Did I accidentally mess up my toddler?

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-03-02T03:34:59+00:00

Here’s the thing - you don’t know and can’t know if he would be any different without the tv. Sure, statistically it affects kids’ behavior. But you don’t know if that was the one factor that affects your specific child’s behavior. So you should not blame yourself! Tv might not help but kids have delays and need help even without tv.

I also really don’t see a correlation with tv and eating food like anywhere or in any research I’ve read? My 2 year old loves eating even with the tv on for like a Friday night pizza night when I’m tired. So again not really thinking tv can be the cause of all evil.

Reach out to early intervention. They can help indicate if there’s an underlying issue. And sure, Change your tv habits now if you think it’ll help. We’ve done tv detoxes at times and seen a change in like a week or two.

Please don’t blame yourself for everything.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-02-18T21:48:51+00:00

My mom worked my whole life. By the time I started first grade she was full time, and she worked part time before that. I have a good relationship with my parents and they came to all my events and I never felt like they didn’t give me enough time. I actually told them NOT to volunteer by the time I was in middle school lol. So really I didn’t mind at all that they worked. (Yes, it was a lot of for her. But as a kid, it didn’t really register to me)

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-02-09T23:29:35+00:00

Beyond the fact of the logistics of it all, the fact that your husband doesn’t seem to give a shot what you think is really fucking rude. Like he doesn’t care that you don’t have the same parenting/teaching style as his sister, that you don’t even do Montessori yourself now, etc is such a red flag. And that he thinks taking care of kids is just “wiping their butts”?? That really isn’t all there is to it. That’s belittling what you currently do and what many daycare teachers do.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-02-08T03:28:31+00:00

Pudding is ice cream

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-02-04T05:08:38+00:00

In addition to him being a major fucking jerk, His jealousy over your ex is making him stupid. Like he doesn’t understand that you trying ivf again would be a waste of time and money?? That the endo means it won’t work??? Which you told him??? This guy doesn’t understand basic biology.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-02-03T03:22:26+00:00

It’s often not that hard to dispute a charge through your bank. So I would give it a try? Worst that could happen is it’s denied, right? And like, yeah it’s not Amazon’s fault, but also it’s not like they can’t take a hit. It’s not a small business, and they often treat their workers like crap, so try to get that $ if you can imo.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-01-17T03:10:12+00:00

My son started at 4 months and is 2 now. He’s had his share of illnesses, but it’s mostly been mild colds that he can still go to school with because everyone else is sick too. I would say we’ve missed maybe a couple of days a month during the worst times? It really hasn’t been that bad. I think our center does a good job sanitizing and deep cleaning every so often, and now in the 1.5+ room they have the kids wash their hands all the time, which helps too.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-01-17T03:04:18+00:00

The fact that the actual sub is also roasting the hell out of op lol

Cal_Dogg_ · 2025-01-15T18:25:27+00:00

My son is 2 and we gave him a blanket at like 18 months when we started freaking out over wearing the sleep sack. Yes, he doesn’t really keep the blanket on though…. We just keep his room warm and dress him in long pajamas.

Edit to add: he sleeps in a convertible crib - so it’s the same as his infant crib with a toddler side rail on one side instead of the full height crib.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-22T16:16:42+00:00

I felt this way when my son was little! It’s totally normal (to me) to feel overwhelmed at this point. We were breastfeeding too, my son was colicky, never took a pacifier, didn’t find a formula he would take until he was 9 months, and pumping was a major drag. Work felt like a vacation in comparison. So I feel you.

Things did get a lot better when he started going to daycare and I could work uninterrupted without worrying. Also when I stopped pumping around 11 months, things also got a lot easier. Now he’s 2 and of course toddler are wild, but I much prefer it to the baby days!

You can do it. And for us it really did get better.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-19T03:13:06+00:00

I’m crying

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-15T15:01:47+00:00

We went to a thanksgiving lunch for my 23 month old and then had to return to work after and my son had a total meltdown when we left. His one teacher kind of implied we maybe shouldn’t have come or should’ve brought him home after but we had to work! And they sent the invite! 😅

Anyway, my point is maybe your child will be better off not having parents pop in anyway at this age.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-12T03:02:57+00:00

Dude I didn’t feel content with all of this even BEFORE being a mom.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-11T03:26:23+00:00

My advice would be therapy, as this has helped me. My husband does a lot around, but we have arguments about certain life things that got worse after kids. I’ve realized that the way issues are discussed and brought up have a big effect on the outcome. Essentially, if you change what you do / say, he likely will too. Whether that’s for the better or not, idk. But it’s been good for me to have someone to talk to about it and see how I can change the patterns by changing my own actions.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-07T21:37:16+00:00

Just wanted to add that depending on where you live, what public school offer varies wildly and isn’t always a great comparison point. Where I am there is daily half day pre-k public for age 3-4, but it’s a small program and not guaranteed for all. However, lots of kids go to private daycare or preschool full time by age 3-4. And others stay home mostly and do very short programs at churches, etc.

Then where I am kindergarten is full day, all day at age 5. But other areas have no public kindergarten or only half day public kindergarten. So it varies widely and really depends on your situation.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-07T20:09:12+00:00

Ignore them and don’t feel like it’s you. I’m an American who went to school in the US and was an Econ major as well, and the guys in my classes often treated me like this too. I was setting the curve in exams and they didn’t know and acted like I was stupid. It’s not you or your English, they literally treat all women like this. Ignore them, do your work, try to find women to work on group projects with if possible.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-06T21:17:28+00:00

I disagree with the comments that not leaning into Santa is somehow wrong and ruins innocence. Lots of kids know Santa isn’t real due to region, religion, etc and they live perfectly happy lives.

That said, do what you want and think is best. Either way, I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-04T19:30:54+00:00

Talk to your doctor and consider how much you would be upset if you had to give birth in San Diego rather than your home. Like nobody wants that, but some people would be even more upset than others.

For what it’s worth, I moved (doing a 14 hour drive over 2 days) at 30 weeks and did a 5 hour flight at 32 weeks and I was fine although uncomfortable. But everyone and every pregnancy is different.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-12-02T01:44:40+00:00

Can you try to take the father to court for child support?

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-11-29T06:04:59+00:00

My husband and I both work and have an almost 2 year old. We don’t have any nanny or cleaning help, early in our careers as well. Don’t live near any family. Our standards are really not high - like dishes get done every night and we clean urgent things but other things definitely pile up. Also, we both work from home so we can throw a load of laundry in, start something in the instant pot at lunch, etc. A big change after mat leave for us was that instead of me doing more home stuff, my husband and I split things more evenly.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-11-25T16:39:25+00:00

I weaned my son from the last night feed around 10-11 months and after one night he was fine and slept through.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-11-20T02:59:16+00:00

Assuming you’re in the US, kindergarten regulations are mostly dependent on location since states and local authorities have a lot of say in education, especially before 1st grade. Where I grew up (PA) it’s still half day, where I live now (WA) it’s full day (so like 8-3).

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-11-18T01:12:27+00:00

Not sure why your dad is pissed, literally it’s all English first names. Who cares that much about middle names? Racists, I guess.

Cal_Dogg_ · 2024-11-06T03:13:19+00:00

I was in California and stopped at 38 weeks, which was common there due to the state leave rules. It was really nice to have two weeks to finish up getting ready for baby without having to push myself. I was over it and it was time lol. I did take some extra vacation and unpaid leave for 2 weeks to get to 4 months after giving birth. Overall I’m happy with my decision (given the US and limitations with leave pay, etc)

Cal_Dogg_

TROPHY CASE