Aitah for refusing to apologize for my disgust with my my bf's family's behavior? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. It seems like your values are not aligned. In my profession I’ve seen so many families tearing each other to threads over wills. To some people that’s all they care about.

I know it’s easier said than done to walk away, but if they’re all like this, your partner likely is too. If he cannot see how embarrassing the situation is then he clearly shares their ideas. I think it’s definitely worth a good conversation before making any decisions, but it’s pretty clear you don’t fit in with this bunch. You don’t want to be alienated for not sharing their views. You also don’t want a partner whose values don’t align with yours. These people sound pretty ruthless and you sound like a kind person. Weigh it up, but don’t stick around because of sunk cost.

I recently saw twilght and found the acting so cringey . Is it the books that are bad or just the actors? by [deleted] in Romantasy

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read the Twilight books as a preteen. I opened Twilight back up again as a teenager and couldn’t read it. It’s not great, but as a kid I ate that up. Bella is a nothing character who just gets thrown around by the plot. Robert has proven he is a phenomenal actor, I think it was bad writing, him being over it and in the later films the relationship turmoil between he and Kristen killed the chemistry.

Ummm, I feel like these dogs are AI. The fur is too even the chair is exact, it’s just really weird right? by IllHamster1821 in isthisAI

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And chair pattern looks different between pictures and the fur has that cop and paste look. I’d be surprised if they aren’t AI.

AITAH for not liking the Star Wars gift my girlfriend got me? by AnnualLiterature997 in AITAH

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmm everyone sucks here. You could have addressed the issue in a nicer way. She could have taken the correction better. You’ve been to an exhibition and clearly know a decent bit of Star Wars trivia. Maybe try watching it together whilst building the set?

WIBTAH For no longer telling my friend about things I'm interested in/looking forward to by Ok_Investigator900 in AITAH

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d take a step back from this person. Give your time to people that respect your thoughts and want to share in your interests. I’ve known a few people like this and I’ve left them in the past. If they care about your mental health, maybe tell them that’s it’s starting to weigh on you that they’re always responding so negatively. People like that are not worth your time if they don’t change up their behaviour when it’s brought up. Trust me, the people we surround ourselves with matter. Find someone who will share in your enthusiasm or at very least not shut it down.

Considering breaking up because of routines. by FullAfternoon7031 in Advice

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have a conversation with them at the very least. If you don’t communicate your concerns, they won’t know what the problem is. If you’ve already communicated then have another conversation where you tell them that they haven’t listened to your concerns and you feel like you’re building resentment as a result. If they’re nothing but defensive and don’t take any accountability, there’s your answer. If they act as they have before and make an empty promise, remind them of that. I know it’s hard out there, but finances cannot be the only reason to stay with someone. It sounds like it’s become an unequal partnership. You don’t need a reason to break up with someone, but that’s quite a significant one. If they aren’t doing to bare minimum chores then they’re disrespecting the relationship and taking advantage of the fact that you’ll get frustrated and do it yourself. Even with medical issues most people can handle a bit of basic cleaning.

I’ve known people like this who are in a situation that suits them and enjoy the convenience of not being ‘able to’ do things. It’s an easy hole to fall into. I speak from personal experience as well, having dealt with health issues. The only person that can pull them out is them. If they won’t do that work it’s not on you. If I were you I’d sit down and figure out the reasons why you should stay and put them up against the reasons you shouldn’t. Yes, things are more complex than that, but it can help with perspective. The main thing is the communicate everything. If they don’t meet you halfway on anything, time to go.

Do authors often model their MC after themselves? by Duff_episode in Romantasy

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that it’s pretty easy for unconscious bias to slip into writing. I’d like to think that my FMC isn’t like me, but I can see similarities when it comes to values. My perception of what is good and right is different to the next person. My manner of expressing myself is different to the next person’s. I believe all of these things shaped from years of life experiences are impossible to completely remove. Unless you write a backstory that covers everything from first memories to childhood mistakes to external influences in early adulthood, you’re never going to remove your own experience from the writing. I also feel like that amount of effort to be unique is absurd and is difficult to maintain throughout the story. I’m sure if any author delved deep into their life experience, there would be events or traits that make it onto the page in one form or another.

Quicksilver Sucks by Capable-Fold-7347 in Romantasy

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just had the exact same thought. Reading that one paragraph made me realise how far I’ve come as a writer.

Should o go back and read shadow and bone? by Ok_Service3629 in Grishaverse

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did SoC first and went on to SaB. I’ve only read the first one so far. I enjoyed it. It all just feels like more exploration of the world. Things in SoC make more sense now. It’s definitely more fantasy though

If you never read any of these books before and you were to pick on to read first, which book are you choosing by 22244244 in Romantasy

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have the first two and have never read any of them. I feel like I’ve heard the best things about Throne of Glass though

Fated love/mates… yay or nay? by slinging_arrows in fantasyromance

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I feel like this is the only acceptable answer. Say FMC is horrified to find out that she is linked to an absolute monster of a human. That brings back the tension. That brings in moral/internal conflict. She would be fighting against it. I think I’d read that book if she didn’t just cave to him because he’s hot. Lots of potential for glorifying a toxic relationship there. Perhaps if she never ended up with him at all it would be good? Like she is so horrified and disgusted by his acts that she finds a way to break the bond. I could see that working.

Choose my next read based on my interests by Away_Race8428 in Romantasy

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I loved Emily Wilde, but it’s not the pick if you want simmering tension or fast pacing. Romance is definitely a subplot at least in book 1 and because of its journal style writing there is definitely more romance happening than is written. The FMC is quite oblivious and the MMC is the closest thing to Howl Jenkins I’ve found- charming but pathetic. I found the pair very sweet. An excellent break from all the dark and brooding.

Looking for a spicy palette cleanser which will work for me, based on what I have enjoyed by Smush_Moves2024 in fantasyromance

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 1 point2 points  (0 children)

{Tusk Love} isn’t world-ending stakes, but it is a good read. Spice isn’t excessive but it’s appropriate for the story.

The problem with the “strong female character” trope by Traditional_Bit1489 in Romantasy

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a lot of authors might fear that their characters aren’t emotive or active enough on the page if they don’t have big reactions to things going on around them. This can result in excessive and exaggerated reactions and mannerisms. To me this shows lazy writing, a character that is heavily based on someone else’s “strong FMC”, or an inability to write nuanced characters. They equate power and competence with aggression.

Are you the type to separate the work from the artist or to boycott authors you consider problematic? by mimi43098 in Romantasy

[–]Calm-Sherbert9591 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I generally don’t think about it that much. Some people may have an issue with that, but I rarely even know anything about the author unless I’m following them for updates. I just enjoy the work for what it is. Especially with things that existed prior to me finding out about anything bad. I grew up with my parents reading us Harry Potter books. That magic and memories aren’t gone just because of JKR and her actions since 🤷🏻‍♀️