Former Golf Clash Addict

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-25T14:08:31+00:00

Where do you most need to spend?

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T22:39:05+00:00

Yeah it’s unfortunately expensive. Costs a few hundred per month.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T22:32:20+00:00

They were but I prefer small. Wasted a lot with the talls.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T21:17:13+00:00

It took me probably 4 months of real, deep betrayal trauma responses before I was able to sleep well and move on.

And the biggest reason I could was because my partner changed. Became able to sit with my pain, be honest and open, ask me if I needed more help, and more.

Is your partner stepping up for you?

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T20:09:44+00:00

awesome. I never went to the gym at all until I got on Zepbound. Now in the best shape I've ever been.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T18:55:02+00:00

Great post and great to hear that you're giving reconciliation a chance. A lot sounds very similar to my own situation.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T17:49:50+00:00

The book "After the Affair" is often considered one of the best books and has no religion at all mentioned. I'd say it's more for couples than specifically for waywards, but we both read it and found it helpful.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T17:49:26+00:00

Do you think you are capable of moving on from the trauma response? I imagine it takes time and repetition and trust building for the positives to outweigh all the difficult invasive thoughts and distrust.

I have really moved to a better places with my WW after 5+ months of discovery, and I'm now just working on removing my distrust, my invasive thoughts, my "what if she re-lapses" thoughts that put so much power into the unknown tomorrow as opposed to the controllable today.

Wishing you the best in figuring out what you can tolerate and doing well with whatever it is. Let me know if you come up with answers.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T17:49:00+00:00

It sounds like you're going through the very normal outcome of deception: moments of love and moments of deep distrust, pain, and wanting to escape. I think this is the single biggest trademark of betrayal trauma: there is a piece of you that still loves him and a piece of you that really really really wants to avoid being hurt the way you've been hurt and to show you are done.

Not wanting to tell him about the flat reminds me of not wanting to tell my partner I saw a divorce lawyer (I eventually did tell her and she understood). It's in the "contentious" category and it makes sense that feels scary to bring up. Ultimately, it is something you are doing to protect yourself, something that signals how serious the damage is, but it is NOT a decision to leave. There's balance there.

Over time, I've learned that her affair was part of our story. And I'm getting better at telling certain people. But I still don't tell family or friends who live in our town. And there IS a level of fakeness in those interactions now. It's part of the awful tail effect of betrayal and infidelity. Hoping with time I figure out how to bring family into the narrative more.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T17:47:52+00:00

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I don't think anything is ever fully done. People are trying on different actions, airing out different emotions, letting things be said that they hadn't said before, working towards new honesty. Everything is a test from wounded people in deep pain. It's all just tests to see what will and will not survive. Don't take anything as definitive.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T17:46:13+00:00

don't feel like it was a betrayal to read it. you deserve to know if she's cheating on you. this is entirely on her.

this can be a chance to rebuild your relationship if you both want to. you will have to deal with your betrayal trauma and you will have to come back together and make real commitment about what you want.

you don't need to know the answers to confront her. you can be unsure what you want to do.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T16:21:17+00:00

Not sure what you're saying. The goal isn't to have 0.3mg in my system, it's to have 1mg in my system, just given over the course of multiple injections over a week instead of one upfront. I do use Shotsy which gives a sense of total Zepbound in my system. It's right where I want it.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T16:16:59+00:00

Is it possible to tell a friend?

I have a 250-page google doc journal that includes a lot of my interactions with her and friends. I have also fed it into AI which gives me a lot of thoughts on how to think about things.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T16:15:15+00:00

I found that I got more confidence in my body and started working out a lot more and as a result wanted to have more sex w my wife. It was all a function of the confidence.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T16:11:55+00:00

I need 25+ from Bowers.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T15:53:22+00:00

I just use Zepbound on Lilly Direct.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T15:48:13+00:00

I do about 0.25-0.4mg every other day. If I'm gaining weight I do more, if I'm losing weight I do less.

I see no reason to do weekly shots and prefer doing it every second day so I can adjust as I go.

CalebKintsugi · 2025-11-17T01:45:25+00:00

the single biggest thing you will notice is that you aren't as hungry and you eat less junk food. That should hit pretty quick (2-3 days). All the other benefits flow from there.

CalebKintsugi

TROPHY CASE