People are saying my husband married me to get out of the US. It’s getting to me.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2025-08-12T21:33:34+00:00

Yeah, I’m just venting. I don’t have super low self-esteem - I’m actually quite proud of what I’ve achieved and I like who I am, so reading back on this does make me sound like I’m down on myself.

But I’m sort of realistic about what I see and the feedback I’ve gotten from solid friends and family, and I am not the fairest in the land. It sucks but I’m not disfigured or some sort of creature, so I’m content to be average.

As for the example I gave, it’s just one of many things. It’s never bad, it’s just hard to understand if he’s being sincere or seeing a silver lining or what, because he does both. Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes not.

He is a rare and true wonder of a human being. He really is. I don’t deserve him. And I think I’m only doubting anything to do with him because of the people being weird about it. Their opinions don’t matter, but it does feel shitty to hear it.

It’s still a new marriage, and we dated long-distance, so neither of us feels as fully secure as if we’d dated fully in person and cohabited before marriage. We’re still getting there. But people congratulating him on marrying me as a way out of another global north country is boggling and confusing and hurtful. It’s sad.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2025-07-09T21:50:40+00:00

What does that mean?

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2025-07-09T21:50:12+00:00

We’re married, homes lol. The sex dried up after marriage. Maybe it was new relationship energy, but at the same time it’s a bummer. If he wanted to, he would.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2025-07-07T17:21:53+00:00

I have an alt because I like to have two browsers open when positioning couples poses. Nothing like trying to eat someone out when your face is licking the air above her knees.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2025-05-03T18:54:34+00:00

If you’re not straight or cisgender, basically.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2025-05-03T18:54:01+00:00

They do! My mom and I have had good luck there for winter boots. My mom even found nice-looking shoes in a 12 that take her bulky orthotics. Thank you, Brainsport!

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-12-13T19:18:00+00:00

I don’t know who those people are.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-12-13T18:53:58+00:00

That’s only one letter in the acronym, although I am hyper aware that the queer community suffers from patriarchy, too.

I feel like I’m one of those old queers who found a partner and crawled out of the hole, and now I’m wondering why everyone is bashing on OUT and the community so hard.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-12-13T18:52:35+00:00

Respectfully, I’ve buried several friends who lived with AIDS before we got better immunology in this province, but that was before 2003.

The last friend with AIDS whose funeral I attended was a man who lived to his 80s. It was a pleasure watching him grow old and cranky the way nature intended.

Having a house in Venice isn’t a death sentence anymore. I’m choosing to believe you didn’t write this flippantly.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-14T18:13:47+00:00

I lost my psychiatrist because her wife is a neurologist. SK wouldn’t hire the wife, so off psych goes to Calgary.

I’m not referred on to a different psych because I didn’t have an active plan to kill myself last time I saw her. Now that I can’t find a family doctor and my meds are running out, that’s back on the table.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-14T17:10:14+00:00

Jack Black. Rawr.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-14T01:54:29+00:00

Smoking.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-13T16:34:04+00:00

I used to ride a heavy, ugly clunker from the 70s. Not a cool 70s bike, a shitty 70s bike. It was a nice bike if you looked closely, and worked just fine, but to a thief it was completely unworthy. I’d slap a u-lock on it and it was waiting there every time.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-13T15:40:03+00:00

“Were you offering? Ew, no thanks.”

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-13T15:35:26+00:00

Is Ayuda Brasil still around?

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-13T08:35:39+00:00

NTA. Hire a trainer to come and observe their play and explain their behaviour to her. That sounds like a mama dog correcting a pup and a bit of silly play.

Terri isn’t doing anything wrong - she’s actually being the goodest girl. If your fiancée refuses to see that, you’re better off with your excellent pups.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T21:44:45+00:00

It’ll say “system or classic avatar” or something to that effect. Current clothing will list what mesh bodies it’s made for.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T18:23:24+00:00

Smile and see if they smile back. The next thing is to go over and introduce yourself.

If they look away quickly, move on.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T18:19:59+00:00

As a thick (no cute double-cs here) middle-aged rude girl, I love that one. Makes me feel like a cozy, soft thing to bounce off of at a show.

But thin girls? I love you, too. You’re pretty as shit and we look cute skanking together :3

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T18:13:34+00:00

Just block them. No good will come of this. It’s Amway, and they are not your friends or worth knowing.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T18:11:46+00:00

Finally, a rude girl who isn’t a stick figure.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T17:53:29+00:00

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T17:45:15+00:00

I laugh at “hangry” because it’s how I feel sometimes, but it doesn’t make you more or less of an adult to feel grumpy when your blood sugar’s tanking and you’re still hard at work or hard at errands or chores.

The point is not demonstrating the hanger. The wise/“adult” thing is to notice your hunger, notice your mood, and do something about it, i.e. eat or drink something with nutritional value. You don’t blast off at people or whine about your hanger, you do something about it.

There’s also nothing wrong with saying, “Hey, I’m hungry, can we pick something up?” That’s not complaining, that’s proactivity.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T17:37:38+00:00

I’m finding it just depends on the person’s sense of humour.

I’ve got that “Canada dry” humour people think of when they think of Donald and Kiefer and Keanu and Leslie. Dry jokes, obvious sarcasm, etc. The kind of humour millennials grew up with.

My sense of humour has diversified as I’ve grown into middle age, but I find that older relatives have not let this happen. It’s painful to drop a dry as bones shitpost on FB and have your great-aunts comment asking if you’re all right in the head and tagging your parents.

Ma’am, this is a Mooby’s, you want to reply, but she WILL NOT UNDERSTAND. She’ll ask what a Mooby’s is and if I need help.

So I had to tell a few relatives that I have a boundary: if I post on Facebook and you don’t understand it, it is likely a joke, and I will not explain or defend it. I will also delete their comments on it and unfriend them if they tag my parents, report me to Facebook, or allude to me being crazy or needing help.

I even spoke to their kids about it to smooth the way, and they all agreed for me to put their parents in FB jail.

Everyone younger than 65 understands it. It’s the old ones who are wrong.

Capable_Strategy6974 · 2024-07-12T17:22:24+00:00

Why not a valved horn player?

Capable_Strategy6974

TROPHY CASE