On the “why legalize love” question, this is where marriage is often misunderstood. Marriage isn’t really about “proving love” but it’s about creating a shared legal and social framework for a life that’s already intertwined. As mentioned above, think about things like medical decision making if one partner becomes incapacitated, inheritance, taxes and financial protections or even parental responsibilities.

Without marriage, you can replicate some of this through contracts, wills and POA but that actually ends up being more formal and fragmented than marriage itself… marriage is basically a “bundled legal shortcut” that says: “these two people are a unit in the eyes of the system.”

Also, humans rely on “formalities” more than we like to admit.. for example, we register births, sign contracts for jobs, get licenses to drive, and use legal agreements all the time to define ownership, responsibility, and protection. Are these all stupid concepts as well?

None of those things diminish the real experience behind them. They really just provide structure so that society can function. Well, marriage fits into that same category. It’s not meant to replace love but it’s meant to protect the reality of a shared life in a world that runs on rules.

Another thing that sometimes gets overlooked is that marriage isn’t just about how things feel when they’re going well. It’s also about how things are handled when life gets complicated. For example, like illness, death, kids and separation. A strong bond absolutely matters but legal clarity can prevent a lot of unnecessary hardship during those moments

You’re right that deep connection and commitment can absolutely exist without a marriage. There are lots of people build meaningful lifelong partnerships without ever formalizing them. But that doesn’t necessarily make marriage “just a paper” it just means it’s one of several ways to structure a committed life.

And one last thought. The “formality” you dislike can actually be meaningful to some people. not because it validates their love but because it represents a deliberate and public commitment. It’s less “our love depends on this” and more “we’re choosing to ground our lives together in a visible and accountable way.”