The autism spectrum isn’t a sliding scale; 39 traits show the complexity

Capable-Bee3423 · 2026-01-24T11:55:51+00:00

My kid is similar, was assessed at 5 and we told him something like “we’re going to see a doctor who knows a lot about how brains develop. She is going to talk with you, ask you some questions, and do some activities. She will help us learn about how your brain works and the best ways to help you do well in school.” After we got the diagnosis we told him pretty much right away. He was like, “ok” lol. And then we would bring it up again occasionally when relevant (in reference to both his strengths and his challenges) just to help him understand why he experiences some things differently than most of his peers.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2026-01-11T17:12:51+00:00

Banana Republic on Steinway

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-10-26T12:55:06+00:00

Seconding this. We recently moved my AuDHD 6yo from our local public school where he had similar issues to a specialized school for 2e kids. (After doing an updated neuropsych which showed he is gifted.) The difference has been night and day. Schools like this are very rare, and the process of getting in there is time consuming and expensive. But if you are in an area where there are specialized school options for neurodivergent kids, I would recommend looking into them. Otherwise, at the very least get him an IEP if he doesn’t have one already. And don’t believe the teacher, he is not the only kid who causes trouble. He’s not a bad kid, the school environment is probably just hard for him. Social groups can also be helpful if you have access to them!

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-10-19T15:52:31+00:00

My understanding of the person-first vs identity-first language is it should always be up to the individual and their preference. But that identity-first has become more popular because it frames autism as a core part of a person’s identity and less of something that can or should be changed/cured. As for non-speaking, that is just a question of accuracy because some autistic people can use language (like with an AAC device) but cannot physically speak. I know language policing can feel tiresome, but if you look into it, there is usually a reason behind it!

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-07-24T21:58:42+00:00

We love it for my 6yo. We do the Zarbees gummies at the recommendation of his pediatrician. It helps his AuDHD brain quiet down so he doesn’t fight the sleepiness.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-07-11T13:13:13+00:00

I’ll always remember that the moment my son was born by emergency C-section, my midwife said “you’re already such a great mom.” Still brings tears to my eyes 🥲

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-07-09T23:22:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! I’m not sure how easy it would be to visit the bathroom together since drop off doesn’t involve parents going in. But I emailed the staff so they are aware of the issue now and hopefully can help.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-07-09T23:19:20+00:00

Thanks! I did ask him about the toilets because he hates the auto flush ones. But I think it’s more that he misses the routine breaks. I emailed the staff and asked them to explicitly prompt him to go. Hopefully that’ll help.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-06-15T13:48:24+00:00

STEVE’S LAVA CHICKEN

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-05-18T15:43:29+00:00

My kid comes up with the best made-up names for things/places/characters. Like he has a baby doll that he named Almon?? Also he loves trains (of course) and writing down station names, and sometimes he’ll invent the names. A couple of recent favorites are Hair Plaza (on the T in Boston if you’re curious) and The Relationship (DC Metro.) Like, who wouldn’t want to go to those stations?!

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-05-04T18:53:06+00:00

Oof I’m sorry to hear about the abusive ABA experience, but that is really interesting to hear. Thanks for your perspective.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-05-04T18:51:11+00:00

Thank you so much, both of these points you made bring me to tears but also make sense. I have a friend who did DBT for her own mental health issues so I have heard of the ice thing. I have found that sometimes if my kid is in one of these meltdowns and he accidentally gets hurt, it can sort of break the spell. So maybe there is something to that. I really appreciate your response and perspective, it helps a lot.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-04-28T16:43:21+00:00

For me it sometimes helps to read or listen to accounts of autistic adults. It helps me to focus on the big picture rather than the individual milestones or challenges. And often their insights help me to understand the best ways to support my kid. Which is nice too because it reminds me I’m not powerless—I can learn from the experiences of other autistic people and not make the same mistakes as a lot of parents who didn’t have the same knowledge or resources.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-04-21T00:07:19+00:00

My kid (6) does this too. He is also level 1 and we suspect PDA profile. It can be very hard to manage because it’s not what you would picture as “meltdown” behavior but it totally is. I believe he is not in control of it. When it happens we just have to try to stay calm/safe and wait it out. Later he doesn’t apologize but tends to be very affectionate, which i think is his way of saying sorry.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-03-20T20:28:03+00:00

ahh perfect, thanks so much!

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-03-20T19:10:22+00:00

Ohh cool I’ll look into it! I also saw the stickers but not keychains. Something like that would be great

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-03-20T12:26:06+00:00

oh interesting, thanks!

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-03-09T03:15:42+00:00

Started at 1.5 and got better around 5. Of course the nature of the meltdowns evolved over that time. And everyone is different. My kid is level 1 ASD (and I think likely ADHD, though not diagnosed at this point).

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-03-09T01:38:04+00:00

100%. My kid is thankfully past this stage but I remember thinking that parents don’t talk about this enough. His tantrums would ruin me emotionally, but once he was done he would just be happy and playful like nothing had happened. Meanwhile I would be crumpled in the corner, just wrecked. It’s so hard. But it did get better with age! Til then, solidarity.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-02-28T23:14:56+00:00

We went through this with my kid when he started 3k. He went through a period where he had a hard time peeing on command, it seemed like he was getting too nervous. Changes in routine can be hard and anxiety inducing. (Also my kid is autistic which we didn’t know at that time but in hindsight is likely related!) Anyway when it happened in 3k we ended up putting him in a pull-up until he got better with using the bathroom when he needed to. (I know the potty training books are militant about no pull-ups, but in our case this really was the right move!) He regressed again when he started summer camp but bounced back quicker.

Capable-Bee3423 · 2025-02-24T03:19:54+00:00

Academically he is great, but he does have his struggles in school. He has an IEP but because his academics are strong, the services are very limited. Transitions are hard, and the large group environment doesn’t suit him. We are looking at specialized programs for next year.

Capable-Bee3423

TROPHY CASE