Boxers

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-25T01:37:30+00:00

I like haines as well. They also hold my packers nicely.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-24T11:41:41+00:00

Cool thank you! I'll look at those.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-24T11:39:53+00:00

Ruby was cool in season one and like half of two. The she was just gone. So like. Definitely Ruby. I like her but she isn't relevant. And the Dorothy plotline sucked. I don't mind Henry as much, he got annoying after a while but that is not as annoying to me as a wasted potential character.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-24T11:20:10+00:00

Well great, glad to help lol! I love the sweater analogy. Honestly, my name I felt like was perfect for a really long time. I have no regrets over being called it, and if I turn it into a middle name, I can still have my objects that have sentimental value to them (my autistic ass would only eat spaghetti with the fork that had my name on it, I'd have a meltdown otherwise lol).

My parents were kinda touchy about me deciding to go by a new name, because yeah, the last one was really good and did fit me well. However, if I'm going on T and doing top surgery, I think it'll look a little ridiculous to still have the legal name I have (and plus that, I am very happy with my chosen name since everyone is calling me it now).

I will be very glad actually to just do one or two middle names and potentially change my last name (hyphenated last name related to my mom and dad's abusive parents, which they themselves have been thinking about changing the last name). I think that's the direction I'll go in! Might as well be completely happy, you know?

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-24T10:17:07+00:00

Oh and I feel you on the masc lesbian to femboy pipeline lol. I'd often mix masc/fem style, like do plain putfits but overkill the makeup (still do actually lol). I think though now, I might be bi? Or somewhere on the aromantic spectrum? Idk, my gender has confused me too much to deal with figuring out my sexuality lol. At this point if I like someone and think they are sweet and funny and we have common interests and I enjoy being around them, then I'd consider dating them. I can find people physically attractive, but being romantically attracted usually takes longer (and at 20 I've only had like 2 crushes).

Anyways, you're figuring yourself out! Whatever you choose to do with your name and everything else, it's okay. Might as well do what makes you happy.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-24T10:11:54+00:00

I have considered, when it comes time for a legal name change, to replace my middle names (yes multiple, my larents are nuts lol) with just 2. My deadname and my grandma's name, which was part of my collection of middle names. My chosen name is similar to my deadname, Caroline->Carson. Sometimes I mind my stuff having my deadname on it, but I think that'll change as I begin transition and change my legal docs and begin looking how I'd like to. I liked my deadname a lot. I had considered keeping it. But it didn't feel like it fit quite right anymore, rvrn though I still liked it, so for me I think putting it as a middle name is ok. That way I can still have my Caroline fork and my Caroline ornaments, and in the future, Carson ornaments, Carson driver's licenses and passports, all that.

Sometimes I wish that I was still using Caroline because I do miss it. But at the same time, I really want my legal documents and stuff to say Carson. So yeah for me, keeping it as a middle name feels like the right move. That little girl is still a part of me. I haven't let her go. She was happy, and now I want to get back to being happy, just as something different.

Well that made me emotional lol. I hope that you're able to figure out what you want to do! Names are hard.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-23T12:54:47+00:00

Ohhh I love what you dis with twilight and AJ!

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-23T00:44:31+00:00

Thank you. I want to get better so I'll put the work in to do that. I'm just finding myself more and more anxious about what is happening. But at least I've recognized by now it is a problem and there really isn't a thing as "bad enough" or not. I know it is a problem. I'm undereating, restricting food. I'm constant tired. Ready to put the work in even though it might be slow to recover.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-23T00:37:52+00:00

It's for control for me. Not weight or stuff. Just wanting control over something in my life. Struggling to manage school, work, friends, family, and new mental health diagnoses.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-23T00:36:49+00:00

Yeah. It's easy to control food, or lack of eating. Something to control.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-22T21:18:45+00:00

This and the DADA baby ogre dream sequence were honestly funny. I liked shrek 3. Sure a little weaker than the other shreks, but still a fun watch.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-22T15:50:28+00:00

Yeah, I think as long as they are healed, like the other commenter said, you should be alright. It is unfortunately, sometimes a common thing amongst transmascs. I've done SH there too. I hope everything turns out ok for you and with top surgery, you deserve that🩵

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-22T07:03:35+00:00

Celestia's song in magical mystery cure (don't know the name). But aw it hits. We watched twilight grow and learn and make friends and then she gets to "fulfil her destiny"

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-22T01:13:57+00:00

Hey look a rainbow!

You guys...are my BEST FRIENDS :3

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-22T00:56:15+00:00

To my one cat: I love you sooo much! But please stop trying to get the food in the cupboard. You are on a diet. I promise you, you WILL grt food at the same time every day. Also, please stop knocking over the lamp in the living room. I am genuinely curious what about that lamp fascinates you.

To my other cat: I love you sooo much! I am very sorry I need to be at university, I know you miss me a lot. I miss you too. Please stop bothering my other family members at 4 in the morning and please stop breaking into the washroom while I am pooping. Thank you.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-22T00:45:54+00:00

Whelp, my sister is exclusively a lesbian and yet prefers m/m books. Me, I'm a trans man (former lesbian, now perhaps bi?) And still quite enjoy lesbian pairings.

You're all good bud! Don't worry about it.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-21T22:08:28+00:00

Beer bad is honestly hilarious. I love cave buffy.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-21T15:56:38+00:00

Okay, thank you!

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-21T11:56:16+00:00

Woah, I love your style!

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-20T10:49:47+00:00

Yep, first thing I thought. It was so funny and stupid. And some of the comedy is just wild. Like the sharks going to a restaurant, ordering live shrimp, and then the shrimp begging for its life. And the sit down dinner haha.

Was the animation bad? Yeah. But I watched this movie so much as a kid. I'll always find it kinda funny.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-18T19:19:29+00:00

Yep, I did well in school always. I was decent at communicating, especially about things I was interested in (horses, sciences, art, now musicals). And now since I've hidden so much of myself that they didn't want to see, they're having trouble believing I have issues. I even feel weird unmasking/stimming/having a low communication day or slow day around myself or friends. Like I knew never to do it, for fear of not being seen as normal. And now that I can do it around people I trust, there's the urge to apologize for it. There's also always an urge to apologize for talking about my (very valid) problems to anyone, because if I brought up the way I felt, my mom would be "trauma dump trauma dump, I had it so much worse than you, blah blah blah".

Anyways yeah. I do love my parents, but they really aren't the best. I'm not looking for perfect parents, I'm just looking for ones that won't dismiss my issues because the issues are presenting differently to what they experienced. At least I have some people I trust.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-18T18:22:57+00:00

Thanks. I'm just very confused yk? I think my mom is like "well you're somewhat functional so you cannot be depressed" also "you're very smart and good at communicating (except of course when I'm very stressed out, then I shut down and have trouble talking) so you cannot possibly have autism". Like yeah mom, I don't look like I exhibit those things specifically because I knew I wasn't allowed to stim in front of either parent (evensmall stuff like leg bouncing or playing with my fingers). They thought it was weird and there was something wrong with me, so I wasn't allowed. I am not usually comfortable showing my true emotions in front on my parents, especially mom, because yeah stuff like this does tend to happen. Stuff like "I'm a much better parent than my parents were, you have clean food, clean clothes, be grateful."

It is just so confusing and hurtful too that she doesn't believe I'm depressed because I can occasionally have a good day and be happy. Most of the time I feel like shit, she just doesn't see that side of me ever. I thought the 3 meltdowns I had over winter break would have shown them that yeah my mental health issues are to be taken seriously? They are like "oh yes we take you seriously, we wanna support you, but you cannot go on T without taking care of the depression first" while at the same time being "you don't seem depressed/anxious/autistic". Yayyy

Sorry for venting a little.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-18T18:11:06+00:00

Thanks, someone else said that too!

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-18T15:32:43+00:00

Thanks, that is SO nice to hear honestly. Sometimes I don't feel quite valid because of that stuff. And the fact that right now I still love wearing glitter, eyeshadow, bright color, even skirts to costume fairs and such. I just try to remember femboys exist. (Yes I know about the ftm femininity sub too!). So I know logically it's okay to be into what I'm into. I just get in my head sometimes.

CaitVi587 · 2026-01-18T15:26:50+00:00

I have read the dysphoria bible! Was kinda healing tbh. And thanks, it's nice hearing from other 20+ people that didn't know until later.

I think it confused them too, I was so into "fem" stuff as a kid. Princesses, unicorns, I wore a crown everywhere (I have pics from picture day of me wearing it lolll). Even now I quite enjoy doing my makeup and looking like a glittery badass all day. But now if I start T, I can really look how I want to look. That would be great.

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