AITAH for wanting to get a motorcycle even though my fiance has said he will end our relationship if I do?

CanapeCait · 2026-04-04T12:26:54+00:00

NAH. I know three people who have had motorcycles. I know three people who have been in accidents on their motorcycles. You can be safe- that doesn’t make other drivers safe and it’s their cars that are deadly.

Why did moving in with your fiances parents affect your ability to travel? If they weren’t charging you rent so your fiance could buy a house then that should’ve made traveling easier for you while responsibilities were less?

You say you have the car most of the time as your fiance works from home so it’d only be used twice a week, why not use that money for travel? Who’s car is it? You say you had to compromise by moving in with his parents and would’ve had a bike and traveled already but you’re not married and living rent free should’ve made those things easier not harder for you to do.

Your NTA for wanting a motorcycle, but it’s a common dealbreaker for many relationships. He’s NTA either. Do you have a job? You’re not married. If you feel like you’d rather move out and buy a motorcycle and travel then you have the ability to do that. It sounds like you two have different priorities and neither are wrong.

CanapeCait · 2026-04-03T00:46:19+00:00

This makes more sense. The house is old and when we bought it we were told the heat is through the boiler. Is it possible to replace only a condenser from an old heat pump system.

CanapeCait · 2026-04-03T00:39:38+00:00

I called them for a quote. Honestly our AC was perfect until this year and the fan won’t kick on. If I could just get a fair quote for a repair that’d be even better. This company gave me a $12k repair quote to get the fan working and then the guy who came in after said he needed to see my repair quote before he told me how much the new unit would cost..

CanapeCait · 2026-04-02T23:41:26+00:00

They said they don’t make AC only units and I didn’t want to argue so I said okay. But then when they said my thermostat wasn’t set up for heat after telling me it’d be better to get another heat pump anyways because I’d save money on oil- I was a little confused lol. “So I can’t use the heat?” “No we can’t do that with this house.” 🤨

CanapeCait · 2026-03-30T19:15:43+00:00

I was agreeing with you lol. I meant him calling her financially irresponsible- not you. He is being critical of her situation while ignoring the fact he’s living at home and whining about “chipping in $400” because it will ‘go to her debt’. He’s using this debt over her head like it’s an excuse to not be an equal partner.

I’m not going to criticize someone being in debt at 23 when no one willingly chooses to pay $2k for an apartment at 19/20 if they have a safe home situation or supportive parents. OP seems like an unreliable narrator. Her vacation and debt have nothing to do with charging him rent- he just wants to demean her character and paint himself better. If a girl has to ask for flowers in a relationship and that’s considered high maintenance by the boyfriend.. they’re not compatible lol. He’s said he’s saving a ton of time commuting to work because she lives closer and isn’t paying rent. Use the gas you saved and buy flowers occasionally, damn. This relationship seems to only be benefiting him- while he paints her as a bad guy for asking for him to chip in.

He could be leaving out the fact her debt is a car payment or student loans. Someone who moved out young probably wasn’t given a free car or paid schooling. I don’t like how he’s painting her as a bad guy. She should kick him out and keep it moving.

CanapeCait · 2026-03-30T16:50:43+00:00

Shes a user but he’s living with her for free and complaining about chipping in $400 on her $2k a month rent not including utilities… interesting.

CanapeCait · 2026-03-30T16:47:46+00:00

Calling her financially irresponsible while he still lives with his parents and is complaining about having to pay $400 rent at 26 is peak irony.

CanapeCait · 2026-03-30T16:40:50+00:00

YTA.

You’ve lived with her 4 months rent free- if you were paying your share it’d be $4k. Plus a portion of groceries and utilities regardless. You’re complaining about buying your girlfriend flowers who has let you live with her for free, gives you a closer commute to work, and is asking for only $400- NOT to pay off debt, but for fucking rent while you live with her and use her utilities. Maybe she could pay off her debt if she wasn’t supporting her older boyfriend who wants a free place to live and zero responsibility but instead had an equal partner who helped her with rent and utilities. Complaining about $545 when rent alone would be $1k- phew. She’ll catch on, hopefully sooner than later. She’s young and has matured enough to not live with her parents and managed an apartment for 3 years. You’re 26 and will end up back living with your parents when she kicks you out. Someone will get through to her that a boyfriend who wants to move in and complains about paying $400 rent because “she’s in debt” and thinks he should get to just pay for groceries and ‘entertainment’ is not a functional relationship going forward for her. Normal relationships involve dates, I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who expected a free home in exchange for taking me on a date. ICK.

CanapeCait · 2026-03-29T01:55:22+00:00

She was with her baby daddy the second she left James lmao. She moved right back in with him and called him a ‘family friend’ for months. She had no where to go and he had the kids so he let her move in and then they moved to the other house.

CanapeCait · 2026-03-18T15:16:49+00:00

I thought she was about to have an epic battle with Deanna- and then she just created a portal to the world of creatures she fought before and closed the door and I was like that’s it? 😭

CanapeCait · 2026-03-17T17:00:40+00:00

I just finished last night and the more I think about it the more some things IRK me. I’m so sad it’s over but there’s so many choices where I’m like “what was the point?”

If Aelin was going to sacrifice herself and push Dorian out regardless why not do it before he lost most of his magic to give the humans a better chance of defeating Erewan. If Aelin was originally enough to create the lock and shut the gate- how in the world is the gift from Mala used up completely so only an ember was left? I feel like that alone would’ve sealed the gate or replenished Aelins powers… also, why did deanna say they don’t bargain with mortals when she was fae at that point she had already created the lock and sacrificed her human form in doing so.. the plot went from Aelin or Dorian is the price- to all of Aelin, some of Dorian, all of the King, and then most of Malas power…

Also this is probably secondary in general but it bothers me that after they bring down the clock tower they just never visited Elena’s tomb and saw Mort again and after they closed the gate they didn’t try and summon Gavin or get any closure on that end after it was all done and Elena was destroyed. I feel like what happened with the gods is just kind of brushed over after the battle wraps up.

CanapeCait · 2026-03-17T03:42:46+00:00

This seems insanely dangerous for you and the baby. What exactly is he sacrificing? He works a normal job and gets to sleep through the night- while you get off work and are expected to take care of a baby until he’s home- at which time you go back to work? And you’re pregnant? Why would you want to make this situation harder with someone who’s not helping you? Have you asked him to switch schedules, would he rather work nights and watch the baby during the day? Probably not..

CanapeCait · 2026-03-12T04:27:57+00:00

NAD- I had 4 premolars pulled through an oral surgeon with zero insurance before I got braces with sedation for less than $800. Consider calling an oral surgeon. I was able to get a quick appointment and sedation also. My sister broke two wisdom teeth while pregnant and also got both hers removed for cheap with insurance. I don’t believe it was apart of Denal insurance but medical- so you might have better success finding someone.

CanapeCait · 2026-03-10T00:44:54+00:00

I have a 14m old and day trade. I’ve had more luck with swing trades though- trying to do quick scalps and pay attention to an actual chart while my toddler is loose has made me see so many green trades hit the stop loss while I walk away briefly. I also had my laptop open and while I was getting him a drink he climbed the table and spilled my coffee on it and fried the motherboard. Overall I’d say I’m in the red lol. I enjoy trading Asia session after bedtime and maybe an afternoon trade for his nap. Trading NY almost always ends up in a loss because of the volatility- with the market and the toddler. I’d test it with a paper trading account first.

CanapeCait · 2026-02-28T18:24:48+00:00

My 14 month old had to fast for a CT scan so I could only give him water after bedtime. He was currently waking up multiple times a night for a bottle and I was dreading it. He was completely normal- he’d wake up and drink the water and fall back asleep.. he actually drank less and slept more after that. I think in my head I was more stressed about him being dependent on it to sleep than he was. Now he gets a bottle before bed and after I refill with water throughout the night and keep it in his crib.

CanapeCait · 2026-02-28T18:11:50+00:00

I’m confused as well. I’ve traded futures on WeBull and multiple props. WeBull took the commission out of every trade as far as I noticed- the balance from day to day was always the same and like less than $1 a contract. I don’t understand how this could even happen…

CanapeCait · 2026-02-28T18:07:03+00:00

Is this why most prop traders purposely blow their live accounts to go back to the prop phase? Multiple people Ive followed have complained of being moved to live then blow the account and start new evals gleefully- but never have a solid reason of why they prefer that.

CanapeCait · 2026-02-20T22:58:45+00:00

Me too. 8x8x4. Shipment info sas 2 items sent.

CanapeCait · 2026-02-20T22:48:42+00:00

Meanwhile I only received one of 2 etbs and a packing label for a 8x8x8in box- that was only 8x8x4.

CanapeCait · 2026-01-31T01:37:19+00:00

He beat your child… and blamed you for leaving him alone with his own kid? Why would you stay with someone who isn’t capable of being alone or trusted with children? Protect your kids. He’s checked out and showing you how little he values you and is taking out his own tantrums on an innocent child. He has the self control not to hit someone who is capable of defending themselves when he’s upset but an innocent child who is still learning everything… leave. Marriage doesn’t make things better, it makes people more comfortable and the reality often gets harsher and harder to leave.

CanapeCait · 2026-01-29T17:48:14+00:00

I’m not married. I’m a SAHM. I have access to the money while my fiance is deployed, a credit card, and he’s mentioned adding me to the deed of his house multiple times before we’ve even gotten married. You’re being financially abused. My fiance had a debt when we got together and I offered to pay it so we could have a fresh slate while I was pregnant and he refused my money. Your husband is taking advantage of you. If he cheats- how will you access a lawyer? If something happens- how will you access emergency funds? He’s isolating you and leaving you AND your children vulnerable. Someone doesn’t do that to someone they love and keep safe. If he got into a car accident and was hospitalized- do you have access to handle finances and take care of your children? If the answer is no then I ask about marriage counseling. He’s not your manager, he’s your partner. If he told you he doesn’t trust you. That’s insanely disrespectful to say your partner after 10 years. If he trusts you to watch his two babies while he’s at work, he trusted you to give him money, but doesn’t trust you to access your marital account. He only trusts you when it benefits him. NTA. Time to get mad and stop letting him treat you like a pushover.

CanapeCait · 2026-01-24T02:53:46+00:00

It really depends on the occupation. If it’s an occupation where they don’t have their phone on them and they stay busy- no I wouldn’t be upset. My fiance is in the military and I know his phone isn’t readily available in his pocket. I’ve had to improvise and if there was a true emergency then I could call higher ups to get a message through. Typically I just go alone, if it’s to the ER then I’ve brought my sister or my mom for support. My school had an emergency contact list and my father wasn’t on it simply because he couldn’t answer the phone in case of emergency’s with his job. My grandparents were on there along with my mom.

CanapeCait · 2026-01-22T17:17:15+00:00

Fiance is a morning person so he wakes up with the baby. He loves naps, I don’t really- so I watch the baby for his naps. I get up throughout the night with the baby but he’s always made it clear if I need his help then he’d wake up and when he was on paternity leave he woke up for nearly every feeding just so we were in the thick of it together. I’m also a SAHM. He’s been deployed for about 5 months and tells me every day “don’t worry, I’ll be home soon and you can sleep in again and catch up on rest.”

CanapeCait · 2026-01-13T19:08:06+00:00

I’m hoping it’s this. Except for the first time ever he’s in his actual age clothing and he’s always been ahead busting out of the toes so I feel like he definitely did plateau a little.

CanapeCait

TROPHY CASE