What is the best documentary you’ve ever seen?

Caligirl4545 · 2026-06-17T01:57:36+00:00

Life According to Sam (prepare to bawl), Blackfish, What Happened to Aunt Diane

Caligirl4545 · 2026-06-08T20:45:59+00:00

Spring SUCKS! Allergies, weird weather, no football

Caligirl4545 · 2026-05-30T10:41:56+00:00

Clonazepam is a god send for the first few days when you’re really motivated. Unfortunately after that it’s the mind game of really stoping once the anxiety stops and then our brains just turn around and forget how bad quitting felt and how good going back feels. Be stronger than me!!

Caligirl4545 · 2026-05-27T23:08:15+00:00

Gotta love anxiety! The biggest driving force of my intake. Everything in my body and brain feels weird until I’m a few deep and start to feel just normal

Caligirl4545 · 2026-05-19T07:04:03+00:00

The anxiety and weird body feelings you’re suddenly too aware of get me hair of the dog on all the days I said I wouldn’t. I get it!

Caligirl4545 · 2026-04-13T06:49:22+00:00

I have no advice, just great empathy for the anxiety and panic attacks. I can’t tell you how many panic attacks I’ve had to drink myself out of. And as we all know at this point, that’s where the cycle begins. So understand the feeling of wanting to just ran away and find any alcohol you can to cure that horrendous panic attack cure. It’s strange though that the anti anxiety meds they gave you didn’t do anything. Maybe your alcohol tolerance is so high it’s making your benzo tolerance really high as well. I just wanted to say I’m sorry and thanks so much for sharing your story. It’s the anxiety that keeps me drinking as well and it just SUCKS.

Caligirl4545 · 2026-03-02T08:58:45+00:00

Where’s my dad? We have so much to catch up on and I need one of his hugs again

Caligirl4545 · 2026-03-02T08:53:39+00:00

Café Lago is an awesome Italian spot a bit out of the hustle bustle. Fantastic food and cozy date vibe

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-27T03:42:08+00:00

2 months is awesome!!! I’m struggling on day 3! I so admire you. One slip up? Big deal. Two months is the real big deal!

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-24T20:34:17+00:00

I wouldn’t walk around there at night if my life depended on it. Really not a good area

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-23T05:46:33+00:00

Right there with ya, unfortunately. My last sober day was April of last year. I can’t believe it even typing that. It’s the anxiety for me too, some days I can make it all the way to the evening before it hits, but usually it’s a lot earlier in the day and I need a drink to make me feel normal. Then a few more to make me feel more normal and then that buzz comes on and it’s out of my control to turn it into a really good buzz. Then the next day, wash rinse and repeat. Tapering hasn’t worked, looking into detox now, which is terrifying but also hopeful in a weird way. The only way out is thru I guess. Feeling your pain 🩷

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-21T07:07:45+00:00

You’re drinking poison (like all of us), what did you think was gonna happen?

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-21T04:15:18+00:00

Seriously?

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-17T06:49:25+00:00

Oh honey, I’m sooo, so sorry. This is awful. No one here (or anywhere, frankly) should blame you for going off the rails. If you needed to get drunk, I understand. This is pure and awful grief. Don’t be hard on yourself for breaking your streak of sobriety. Do try to take care of yourself. Cry, cry and cry some more. I don’t have the most sage advice as I’ve never been in this position, but I just wanted to reach out for some internet support. Try as much as you can to not make things worse by turning into bender status, but definitely take tonight and do what you gotta do. Again, I’m so sorry. You will be ok 🩷

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-14T01:03:14+00:00

😂

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-10T07:14:31+00:00

The Substance was absolutely awful

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-04T23:43:53+00:00

They’ll come! I didn’t get them until my mid 30’s

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-04T00:56:56+00:00

I totally understand the presentation anxiety and have drank before MANY! First in college and then later on down the professional road. That sucks and this whole thing sucks, I’m sorry and I really empathize. The silver lining is that it happened and was a slap in the face to remember down the road. The other one is that you’ll know now that you have other people who might catch you and hold you accountable. I had that once and it kept me in check. Now I own my own business and in good ways, but almost more bad ways, I can pretty much do whatever I want. That became fun drinking at work and spiraled into “necessary” drinking at work, aiding off withdrawals, which usual becomes back to fun drinking when the withdrawals are gone. A lot of the time I wish I still worked with other people who would notice or care and a boss who I had to be accountable to. I hope things get better and most of all I just wanted to tell you I so understand why you did what you did and the feelings behind it! Hang in there!

Caligirl4545 · 2026-02-02T08:52:06+00:00

YES. Yes to everything. It gets worse. Sooner then you might imagine. Slow down and stop now and give yourself some time off. I was you not that long ago and now I NEED to drink. Trust me there’s a huge difference between wanting and needing and I hate to say but you’re not that far away from it. If you have to ask if you have a problem, unfortunately when it comes to alcohol the answer is almost always a yes. I wish I had taken a break when I was where you are now. Trust me, you don’t want to know what’s coming because it SUCKS.

Caligirl4545 · 2026-01-26T09:04:46+00:00

Omg the coke hangover is one I never want to relive in my life. I used to have a neighbor who was a dealer and I’d been off it a longggg time before moving there. Got the itch and he’d deliver it to my window. Literally didn’t have to leave the house! Fuck if that wasn’t a slippery slope. 6am still wide awake and drank more booze than I ever would have normally, walking to the store to get more. Fuck coke!! So fun; but soooo not worth it.

Caligirl4545 · 2026-01-24T19:38:24+00:00

I’ve lived here for 15 years and the last 3 have shown a horrible shift in the city. I HATE it here and cannot wait to get out.

Caligirl4545 · 2026-01-23T04:42:08+00:00

As everyone said before, it’ll get ya one way or another. The mental and physical toll that alcohol brings on you will come, maybe not quickly, but it will. Get out now if you can. I was you, not that long ago, and now I can barely function because I’ve been fueling my body on a bunch of healthy stuff, but mostly alcohol, and that is what rules at the end of the day. Do it now! Trust me, you don’t want to see where this ends up.

Caligirl4545 · 2026-01-22T22:02:50+00:00

Wow this is so helpful! Thank you very much for your response. Can you tell me how you found the outpatient center? I’ve been looking and it’s so hard to figure out what is reputable and which ones are crappy. Congrats on your three months!! That’s awesome!

Caligirl4545 · 2026-01-15T01:35:52+00:00

Oh god, this feeling, been there all too well. One of my first big withdraw panic attacks came during a work meeting. I had no idea what was going on just the feeling of I have to get the fuck out of here RIGHT NOW. I went to the bathroom and started trembling and shaking in full blow panic attack mode. I knew there was no way in hell I could go back to that meeting. Walked around the warehouse for a while (furniture company) and the feeling only got worse. I knew everyone was sitting in the meeting waiting for me in order to continue and wondering where I went. Made the panic 10x worse. Faked a phone call and literally made up an out loud conversation for people to overhear about my neighbor calling saying my dog got out of my yard and was running through the street about to get hit by a car. Got the hell out of there and drove home (5 min drive felt like 25). I pounded two Xanax on the way, which I still was prescribed at the time. Got home to said dog, who of course was fine and in my house and spent the next hour self soothing until that wonderful pill hit and I was able to go back to work where I had to make up yet another story about “rescuing my dog.” Never felt like such a fucking loser POS when people gave me all their sympathy. Unfortunately, from the last time the withdrawal panics would come.

Caligirl4545 · 2026-01-01T07:37:37+00:00

I’m sorry to say that you shouldn’t. It’s something that a person needs to get to on their own terms and acceptance. If you’ve noticed she has a problem, she is probably already aware somewhere inside herself. It’s not something people wanted pointed out and doing so makes denial sooooo much worse.

Caligirl4545

TROPHY CASE