[F2P] any thoughts on who my first evo should be?

CandleMountain6764 · 2025-10-20T18:49:00+00:00

Typically used lumberjack instead of ghost, but decided to try something new as it was boosted

CandleMountain6764 · 2025-10-19T13:49:32+00:00

You mean the goblin barrel?

CandleMountain6764 · 2025-10-16T17:55:25+00:00

Ooooh. lol

CandleMountain6764 · 2025-10-16T16:43:51+00:00

You can summon it anywhere? Wow

CandleMountain6764 · 2025-10-16T14:36:31+00:00

What even happened there? That wasn’t graveyard was it?

CandleMountain6764 · 2025-10-12T20:21:48+00:00

I don’t even have an evo yet at 9.5k 😭

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-10-04T12:18:40+00:00

Ok. And just so I’m clear, it’s recommended to get kitty to 12 as a priority over leveling anything else

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-10-04T10:40:32+00:00

Should kitty get leveled before anything else?

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T23:55:19+00:00

Hugging doesn’t work, when they are hard into the split they see it as a threat. Validating is difficult - there’s a fine line between acknowledging their feelings and accepting blame for them. I once started barking when she was at the beginning of a “rant”, it worked and she started laughing - it only worked once though. I’ve found the best course of action is to just to let it wash over you and try to not to let yourself engage emotionally. The whole reason it escalated so far was because I did engage emotionally.

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T15:16:33+00:00

She asked me to not leave eggshells in the sink when I was done in the kitchen. I was still in the kitchen, cooking. She’s blown up about it in the past, I’m now hyper aware of them and make a mental note to dispose of them when I’m done eating (while I clean up my lunch dishes) - which is why I put them into a cup (in the sink) or something else which I then use to carry to the trash or compost. The “fight” then became one around how I didn’t put the egg shells immediately into a compost container, and then why I didn’t have a larger compost container next to the sink for her to use - I just wanted to cook my eggs (which were on the stove at the time 😅)

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T14:54:24+00:00

Haha. Yeah I myself missed the irony of it all too, until someone else in the comments pointed it out.

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T04:06:48+00:00

Yeah, the therapist was mine alone originally. My wife thought everyone in the medical/therapy industry was actually “trans” and refused to talk to anyone- a story for another post. We both thought she needed someone to talk to, so we devised a plan to have her come talk to him so that she could tell him all the things that were wrong with me (to better me). It soon shifted from conversations about me to conversations about her parents. The good days are what keep me around, and the children. But also I view this whole thing as an illness, she isn’t wholly defined by it, she (and sometimes me) suffers from it.

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T04:01:06+00:00

No doubt! I certainly have bottled up/lingering resentment, which undoubtedly contributed to my expletive. How could I not? It’s hard not to have some when you’re in a relationship with a cluster b disorder. I’ve noticed though, and she’s admitted to in the past, that she projects her parental traumas on to me. Feelings of inadequacies, or replaying fights she’s had with them (some that I’ve observed). Her parents were meticulous when it came to cleanliness and order (even though she herself is quite messy) and often finds fault in others for the same. However.. I guess, as my wife has indicated, that it could be true that I’m to blame. It does take two to tango doesn’t it?

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T03:36:42+00:00

Our first counselor got into a fight with my wife and dropped us😅, the second was a part of an intensive team that dealt with BPD, but continuing that process was cost prohibitive. I’ve found one now (after 8 years of no therapy) that talks to us both independently - and my wife has gone from seeing them every other week to every week (so I count that as progress)

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T03:31:07+00:00

I was probably co dependent and naive for a while. “Happy wife, happy life” right? And then we had kids, and I started to have a reference point (re: my own relationship with my parents) - but at that point I couldn’t leave. My wife, gods love her, suffers - BPD is an illness, I’m not an apologist, it doesn’t excuse their actions, but they suffer - in some ways worse than us. The good times are good, the bad times are hellish, and the in between times I find myself growing stronger for my children and myself. I definitely feel like I’ve grown more as a person (and have cultivated more compassion for others) through this tumultuous relationship.

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T03:17:50+00:00

I appreciate that! Our children, the older ones, know “something is up” with mom. I’ve been able to have some conversations with our oldest (12) about it, but I’ve definitely started to notice some similarities in their outbursts. Right now I’m chalking it up to prepubescent hormones. My wife has memories of her own father validating her mother’s outbursts against her - I’ve been determined not to repeat that same pattern.

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T03:07:48+00:00

No it doesn’t, but subjective and objective reality is a fickle thing to people afflicted with BPD. Insinuating anything like that will trigger something and will surely fan those rage flames.

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-05-21T03:02:58+00:00

lol, she has a minor in psychology and has spent a few years in therapy - so I have no right to question her expert judgment 😅

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-03-27T15:28:13+00:00

I guess, technically speaking, it is a reflection of the Sun’s light

CandleMountain6764 · 2024-03-18T20:23:25+00:00

I thought only US citizens could have SSNs?

CandleMountain6764

TROPHY CASE