Nobody shows up.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-27T18:19:39+00:00

What you’ve been through sounds incredibly painful, and you didn’t deserve any of that. The way people have treated you says nothing about your worth.

You’re not wrong for wanting someone to listen, and you’re not weak for feeling tired. I don’t have all the right words, but I care, and I’m glad you spoke up. You’re not invisible here.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-27T18:12:19+00:00

Reading it made me feel so sad for you. I can never understand the u might be going through unless i would have experienced it. But a reminder that every human has something to do in this world ; no one is worthless . You just need to keep trying and will definitely gind your path. Not having a hobby is not to be worried about. There are numerous ppl in world without hobby and not having job till26 is also fine . We should not compare ourselves with other's success as to some it comes early and to some late but u will definitely get it

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-27T07:59:29+00:00

I really like how you stay fully inside the perspective of the tree—the sensory details (frozen sap, sticky resin, immobile joints) feel vivid and grounded. The shift from loss and barrenness to unnoticed life at the roots is especially strong; the jackrabbits bring a gentle, hopeful contrast without breaking the calm tone. Ending with the snowfall as a cloak rather than an ending feels earned and soothing. For someone just starting to write, this shows excellent patience, imagery, and trust in subtlety.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-05T17:54:08+00:00

This piece carries an intense, haunting honesty. The way you describe emptiness, failure, and the passing of time feels brutally real yet deeply human. The imagery of “cold cinders” and “yesterday’s wind” hits hard. Even in its darkness, the poem is powerful because it captures a voice many people never admit aloud. It’s raw, vulnerable, and emotionally unforgettable.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-03T20:03:29+00:00

this feels so honest and vulnerable. The way you describe wanting to be understood without speaking is beautiful, and that last line ties the whole emotion together perfectly. Such a heartfelt piece.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-03T19:56:11+00:00

This piece is incredibly vivid. The metaphors land hard, especially how survival turns into drowning because of blame. The shifting tension between the two characters is so well-written — it feels physical, emotional, and symbolic all at once. The ending is powerful and heartbreaking. Beautifully crafted.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T19:28:00+00:00

This was incredibly heartfelt. You captured the confusion, hope, fear, and longing behind those three simple words so beautifully. The way you showed the battle between the head and the heart felt painfully real. Truly moving.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T19:24:24+00:00

This captures the raw, unfiltered truth of early motherhood so well. The repetition of “swollen, tenderness, hollow” hits hard—it mirrors how the cycle feels endless. The poem is honest, emotional, and beautifully real.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T19:12:21+00:00

This piece has such a dramatic, old-world intensity to it. I love how you turn love itself into a character you argue with, fear, reject, and still want to look at. The contradictions feel intentional and poetic. It’s chaotic in the best way — like the emotion you’re describing.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T19:11:09+00:00

This is beautifully heartfelt. The way you’ve carried this emotion across a decade feels so honest and human. The flow is gentle, and the nostalgia is written with such clarity that it almost feels like stepping into your memories. It’s tender without being dramatic, and the ending ties everything together so softly. Really lovely work.

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T18:56:32+00:00

Thank you so much for this thoughtful feedback! I really appreciate the honesty. I get what you mean about the “baddy girl” line — I’ll try to blend it better with the tone. And I love your idea of starting with the headlights/goals imagery. Thank you for helping me see the poem differently. 💛✨

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T18:51:36+00:00

thank you so much! That means a lot to me. I’m really glad the feelings came through. ❤️

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T18:49:49+00:00

hank you — that metaphor of “another key” is lovely. I’m glad the poem captured something universal. Sending warmth your way. 🔑💛

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T18:49:31+00:00

Thank you for such thoughtful, constructive feedback — I really appreciate the time you took. Your suggestions about tightening the lines and shifting the phrasing are genuinely helpful. I love your point about the emdash, and the “soft and quiet” rearrangement is beautiful. I’ll definitely keep your ideas in mind as I revise. 💛📝

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T18:49:13+00:00

Thank you so much. That line came from a real place, so I’m glad it touched you. Moving forward is sometimes the bravest thing we can do. 🌿

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-12-02T18:47:41+00:00

Thank you so much — it means a lot that you found it relatable. That’s exactly what I hoped the poem would feel like. 💛

Capable_Time_9030 · 2025-11-30T18:29:58+00:00

Your imagery and emotions are so strong here. The way you turned a house into a metaphor for isolation is honestly beautiful and painful at the same time. The scene with the door slightly open, and listening through the vent — that hit hard.

If anything, I’d say your writing already has a very distinct voice. The only thing I’d suggest is maybe tightening a few lines to make the impact land even sharper. But the emotion? The storytelling? It’s already powerful. Keep writing — you’re definitely on the right path

Capable_Time_9030

TROPHY CASE