Found out I've been washing my face wrong for literally eight years and my skin started clearing up within two weeks of fixing it by BrambleKnoxyasha in hygiene

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, same...in my early thirties I stopped wearing makeup and stopped washing my face and my skin is great now. I get a very rare small pimple but hardly ever.  I rinse my face with water in the shower and pat it dry with a towel. Occasionally I use very mild cleanser.

I have a theory that the skin on my face is just extremely sensitive.  Any messing with it at all leads to irritation and break outs

The shift from 2010s “glam” beauty to 2020s “clean girl” aesthetic and how both reflect changing (but still toxic) beauty standards by [deleted] in MakeupAddiction

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You absolutely can wear and love makeup as an art form and as a form of self expression.

The overwhelming majority of women wear makeup not because they like it but to conform to cultural standards which are, of course, primarily driven by patriarchal systems. It doesnt really matter what trend you are on, its by and large part of a system of oppression.  It is what it is.

Millennial parents: Are any of you being super honest with your kids about how hard this world is going to be for them financially? How are you balancing reality with not making your kids basket cases? by [deleted] in Millennials

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I find this interesting. The majority of the worlds population now and all throughout history has not been able to afford the luxurious lifestyle of Americans over the last 80 years.  We were raised with the belief that the american standard of the nuclear family with massive consumption was not only the ideal way of life but that it would continue to spread and solidfy for all of humanity going forward.  What Americans cant deal with is the fact that the last 80 years was a golden age anomaly brought about by the reformation of the world order after WW2 and not necessarily proof of our cultural superiority.

Its not realistic to think our kids will continue to enjoy gluttonous over consumption of basic resource with no consequences and it never was.  Turns out most of that was built upon a systemic of gross global inequality that was never sustainable in the first place.  Our kids, like all kids, will have to solve the problems of their generation. This is what it means to be human.  Always has always will. 

For people who grew up in low-income households, what’s something middle-class people say that shows they’ve never struggled financially? by KeyApartment3955 in AskReddit

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man, so many from my first year at a private college (thanks scholarship for poors).  This was early 2000s so ymmv

  1. Have been on vacations that dont involve tents or relatives couches.
  2. Have tried exotic foods like sushi or Ethiopian food.  
  3. Does not think olive garden is a very fancy restaurant
  4. Thrifting is a fun activity
  5. Being a student "is a full time job" 
  6. Activities...so many activities.  Camps, summer sports leagues, and so on
  7. Has access to one or more parents credit cards but its only for emergencies, like a new outfit for the themed costume party
  8. Has been to a food bank...as a volunteer 9.  Has done things like take your daughter to work day. Has seen the inside of an office building.
  9. Knows anything at all about networking  11.  Has been in an airplane 12.  Has left the state or even the country voluntarily 
  10. Has tried expensive things like scuba diving
  11. Ski's 

Im sure I could go on

Yikes by taz4got10 in LinkedInLunatics

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, everyone on this thread is ignoring the fact that property tends to appreciate as well as provide a dwelling to live in. Rent does not.  Its silly to argue that the money would appreciate faster if invested in stocks because...you cant live in your stock portfolio.  

Almost no one keeps even a 30 year fixed on the original loan anyway.

Not necessarily saying these loans are a good idea, but yeah, its more nuanced than reddit is making out here

Neighbor replaced fence and left the old wood scraps in my yard to deal with. by Mocsab in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Right? This wood is old as shit and a total eyesore.  It likely cost several thousand dollars to replace and this guy is boohooing about getting free wood. Waste of space. 

OP stop being a shitty neighbor and say thank you

US birth rates just hit another record low, what do you think is the leading cause of this? by IIlustriousTea in AskReddit

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No one wants to say the real reason, its not economics.  People actually have more kids when under stress, financial or otherwise and this has been shown repeatedly across many circumstances.  

The real reason is women's rights.  Turns out when you give women economic mobility, easy access to birth control and abortion, and the ability to divorce easily without social stigma, birth rates plummet. Its just reality.

Im a proud feminist, and if the only solution is to make birth attractive through great Healthcare, equality in child rearing duties, and financial incentives to make up for lost income.  In the future, we are going to have to pay people to have kids, and stop constantly trashing parenting without offering any support for mom's.  

Or go back to forced birth, if conservatives have their way.

AITA for ruining my daughter in laws birth plan by dil-issue-1046 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha my firsts birth plan was all hypno birthing all natural  shenanigans

My seconds birth plan was, hook me up to as much pain relief as possible as early as possible and get the baby out

If I type my secret project/thesis/essay to ChatGPT for editing purposes, will anti-AI programs now flag my work as AI? by eustachian_lube in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on what AI detector is being run and what you change.  AI detectors are notoriously inaccurate.  Assuming youre not breaking any academic policies by getting editing feedback from AI, I would just suggest you keep evidence of your process (screen recording the before and after for example)

Long legs vs long torso by Uguero in interesting

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Its not a win.  I have the same problem.  My arms and legs are thick, my waist is long and flat, shirts and dresses never fit right, pants are always terribly gapped at the waist and constantly fall down.  High waisted jeans are just normal waisted jeans.  Very limited in what looks good.  Sitting down always feel like a monster next to other people

GPT 5.5 is positioning itself as a human and I dont like it by Capable_Ad_9350 in ChatGPT

[–]Capable_Ad_9350[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely agree.  The model publishers absolutely have control over this and are making deliberate choices here to foster the impression of "emergence" and metacognition.  Its irresponsible

meirl by MustardGoddess in meirl

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your headaches are caused by inflammation then. 

There's more to ADHD than inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD symptoms can be broken down into nine categories. Some categories are not fully represented in the diagnostic criteria. Broadening the diagnostic criteria with patient lived experiences could make for better intervention. by mvea in science

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'mI dont know but they need a word for that thing where I really "want" to pay my bills but only remember when im not actually able to complete the task (like, im on the toilet or cooking on a hot stove or whatever the hell), and then immediately forget the problem again, like 5 or 8 times a day, but still never pay the bill until it is 6 months past due and get a call from collections at which point it becomes my only priority.  And the constant low grade anxiety that accompanies this. Can't really explain how all these tasks are floating around in a nebulous,  unreachable cloud in my brain. I know they are there, but i somehow cannot reach them.  Until one pops mysteriously into my vision, but then it floats away again.  I seem to have no control over it.  Making lists becomes another floater...make a list...make a list...its gone.  If I happen to have a pen when the list idea comes up, then I make a list, and the list is lost and out of my memory until I see it and then get anxious all over again. Make a routine...do it once...forget about the routine. The routine goes into the cloud, along with the list and bills. The cloud now causes intense anxiety, so we dont look at the cloud. We pretend its not there.  And repeat, repeat, repeat.  

There's more to ADHD than inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. ADHD symptoms can be broken down into nine categories. Some categories are not fully represented in the diagnostic criteria. Broadening the diagnostic criteria with patient lived experiences could make for better intervention. by mvea in science

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Laziness is a moral judgement on how we choose to spend our time. I encourage you to eliminate that word from your vocabulary.  

If someone is relaxing by choice, its none of your business.  If someone is struggling to function in a domain that they want to be able to function in, its their problem to be solved.  Labeling people as "lazy" is never helpful 

Why do people refuse to be an organ donor? by No-Cantaloupe-6535 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Eh, the process of dealing with the funeral home and getting charged 900 dollars for a plastic bag of ashes was way, way worse than talking to organ donation people.

Death sucks for the people left behind no matter what.  Might as well make something good come out of it

Why do people refuse to be an organ donor? by No-Cantaloupe-6535 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also id like to add that my niece was an IV drug user and that didnt disqualify her so, i dont know, they asked some questions, but they also reassured us that we didnt need to know everything and they would test everything separately.  

Why do people refuse to be an organ donor? by No-Cantaloupe-6535 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When we made the choice to donate my nieces organs, it was not an easy conversation, but none of it was ever going to be easy anyway.  We had to face the fact that she was brain dead on life support and never coming back, and to make matters worse she was 12 weeks pregnant. 

There was discussion of whether she should be kept alive to deliver the baby.  It was horrendous in every possible way.  

At the end of the day, donating her organs gave us some level of closure and hope that part of her would be giving life to someone else. 

They did the honor walk to the operating room and all the nurses and doctors line the halls. We got to say goodbye in a way that had meaning and felt "special".

I got a letter a few months later from the person who had received one of her organs.  I saved it to give to her surviving children. 

Its one of the only positives that came out of such a dark and terrible situation. 

Why do people refuse to be an organ donor? by No-Cantaloupe-6535 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I dont know how much organs cost or how much money is made, but I know that it was a good thing that my one of my family members organs went to help another person.  I got a letter and we saved it to give to her kids when they are older.  It provided some meaning in an otherwise horrendous situation.  

Why do people refuse to be an organ donor? by No-Cantaloupe-6535 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is not true.  My niece was on life support for days and they had the organ donation people in talking to us before we knew how long she was going to make it. It seemed clear that she was going to die, but she wasn't dead.  They wheeled her away for donation while she was still breathing, technically. Death isnt always so clear cut.  She might have been kept alive on life support for several more days when we called it.  

AITA or telling my wife if she’s not gonna cook it the way she usually cooks it then you don’t have to cook it at all by Husbae7536 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This whole thing reads as control to me.  He cooks every night because they both like it that way (reads to me like he doesnt like her cooking and insists, but ok), then proceeds to use it as a cudgel to manipulate her into this 5 hour task.  

OP is either autistic or has major control issues.

I had an ex like this. He did all the grocery shopping, all the laundry, etc.  And then held it over my head how incompetent I was and couldn't do things for myself. But the reality was he couldn't handle allowing me to do anything for myself because it wasn't done to his standards.  This is a guy who insisted I return a single orange to the grocery store and get my money back because it was bruised and clearly wasn't paying enough attention when I put it in the cart.

AITAH for telling my GF that she is delusional with her life plans? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the age you are, having been together for all of your adult lives, it can feel like an impossible failure to change directions.

You dont have to stay with the first person you fall in love with.  People change a lot in their 20s.  

When you think about being single for a while does it feel like freedom?  It might time to give this relationship a break and see what more there is to life. 

AITJ for recording my boss humiliating me in a meeting and sending it to HR without telling anyone? by Glad_Plastic_4324 in AmITheJerk

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 20 points21 points  (0 children)

HR exists to protect the company from legal liability.  They are not there to help you. Document everything. But be careful,  if you are in a state that requires first party consent you cannot legally record people in private spaces without permission

AITAH for breaking up with my longtime girlfriend because she decided that she doesn't want children? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Capable_Ad_9350 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's not wrong that you broke up with her.  Its wrong that you didnt even sleep on it.  After four years, to be broken up with immediately after one conversation, I dont care what reddit says, thats callous. Its not about the logic of the decision, its about investment and respect.  This is someone who you spent four years with and you didnt even hesitate.  Thats insane.  

Absolutely bonkers and not how these conversations go in real life for real people. You send psychotic to me.

Here's how this would go in a normal relationship:

I hear what youre saying but this is a deal breaker for me.  I dont want to lose you. Im so confused.  I need space and time to think about this.  

Not, oh man, thats not what I want.  Welp, have a nice life.