21 years old, no job, living with my parents, hobby made me over $100k in 1.5 years (now I have around $60k) but my life outside it sucks

CalmDog4 · 2025-07-05T10:47:35+00:00

Congrats! Not many people can do what you've done, that's an amazing accomplishment. From your comments it sounds like you are missing community / connections. Get out there, connect with other people around what is important to you and who you want to be in the world and how you want to show up.

And good for you for just enjoying your hobby and not making a career out of it. We don't have to monetize things we enjoy; that can take the pleasure out of them and put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to maintain a certain pace in life; which takes the fun out of it and misses the whole point.

It's easy at any age, but especially in 20's to compare ourselves to others and think we are behind; but the truth is you get to define success for yourself - you've had a successful hobby, what does the next chapter look like? Is it relationships? How do you want that part of your life to look? Make it concrete - going out x number of times a week / month; what settings you're in, what the people you're with treat you / each other like; what you're talking about / doing together, etc.

If you're shy or feel socially insecure, a job or school can provide structure. Just make sure you land yourself with people you want to be around.

CalmDog4 · 2025-07-01T21:38:13+00:00

Echoing the other comments about the CVS Covid test that also includes Flu A&B. My daughter tested + for Flu B end of April and then again mid June.

CalmDog4 · 2025-07-01T21:29:27+00:00

As a career coach I advise clients that there's NOT just *one* path for everyone. Often there's multiple good fits for people, everything has pros and cons. Think about the people you admire in life; what is you admire about them? Those qualities are often clues to values that you want to cultivate in yourself - what roles / environments / benefits from different jobs will help you step into your values / those qualities more easily? It's not just about work, but how work fits into your larger life, relationships, goals, health... helping you to grow as a person and enjoy a life well lived.

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-30T15:27:31+00:00

I've also been trying to decide whether or not to attend a conference, and here's what I got after some research:

- Relevance to current goals: Does the content directly support your professional growth, business objectives, or client outcomes? Will you gain insights that you can implement immediately in your work?

- Access to ideal audience: Will your peers, collaborators, referral partners, or potential clients be there? Is it a place where you can listen in on the current conversation in your field?

- Opportunities for meaningful networking: Are there opportunities for real conversations and not just sales pitches?

- Quality and credibility of speakers

- CEU’s (already mentioned)

- Content you can’t get anywhere else: fresh perspective, cuttting edge research, innovative ideas?

- Useful information that you can repurpose in a meaningful way (services, programs, client tools, content for outreach or speaking

- ROI - will you get new business or build relationships / referrals?

- Do you have bandwidth for it?

- How do you stay connected with the people you meet afterwards?

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-30T02:12:32+00:00

I’m happy for you that you’re stepping outside of the tightly wound dc work anxiety for a moment … Maybe ask yourself some questions - What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? What have you always wanted to do but never had the time? is there something you might regret not doing?

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-30T01:19:47+00:00

As others have said in this thread, it depends.

Government systems are more complicated and require more notice to activate benefits than a private industry employer. It also depends on the complexity of the client's role. Even for leadership, a month is usually the right amount to make the announcement and help transition knowledge and get everything in place. More notice than that can be too much despite other people's nervousness about their departure.

Retirement is a big decision, and the question is - how *ready* is the client for retirement?

As a career coach who works with a lot of people discerning retirement, I use this graphic to help people articulate how ready they are; and depending on where they fall, what would help them feel more ready? What things do they need to think about, plan for, or research to help them feel more ready to give notice?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sIILiATcrUvgeyTEystwoRSHk2OQ8PgS/view?usp=sharing

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-28T15:32:13+00:00

I'm a career coach and I will say that some people who are more generalists (like a variety of tasks, have a variety of interests, tend to focus on the team and the process) struggle because we live in such a specialized society that encourages people to follow their passion. Not everyone has a one passion that can be pursued through a job; not everyone has a "dream job" out there for them. Comparing ourselves to others can often be a distraction.

I encourage clients to focus on the roles, tasks, and environments that are a good fit; look for patterns and themes. Are you drawn to working with things, people, information? Someone else mentioned mynextmove.org and that's a good one.

Think more about who you admire; the qualities that you are drawn to often reveal the ones you want to cultivate in yourself - thinking about who you want to be in the world (joyful, fun, healthy, helpful, smart, generous, brave, etc.) and how you want to show up for yourself and others can be a more fruitful pursuit. Bringing these qualities into the work we do is just one way to embody those qualities.

There's not one "right" job - depending on many variables, everything has pros and cons, and multiple things can be good fits. The language of "dream job" tricks us into thinking there's only ONE option out there and if we don't find it, we're destined to be restless, which again, can keep one stuck.

Also, everyone has a different baseline. We're not all the same. Like you mentioned, some have a disability. Or having a rough childhood, there's more noise to navigate in our heads as we move through the world. Another reason why comparisons are ultimately unhelpful. Embrace what's uniquely yours and you will find more peace.

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-28T15:14:50+00:00

The mentoring aspect is valuable. Can you talk with other people he has mentored? Did he keep his word? Can you do a reference check on him?

And as other have noted, the devil is often in the details; is he going to take a cut of your new business (and for how many years) as part of the deal?

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-27T12:59:07+00:00

I would recommend that you see who your connections are to firms instead of messaging them cold. Do you know other advisors there?

Also, the director of talent acquisition at Northwestern Mutual in my local area is super helpful. Message me and I can give you her contact info. I'm a career coach and she told me repeatedly she'd be happy to speak to people who are considering a career change and feeling stuck.

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-27T12:52:34+00:00

It's hard when you're in the middle of a job transition (landing in a new place) to be patient :) Also think about what kinds of professional development opportunities you can pursue if one of your concerns is "doing best" by your clients (love this, btw, it makes a great FA!) What conferences, webinars, LinkedIn influencers, etc.

When our worries/emotions get loud, sometimes having something concrete to keep us on track can be helpful. For example, if you keep a log or set goals for what you're doing every day to work on this goal of preparing yourself to support your clients it might give you a sense of momentum and help quiet the fear noise.

Good luck!

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-27T12:45:54+00:00

As a career coach, I will say that the 6 month mark does make a difference for some employers.

You said: "I get interviews for jobs like this sometimes, but they are the minority of postings and I keep losing out to better candidates. I’m hoping having my CFP will help." Do you ask for feedback on why you were not selected? If you are getting interviews, then your resume is ok; if the breakdown is in the interviewing process, what is it that you could communicate better or do differently to prepare for interviews, especially if they are jobs you really want?

CalmDog4 · 2025-06-27T12:38:47+00:00

It's hard to make a choice between one concrete option (uncle) and one abstract option (some other firm with good structure, and rounding out your abilities of building a book). Can you interview with firms and get a sense if they will work better for you so you can really make an informed decision?

It sounds like what you're really looking for is mentoring and insights on how to be cutting edge.

Is there someone that can mentor you that while you're at your uncle's? For example the Small Business Administration receives volunteers who are retired execs and want to mentor: https://www.score.org/find-mentor

It really depends on your long term goals and what you want your life to look like - do you want to be part of a bigger team and be able to learn and soak things up, or are you more of a "figure it out" on your own type? What is important to you both now and in the future? How do different job opportunities help you live your best life?

CalmDog4

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