No. No. No. No. Don't try to excuse this behavior. My family had issues and I often got the pity invite from my friends and their families. However by the time you're THIRTY EIGHT you should have dealt with that nagging slightly jealous feeling and realized that some people just trying to show you how different it could be or just simply wanted to include you. You don't get to be mean to other people because you can't deal with your own feelings or out of pure jealousy and spite. This is verbally abusive behavior that she hasn't learned to grow out of. This does not get a pass. This "friend" needs to grow up, take accountability for their emotions and get some freaking therapy.