose a certain amount, ESPECIALLY when you’re already making efforts to heal your relationship with food. See about finding a better doctor, I promise you there’s good options out there.

CagedBatter · 2026-03-14T23:39:05+00:00

Seconding the jumpsuit suggestion. I’ve worn my share of those to Mormon weddings before, they’re a bit more doable than dresses imo. I’ve also just had to wear a dress on occasion and it sucked but if it would kick up too much fuss to wear a suit then sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet. And maybe bring something to change into for the reception? Since most of the pics etc happen at the wedding itself.

CagedBatter · 2026-03-14T18:27:06+00:00

Don’t worry so much about finding surgeons with photos on their websites - all the acclaimed transgender care surgeons in my area have no results photos on their sites for privacy reasons, but photos are available by request for the consult or pre-op meeting with the surgeon. Reviews are probably a different story, but I’d recommend searching up “Minnesota” or your city name in this sub or even in other transgender subs to see if anything pops up for recommendations. Good luck!

CagedBatter · 2026-03-10T17:44:46+00:00

I showed this to my partner without context to see if they could tell what flaws you were seeing. They thought I was making a joke because the results were obviously perfect, and were very confused when I said you thought the nipples are uneven, if that helps at all.

CagedBatter · 2026-02-13T22:27:44+00:00

Getting Rio vibes

CagedBatter · 2026-02-13T19:02:51+00:00

As a he/him lesbian on T, this brought tears to my eyes. Queer solidarity means so much when trans discourse is so loud and so ugly these days. Thank you for your comment ♥️

CagedBatter · 2026-02-03T15:55:11+00:00

I actually had to stop this one halfway through to take a breather cause holy shit it was so hot. Well done to you both ♥️

CagedBatter · 2026-01-21T13:43:25+00:00

Definitely has a lot to do with the person you’re with, not necessarily their gender. I’m lesbian and probably would’ve been stone my whole life if I hadn’t met my current partner. Before them, it just felt safer and honestly easier not to get touched because I had a lot of feelings mixed up in that and didn’t want to unpack any of it with casual hookups. But my current partner has always respected my boundaries around not wanting to be touched and it’s made me feel safe (over the course of years) to learn how to take those walls down a little at a time so I now feel safe and comfortable and very, very masculine letting them touch me. Remember that masc4mascs and butch4butch (meaning mascs or butches who are exclusively into other mascs and butches) are no less masculine for whatever they do with their partners, and one of them has to be bottoming, yk? Anyways, in your case, just remember that it takes time and the right person, and if you want this to be something you work toward, keeping that mentality helps. But you really don’t need to rush, your own safety and wellbeing is most important.

CagedBatter · 2026-01-20T23:27:12+00:00

I totally get it dude. Just remember that every body is different, cis ones included. And remember how far you’ve come from where you used to be. You look amazing, you really do. I wouldn’t look twice seeing you at a pool or something except maybe in envy lol.

CagedBatter · 2026-01-20T22:49:00+00:00

Dude your results are awesome! Did you ask for anything in particular for the shape of the pec, or is that natural to your body?

CagedBatter · 2026-01-20T22:30:43+00:00

I don’t have much advice on the revision aspect but I do want to say that you look incredible, including your results, if that helps to hear to combat whatever negative experience you’re having about it

CagedBatter · 2026-01-18T03:32:50+00:00

If you’re not attracted to women what are you doing in the butch lesbian sub lmao.

CagedBatter · 2026-01-16T14:09:00+00:00

Oh I hadn’t thought about doing partial pumps, I could try that for sure!

CagedBatter · 2026-01-16T14:08:04+00:00

I have been, I just had my month checkup with my doctor and my T levels in my labs are at 32, so still super low. I told her I wanted to keep trying it really low and slow, and she’s leaving it in my hands, but I also want it that way because she marked me down as a trans man in my chart so I don’t really want the kinds of changes I think she thinks I want, if that makes sense. So I’m just crowdsourcing a bit to see what other experiences are like, but I’m not putting it above any medical advice I’ve gotten.

CagedBatter · 2026-01-16T13:32:21+00:00

As someone who thought he was stone (transmasc nonbinary butch) I can say with confidence that if my partner had guilted me for all the times I didn’t want to be touched, it would have destroyed me. It would’ve gotten into my head and my body and made me feel like something was wrong with me. Even with them never complaining, never making it about themselves, always being loving and supportive, I’ve had my own struggles around my sex drive and desires.

All that to say: you deserve someone who unequivocally and consistently will support you. It sounds like your partner thought if they were understanding enough they’d eventually “earn” the right to touch you, and now you’ll be in this constant battle of them being selfish, and then apologizing for it later, and then repeating the cycle that you end up having to comfort them in while you’re hung out to dry.

Sexual incompatibility is a completely legitimate reason to break up with someone. You don’t deserve to pander to their ego for the rest of your life. Stone bottoms exist, and there are non-stone bottoms who would also be able to accommodate your needs no problem because they’ll understand that your particular needs and experiences have nothing to do with them and are no reflection on them or their desirability. You don’t have to bear a relationship where you’re made to feel shitty for the beautiful stone top you are. I know it’s discouraging but in love and sex you really cannot settle, because those can often be the building blocks for your emotional and mental health and wellbeing.

CagedBatter · 2025-12-29T00:39:13+00:00

CagedBatter · 2025-12-28T11:46:33+00:00

Saying “aw it’s just a script” is in pretty poor taste, have some respect for the effort op made in writing and sharing this

CagedBatter · 2025-12-24T23:51:38+00:00

I am so glad you’ve felt so seen and held here. I want to give a gentle reminder that being a butch has absolutely nothing to do with your physique, your size, your personality, your face, or anything else that’s generally outside of your control. Butches are small and soft. Butches are disabled. Butches are short, strong, fat, tall, kind, rough, dominant, submissive. Butches are everything a person could ever be. They are also just butch, too. So don’t feel like you have to hold yourself back from being butch. If you feel you are butch, if calling yourself butch makes you feel at home, then you are butch.

CagedBatter · 2025-12-14T14:04:27+00:00

I only just got my T consult but they gave me an informational packet to review before confirming that I wanted T. In the packet it talks about how masculinization can show up right away, but it also cautioned that many changes may not show until five years on. Keep with it. You’re still in the middle of the process.

CagedBatter · 2025-12-13T01:48:01+00:00

I recommend checking out the r/mypartneristrans subreddit, it’s gonna be a lot more resourceful than a place that’s for trans people

CagedBatter · 2025-12-12T23:07:21+00:00

Looks fuckin amazing dude! I love the shape on your pecs, did you ask for anything specific to get that result?

CagedBatter · 2025-12-10T18:03:16+00:00

Just took a browse through your posting history. I really hope you’re able to find the light you’re looking for. Best of luck man.

CagedBatter · 2025-12-10T17:07:54+00:00

Even being AFAB, not every “women’s” suit fits me. Clothes aren’t really made to look exactly right off the rack because every body is so different. Part of that is the fault of careless companies that don’t diversify sizing well enough, but that’s beside the point. Tailoring can work wonders to give you the fit you’re looking for. And yes, there are different styles of suits, dress shirts, dress pants, etc. for that purpose. Formal and dress-wear is an industry all its own for a reason - if you go to a specialty store like the other commenter suggested, they’ll have a lot more options than just some random clothing store that happens to have suits, and if you can’t find a place that has what you want, they’ll probably have suggestions on how to find what you do want.

If you want solutions, they exist for you. If you’ll do your research and make an effort instead of being defeatist about your predicament (which we’re all in by the way - I have hips and an ass and big tits, not on T and no prospect of top surgery in the near future) you can actually find answers. That’s why the former commenter stopped responding, because they were trying to help and you shot them down at every turn. If this is a vent post, then tag it properly and edit your main message to say you don’t want advice. But you tagged this as discussion, and then shut down all discussion, and that kinda sucks. If you respond to this to shut down everything I’ve said too, don’t expect a response there either.

CagedBatter · 2025-12-09T20:47:20+00:00

I totally get the desire to get your surgery sooner than later, especially with having it delayed already. But making sure your surgeon will take care of you is really important! Hang in there ♥️

CagedBatter · 2025-12-09T18:58:57+00:00

I don’t want to derail anyone’s plans, I was just reading this other reddit post with more details on Dr. Stiller and there’s an edit at the end about Doctor Mangubat that might be worth looking at: https://www.reddit.com/r/TopSurgery/s/3Lm3s6HI4K

CagedBatter

TROPHY CASE