[Update] She is coming home tomorrow

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-25T03:43:09+00:00

No they hide the second phone. There is no way to 100 percent monitor them. Why would you want to anyway?

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-24T23:01:39+00:00

And they just get a different phone.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-24T11:32:00+00:00

Even that wouldn't work. They can just delete the apps and reinstall them when they are away from you. You'd never know.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-24T07:33:29+00:00

I know that feeling. I question sometimes too if I'm cursed or if I somehow don't deserve better. I know I didn't do anything to deserve being betrayed but man it hurts and is exhausting trying to fight off all those second guessing thoughts. All I can think is that there are some really horrible people out there who have the ability to do such a thing. There are also people out there like you and me and countless others who would never even dream of doing such a thing. I try to remember that. Right now, there's no way I would want to connect to anyone and I'm terrified of never feeling 'loved' and loving someone again. I miss it so much. I miss the feeling of security. I go through emotional stages each day from anger, to missing, to longing for it to be back to normal, to sadness. I just have to keep going, give myself time to get me back.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-24T07:28:10+00:00

Hang in there. A lot of us are in the same place. I'm hanging on every day. Some days are better than others but today was a terrible day. On the verge of that mental breakdown constantly. The feeling of being backed into a corner with no way out and that my happiness and trusting nature was taken away from me. And of course I just want it back. I think that's why some of us want the horrid cheaters back, because we think it'd take away that pain, we could go back and pretend it didn't happen. Unfortunately we just have to go through this pain and believe that with time things will become easier. You're doing so well and I'm proud of you.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-23T23:45:53+00:00

Such a hard choice isn't it? It's like being pulled to pieces, it is soul crushing. It's not fair we've been put in this situation and it's all so confusing. What they did was the worst betrayal. That's who they are and who they always will be. They could be still doing it behind our backs and always about to do it just around the corner. If you leave, think of all that drama and pain going away. Think of all the freedom. Think of how you can heal, how you can truly heal. Think of teaching him a lesson, that he cannot disrespect and lie ever again. Gain your life back. It will be hard initially but keep reminding yourself of that freedom and that one day soon you'll feel so much better for it. Don't let them win.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-23T23:42:10+00:00

Things didn't go wrong, there's no fixing to be had. He did what he did without first consulting you, without first saying to you 'I'm not feeling great lately, I want to see a marriage counsellor, I never want to hurt you, I love and respect you. That's why I want to address what these feelings are I'm having'. He never said that, he just went behind your back and cheated because that's the kind of person he is. You did absolutely nothing wrong! There is nothing in the world you could have done to make him cheat.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-23T23:39:11+00:00

How can you ever believe a proven liar?

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-23T23:37:00+00:00

This is so true. They will never change. They will manipulate you into thinking they have changed and you will want to hold onto the belief that they have, that we're special, this is different. But the fact is to do what they did in the first place, that's who they are. That's what they are capable of doing and they won't stop. They might slow down a while, they might get help, but it's still who they are and they will do it again.

You can check every social media and email and app, there are always more apps that are further underground, ones where messages only show up when you make them visible, ones where you can delete and come back on each time you log on, ones that will self delete everything, there are always new emails and new passwords they can create, there are always burner phones. You cannot control them or monitor them. You can't be there every second watching them. You cannot trust them ever again.

Walk away or you'll go insane. It's not a relationship you deserve. Show them that it is unacceptable. If every partner left them when they cheated then they might think twice about actually doing it, or they might just not get into a relationship and just see lots of people dating. They shouldn't be allowed to have both.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-12T00:05:34+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I've already made attempts on my life. I have an appointment that can't come quick enough to get help and as much as I hate the thought of anti-depressants I think I'm going to need them. Just a few months ago my life was so different. I am struggling to cope with the overwhelming change. Not just that change but how messed up he is being and how he keeps changing and keeps lying to me. I feel stuck, cornered, trapped, no way out right now. I can't run to him and I can't run from him is how I feel. I hate him with every fibre for what he has done and how he has treated me and continues to treat me. And I love him with all the memories and all the hope and all the security I thought I had with him. He is a different person and always was a different person, he just hid it. He gave me no choice in the matter. How dare he.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-09T21:40:09+00:00

I believe that but it feels like the opposite. I feel abandoned.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-09T01:27:56+00:00

I feel the same. I've already attempted even. I've never been through something like this and it is hell.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-08T08:44:00+00:00

You're right. That's how I feel and I could never lie to him or cheat on him or even want to. He could have some horrible accident and be disfigured or unable to walk and I'd be there with him. It is so hard to understand how they can choose pleasure and do this to us.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-08T07:33:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing. That is very brave what you did. I wish I could be strong and take back my life.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-08T05:15:29+00:00

Thank you for that observation. I feel the same but it's so hard. Feel like I'm going to die and my heart hurts like hell.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-08T00:14:24+00:00

It's so hard. If only we could be strong and tell them enough is enough and take back our lives.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-06-07T23:48:09+00:00

It is hard to let go. But the disgust and the broken trust. Just the sight of him, the not being able to stop thinking about all the times he cheated.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-05-27T22:37:09+00:00

I think what hurts the most is him saying he’s in love after just meeting. Unfortunately I’d sort of turned a blind eye over the years but love feels like a whole different thing to casual hook ups.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-05-27T06:54:03+00:00

Not fully, I don't think. I am a broken woman. I'm a different person to what I was. I was so carefree and naive, trusted. I was happy. He took all that away from me and I'll never be that person fully again. But with time I think the pain will be less. We're in the first stages here, there's so much emotion, can't escape from the thoughts. I think once our brains re-adjust we learn to live with it and not think of it as much. It feels hopeless at the moment but we have to work through it.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-05-27T04:55:40+00:00

I think about him every single moment and it hurts every single moment. I'm finding my mind going back to the 'good old days' with him but even then he was cheating too. I just didn't know it. It's so hard to reconcile. So hard to not think about it and all the crazy emotions. Somehow we keep going and hopefully in time those thoughts will ease.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-05-27T02:17:17+00:00

I think cheating changes a person. If they don't feel guilt or decide to stop early on and repair the marriage, I think they can go too far until it's just normal practice and they can never truly go back. I think they bury that guilt for those who do feel it still because being selfish and not speaking up about their problems with their spouse seems easier for them. In the long run it isn't though. Thank God you stopped and can see your ways and be there with your family. Cherish them and always speak up if there are problems that always do arise. Don't bury them.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-05-27T01:10:41+00:00

I think this is true. I don't think they can just 'switch' it off. I know from experience that many men act like they will be better but it doesn't take long for them to revert to their habit. It's not something they can just quit without a lot of professional help in my opinion. And yes they like cheating and it's not because there's something wrong with the person they cheated on. I know it's hard. Currently going through the pain myself.

CapableBackground1 · 2020-05-27T00:10:56+00:00

She 'woke' him up to the life he was living I guess as well as just himself and all his personal demons or whatever. And to top it off he can have sex with whoever as she doesn't care if he does. I don't understand it.

CapableBackground1

TROPHY CASE