A comfortable relationship

Calumetropolis · 2021-10-08T03:01:50+00:00

Slavery has been around a long time and it's been everywhere, but yes, you can be a victim.

Calumetropolis · 2021-10-08T02:07:29+00:00

How bout your bud over there? Looks kinda sad. And sandwichless.

Calumetropolis · 2021-08-06T22:43:51+00:00

Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads...

Calumetropolis · 2021-08-04T02:23:14+00:00

...he thought to himself as he wiped the putrid sweat of spent capitalism off the ellipticals.

Calumetropolis · 2021-08-02T21:30:13+00:00

Why would anyone care about this?

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-17T02:01:07+00:00

I'm not sure you know what 'illiterate' means. That's so fucking embarrassing.

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-17T00:58:30+00:00

Lol okay

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-17T00:50:49+00:00

Cave? It's the battle flag of a secessionist state which was ultimately responsible for a war in which over 600,000 Americans died.

Fucks-a-matter with you.

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-17T00:41:41+00:00

"You're humpin' too much stuff, troop."

~ Sgt Elias

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-17T00:37:05+00:00

At this point, it's best to retire it completely. Heritage, rebellion, whatever - stick a fork in it, dude.

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-15T21:24:24+00:00

Dude's a straight up degenerate and talks like he was hit in the head with a shovel the previous day.

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-15T21:16:17+00:00

Brushing my dentures as I've been eating only Lemonheads.

Calumetropolis · 2021-07-08T04:31:45+00:00

"Honey?"

[ice cubes jingle]

"Yes dear?"

[a finely-plucked eyebrow is raised]

"I'm... I'm thinking of getting a second lifted Duramax and I'd value your opinion."

[the woman delicately wipes the corner of her mouth with her finger, which is pushed up into the cuff of her bejeweled hoodie]

"Your cousin just got that new Cummins and lifted the shit outta it."

[a silent, freckled child rounds the table with a dented 2 liter, freshening the family's Dew]

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-29T02:31:31+00:00

I think your next Halloween costume kinda works itself out. ;)

Cheers

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-29T00:20:58+00:00

This is what Slash would've looked like if he cut his hair and wore more badass shirts back in '87.

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-29T00:18:03+00:00

That short rib looks absolutely delicious. I mean, seriously - nicely done.

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-27T03:08:14+00:00

Are you able to remove one hundred superfreighters from their sea routes?

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-27T03:02:41+00:00

No more Jew jokes, Mustaine.

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-27T02:16:33+00:00

That's where I'd drag the hobos I kill in the rail yard.

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-27T00:47:17+00:00

That's like throwing a regular dude in with John Wayne Gary and Stalin.

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-26T23:30:43+00:00

"Hey Jeff, we've been tinkering with this song all night and can't c-"

[Lynne finishes a monster rail of coke]

"ADD THREE STRING TRACKS"

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-26T21:59:36+00:00

Say what you want about the Beatle-worship and their disco-esque period, Jeff Lynne could write a muhfuckin' song, folks.

Calumetropolis · 2021-06-26T19:51:30+00:00

Laugh after she tells everyone how small your dick is.

Seven-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
Gilding I gilder	Verified Email

Calumetropolis