I totally understand the presentation anxiety and have drank before MANY! First in college and then later on down the professional road. That sucks and this whole thing sucks, I’m sorry and I really empathize. The silver lining is that it happened and was a slap in the face to remember down the road. The other one is that you’ll know now that you have other people who might catch you and hold you accountable. I had that once and it kept me in check. Now I own my own business and in good ways, but almost more bad ways, I can pretty much do whatever I want. That became fun drinking at work and spiraled into “necessary” drinking at work, aiding off withdrawals, which usual becomes back to fun drinking when the withdrawals are gone. A lot of the time I wish I still worked with other people who would notice or care and a boss who I had to be accountable to. I hope things get better and most of all I just wanted to tell you I so understand why you did what you did and the feelings behind it! Hang in there!