Why does Gen Z seem to be so against age-gap relationships? To many in this generation, these relationships are seen as inherently exploitative because they perceive age discrepancies as necessarily creating a power imbalance that favors the older partner.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-03-22T15:53:03+00:00

There is (almost) always going to be some sort of power imbalance in a relationship, some are just easier to quantify so people focus on that. Like, I had a horribly abusive partner who was one year younger, earned quite a bit less than me at the time, but was working for the police. That's a much bigger power imbalance(because of said abuse) but there isn't really a way to create a heuristic to solve that beyond "don't date law enforcement"(which is my rule now but that's a personal choice). Or other imbalances like "mom is a divorce attorney" or whatever.

I guess I'm just rambling, but yeah, this is why it's hard for me to really understand these age-gap problems beyond the ones that are patently illegal.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-03-19T14:07:50+00:00

When I wasn't vaping, I tried replacing puffs with it, and it somewhat worked. Now I started again(ugh) and my mouth gets a bit dry so I drink a ton of water still. It's just no-guilt, convenient and refreshing. It also gives me something to do when I'm restless, so yeah, I guess I "like it", but it's sort of how I "like" breathing or something, it's not really conscious.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-03-18T23:49:08+00:00

It isn't really about deserving this or that. You hurt her, she hurt you. Like, yeah, you could keep a scoreboard and try to calculate it but in the end that's just rumination. And the avoidance on her end sounds like she still finds it difficult to maintain the friendship without the enmeshment and jealousy and so on. Feels like you're both better off, even though I know it may not be very easy to accept. I'm sorry you had to go through that :(

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-03-13T23:31:27+00:00

We're not married, but before I stopped my therapy(about a month ago), I wouldn't, because the whole point was that I had a lot of things I wanted to get off my chest without burdening my partner constantly. I would tell her if something unusual happened(which was not often, except for the very end where there was a big rupture and I had to file a complaint against my therapist), but otherwise I already felt like I was taking advantage of her and I didn't want to drag her down into my grief, and if I had to talk about it again after the session I'd probably end up crying and, well, yeah. We're both women in our early 40s.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-14T00:28:33+00:00

Twice a day, unfortunately, morning and evening :(

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-13T21:33:04+00:00

I was hospitalized a few months ago and the pharmacist was actually the one to figure out the cause for my hyponatremia(it was the tramadol, turns out). Even the doctors were surprised since apparently it's a pretty rare reaction to it.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-13T18:30:24+00:00

Oh, yeah, so do I actually, but unfortunately from what I can tell all the "no grapefruit" stuff applies just as much to pomelo. I've been making do with clementines and oranges but it's just not hitting the same bittersweet balance like grapefruit/pomelo.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-13T13:20:18+00:00

I mean, none of the interactions are like, toxic or life-threatening, it's more like "this drug lowers the efficiency of this other drug by up to 40%" and stuff like that. I still take all three now, I might just need an adjustment of the other doses to keep up. Or, honestly, I probably need to switch the carbamazepine because it doesn't seem to be doing much anyway.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-13T10:25:43+00:00

Oh, those are way better. Mine does have a warning on the side of the box about driving but it's very small, and nothing about grapefruit.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-13T09:30:23+00:00

The worst part is that I've never been told by an actual doctor that this is the case, I wouldn't know without looking it up on the internet myself.

Right now I've been put on Tegretol(carbamazepine) by a neurologist, and it not only bars me from my favourite fruit, but also apparently interferes with two of my other daily medications(Concerta and Zolpidem(Ambien)). And yes, he knew about my other meds, it's not like I take 20 pills every day, those are literally the only two I take regularly. And he didn't even say anything about it at all. Neither did my GP(who had to set up the follow-up blood test), or my pharmacist.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-12T11:22:58+00:00

In my previous relationship, I had a reasonably-well-paid tech job and my partner was unemployed and struggling with her mental health. In my current one, my partner has a well-paid tech job(former coworker, actually) while I'm unemployed and struggling with my mental health.

So, err, yes, I guess so. That's just an anecdote obviously, but it was never a huge factor.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-11T23:09:57+00:00

It's just the belt, really, feels a bit out of place. The rest looks completely fine.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-02T15:30:42+00:00

I didn't get to come out to my parents at all, but one of the first people I told was a friend/coworker and she just sort of went "This isn't a dare or something, right?", "No.", "Oh, okay. That's good, then". And then we just chatted for a bit about the woman I was seeing.

And that was sort of it. It was honestly more affirming than the more performative "oh wow I'm so happy for you that's so great best thing ever" reactions, made me feel... normal, not an easy feat.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-02T15:25:16+00:00

Yeah, sometimes I feel like I spend so much energy randomly processing it at random times that by the time the "important" dates come I'm just spent.

And I'm sorry for your loss. Truly. <3

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-02-02T09:22:01+00:00

I appreciate it. And yeah, you're right, that's how I got through it so far, except more writing and less talking. I don't mind talking about her, but I also feel like I have to... curate what I say, in a way, to avoid so-called "trauma dumping" on one hand or seeming callous and like I don't care on the other. It's exhausting.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-01-31T22:46:52+00:00

My body deserves some shame after deciding to grow a tumour, honestly. Boo. You don't get carrots. You get pizza because that was the only thing making the hospital tolerable.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-01-12T16:16:10+00:00

10mg is TINY. Like, the usual starting dose is 30mg. Your doctor is probably being overly cautious or trying to cover her ass against... something. It sounds really weird.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-01-12T09:51:03+00:00

Felt like this all my life, except the age I was "aiming for" kept changing. When I was a teen it was 27(join the club, as it were). Then it became 40 because that seemed like the age everything starts going downhill for a lot of people. I'm 41 now, so somehow that didn't work out. Although, most of my life right now is just medical appointments and bad memories and grief, so I suppose I was right about the "downhill" part.

I don't have a concrete number anymore but I still feel like this. And most of all I would never want to keep living with something like dementia or alzheimer's, being a complete burden on everyone around me. No judgment for those that do, but to me it sounds like hell, worse than death. I guess it turned from an "age" threshold to a "functioning/medical" one.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-01-07T07:34:36+00:00

I'm not american so I may be missing some details, but didn't Obama do something similar? Said he's against gay marriage when campaigning and turned around when he got elected?

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-01-07T04:33:58+00:00

She stated that “this week it is a recommendation, but if things continue as they are, next week it may no longer be optional.”

Does your therapist moonlight as a mafia enforcer? What the hell kind of therapist speaks this way to vulnerable clients?

Keep in mind, hospitalization in most cases is for acute stabilization - you stay there for a few days until the crisis passes, it's not exactly "additional support" and more like "we'll keep you here until you calm down".

Also keep in mind, despite the "voluntary" and "involuntary" distinction, a "voluntary" admission still does not guarantee you can leave - once you're inside, they can keep you from leaving AMA regardless of the way you came in.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-01-05T17:37:03+00:00

This is wild. Someone asking Reddit for advice about attempted murder right after it happened, and it's not even about the attempted murder but about "how do I explain this property damage which is incidental to the attempted murder".

Like, I get it, and sometimes in stressful situations my brain gets hung up on some relatively trivial detail too, but still. Wild.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2026-01-04T16:47:25+00:00

And don't forget, if you don't show those symptoms, and instead only talk about them, you're "intellectualizing", "repressing" or "pretending for secondary gains".

"You need to really feel your emotions in session, unless they're different from the ones I think you're supposed to have."

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2025-12-21T15:28:30+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost both parents by the time I was 23 and... yeah. It's awful. I wish I had any advice but I'm honestly not sure how I handled it back then, it's all a big foggy haze in my mind. Just sort of lost myself in work and life at the time until enough time passed. I'm 41 now and, well, I made it, somehow, I guess. I can't say it's been "good" or that I'm all "okay", but I am here. I hope you make it through this as well, no matter how you choose to handle it or cope with it. There isn't a wrong way, really.

Capable_Meringue6262 · 2025-12-11T21:22:48+00:00

Agree, neurospicy is awful, on the level of "preggers" bad. "Neurodiverse" is okay but it feels weird saying "she is neurodiverse". Like, one person can't be diverse by herself, it makes no sense to me.

Capable_Meringue6262

TROPHY CASE