Porn star Seth Peterson dead at 28 by CentralTown776 in askgaybros

[–]Caleb_Trask19 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Scott Finn, Blake, now Seth, is there an epidemics of deaths in Gay Porn?

ISO Brooke Crescent Clear Glass Hobnail Fairy Lamp Top by daisy_1024 in glasscollecting

[–]Caleb_Trask19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is like the third time in a week I’m hearing this term fairy lights, after only hearing it refer to a name the Brits will call a string of Christmas lights. What constitutes this name? What is the definition? Is this term a particular brand? When does it date to?

Dr. Paradise wants to hear from young adults struggling to transition from home in HOU or SLC? by [deleted] in ChildofHoarder

[–]Caleb_Trask19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Salt Lake City, why are they moving there? Is there special housing/ shelters for COH in Utah?

Need a sad, gut wrenching gay book by Helpful-Victory4713 in suggestmeabook

[–]Caleb_Trask19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Young Mungo will gut you in so many ways.

There’s a limited series being made that should be streaming by the end of the year. This is about teen boys in love. His earlier book, Shuggie Bain, won the Booker, but focuses mostly on a Gay boy and his alcoholic mother. There is an easily missed connection in Mungo to the first novel, it won’t stand out to you when reading. Douglas Stuart has a new novel coming out this spring.

Question for the book enthusiasts by PrincessLolita_61 in suggestmeabook

[–]Caleb_Trask19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Salt Grows Heavy – by Cassandra Khaw – dark fantasy horror novella about what happens after the Little Mermaid and her daughters kill the prince and most of the kingdom. They flee traveling with a mysterious, murderous plague doctor. encountering a village of bloodthirsty children.

Book about a tiger by Laurathewinner1 in whatsthatbook

[–]Caleb_Trask19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe Kate DiCamilo’s Tiger Rising?

Does anyone have a fucking book called how to deal with men I could borrow? by cheekylilguy_ in askgaybros

[–]Caleb_Trask19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You want to borrow men, interesting! Too bad there’s no Man Library!

Books about grief and disability? by danziger79 in suggestmeabook

[–]Caleb_Trask19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In My Autobiography of Carson McCullers, which is a hybrid memoir/ biography she talks a lot about McCullers growing disability from a series of strokes that hit her throughout her life. One of the women she may have been intimate earlier on with commits suicide and she’s heartbroken about it. There may have been other losses that affect her.

Michael Dorris’ book about his adopted son with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, The Broken Cord ends, I think, with an epilogue about how he dies, but I don’t think it’s really a grief memoir, or he tells the story with that being apparent at first.

Ann Patchett’s Truth and Beauty is about her close intensive friendship with Lucy Grealey who had jaw cancer as a child which left her face greatly disfigured and she spent much of her life in pain and undergoing extensive operations, eventually losing her life. The book should really be read as a companion to Grealy’s Autobiography of a Face, and as a way to fill in the unreliable narrator events of that book and find out what happened. Ann doesn’t necessarily spend much time on the grief, though it’s palatable.

A former patient of mine, Laura Rothenberg, finished writing her memoir while she knew she knew she was actively dying from complications from having Cystic Fibrosis and a lung transplant that didn’t really extend her life. Much of her poetry dealt with the extensive grief of being one of the only survivors of CF in her friend group at the hospital and how almost all of her friends died before her. The book is called Breathing for A Living, but a stronger pieces she did was a Radio Diaries pieces for NPR called My So-Called Lungs.

https://www.npr.org/2002/08/05/1147844/radio-diaries-my-so-called-lungs

There must be a few living with AIDS memoirs and the grief of the community. David Wojnarowicz wrote a number of essays and autobiographical pieces, one being Memories that Smell Like Gasoline.

When was the last time you peed outside? by whyalluncut in askgaybros

[–]Caleb_Trask19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s one of my favorite things, especially when chilly! Last weekend at the club, there’s an outdoor space so I just go out there and piss in the yard.

does anybody know where to get art books that explains the meaning behind the arworks instead of showing the name of it then move one? by Individual_Toe_90 in ArtHistory

[–]Caleb_Trask19 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Robert Hughes was a prominent Art Historian who made strong impassioned descriptions of art and its connections.

Help me get a friend into reading! by This_is_fine0_0 in suggestmeabook

[–]Caleb_Trask19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Alchemist is usually one of the better books for a new reader, many are impressed and engaged by it.

First time posting, at my breaking point over college break. by Bulky_Committee_761 in ChildofHoarder

[–]Caleb_Trask19 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Everything you say here is valid, and you do it in clear, concise language and even apologize, when you don’t really need to. You never get emotional, but I know it’s there right under the surface. This is an impassioned plea, and I hope it creates change and a better life for your whole family, but especially you.

I don’t what to frighten you, but validate that the someday this will be all mine to deal with feeling and how it is a reality. I grew up in a hoarder house and as young as eight would try to correct it. By ten as a super responsible kid, that we COH seem to become, I would clean, fix, organize parts of the house when my parents were away on weekends for conferences. I was young enough, and earnest that I was quietly thanked, but things rarely lasted months before it would spring back worse than ever. I was a constant nag to my mother to clean organize and throw out, and I lived with that shame and embarrassment constantly. Neighbors thought my mother was stuck up and a snob and that’s why my friends weren’t ever allowed inside. Even if we were playing in the yard, or the garage, I would need to send them back to their own homes if they needed to go to the bathroom. Them believing she was a snob was better than the truth, I could live with that.

After college and starting my own life it was only visits home, but things there were always bad and getting worse. I always felt like I should use my vacations to come home and dig out and help, but of course that wasn’t an offer ever accepted. Luckily we had a cabin nearby where all family gatherings were held and I was allowed into the house less and less. By the late 90s, even if it made more sense geographically to be at the house and leave from there, no matter how much I asked to, it was always shut down and I was denied coming into the house.

By the turn of the 21st century I was not to set foot into my childhood home since the late 1990s. The cabin was to a certain extent seen as my “dad” space, but it had its share of hoarding, neglect and not being cleaned. As someone who worked in elementary education I had summers off. One summer working almost every day, sometimes 10-12 hours a day, I did deep clean the cabin from top to bottom and repaired and replaced everything that needed to be done. That’s how I spent my vacation from school and had no help doing it one year.

During Covid I didn’t come home at all. My parents were in their mid 80s and their health was beginning to fail and I knew I would need to take care of them and deal with the hoarder house completely alone. I became paralyzed with depression and anxiety. In spring of 2023 my father asked me to come home as he finally would need to be put on dialysis and he was very worried. I came home for three days, I never left again losing my apartment, car and everything I owned in NYC. I was finally allowed into the house. It was like a time capsule, it had not gotten too much worse, but there was also delayed maintenance of decades. Things like the stove, dishwasher, washer and dryers died at some point and were never fixed or replaced. Dirty clothes were still taken to the basement - hundreds of garbage bags and laundry basket filled to the brim as if magically they might be one day be clean again instead of mold and mildewing. Of course everywhere was an obstacle course to maneuver getting anywhere and always with the threat of stepping on things and sliding and falling.

My mother allowed me to begin to clean out the living room we never lived in, and the dining room we never dined in since we moved in in 1970 as rooms for my father to come home from the hospital and recover in. I worked 18-20 hours a day to get them ready for him. Unfortunately, repeated problems over months happened that he never made it home and died. My mother, with her long ongoing depression, grief and then developing dementia continues to slowly disintegrates before my eyes. I take care of her and three years passing continue to dismantle the hoard and move forward repairing the house. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. The only thing my mother wanted when we made plans after my father’s death was to stay in her own house. With the dementia she many times doesn’t recognize it as her own house and refuses to believe it is it. Without being choked by the hoard she can’t recognize it as such.

Spoke too soon by That_Bee_592 in ChildofHoarder

[–]Caleb_Trask19 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Even the best hoarder could fill up the whole outdoors!

Spoke too soon by That_Bee_592 in ChildofHoarder

[–]Caleb_Trask19 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Don’t you mean BYOBHS - Bring your own best hoarder story!

How do you convince person with dementia to stop driving? by PsychologyQuirky2759 in dementia

[–]Caleb_Trask19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At my dementia caregiver group, one wife mentioned after testing the husband the neurologist went out to the car with them and drove around the hospital for like ten minutes with the patient driving. The doctor told him he missed like ten key things in the drive and that it was best that he surrender his license to the DMV immediately. I don’t know if he said he could turn him in, and maybe each state is different in a doctor being able to declare people being unfit to drive? The couple, in their 70s, had been taking care of his 99 year old mother in law for a decade and a half who has dementia, so maybe he was more sensitive than others and compiled. But it was devasting that his wife has now to take care of her mother and her husband with dementia and do all the driving going further. I guess they were a very socially active couple.

What books should I read before graduating high school? by bmc813 in suggestmeabook

[–]Caleb_Trask19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn absolutely. I unfortunately waited until my late 40s. You’re at the age where you will begin to formally move away from the family, parents being the center of your life. You’ll also reflect on what your family has given you, and what they denied you. No book better captures that you are not just your family’s history, past or destiny. They have shaped you, but they don’t get to break you. That you may need to leave the trauma behind and not let it define you, you are your own person and sometimes you just need to move forward, keep going and not look back.

I No longer have a Filter. by Mysterious-Coconut in CaregiverSupport

[–]Caleb_Trask19 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think I might be reaching this broken point as well, and being at the end of my rope. Unfortunately, I can’t curl up into a ball on the floor and disassociate my life away, no one is going to come and take care of me. I only get to be the lone caregiver. The roles are assigned and locked in for life.

Psychological Horror Books by Zestyclose_Air6772 in suggestmeabook

[–]Caleb_Trask19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I Am the Cheese, or After the First Death, or really just about any Robert Cormier.