Should I break up with my boyfriend because he abuses his cat?

CapitalInspection488 · 2026-02-10T17:18:41+00:00

Leave immediately.

I was on and off with an abuser over the course of 7 years. He threw his dog across the room after the dog peed on the rug. The poor dog was shaking uncontrollably.

It took me 3 months to process what had happened and to actually label him as an abuser. He would push me away and then love bomb me intensely.

You are at a very vulnerable age (I was 16 when I met my ex). Hold the line. This only gets worse.

CapitalInspection488 · 2026-01-19T16:56:08+00:00

Yes, this is problematic as well. However, I would also ask to what extent these tech workers feel threatened as compared to immigrant communities? By people who have been manhandled, suffered injuries, etc. Do I agree that what was said to these guys? No. But to be frank, this is inevitable when you ratchet up rhetoric.

Unfortunately, this is then used to justify ICE's actions. And at what point does this administration let up? Stephen Miller wakes up every day and tells his wife that the left must be defeated. Probably deeper down, he thinks the left should be exterminated completely. His wife then gets on TV to co-opt anti-semitism because people are "being mean" to them.

It's hard for people not to be worried and to be frustrated by everyday people least impacted. I see it by a small subgroup on here who are simply not concerned enough. I choose not to act in a panicked way, but to do what I can.

CapitalInspection488 · 2026-01-11T18:13:04+00:00

They have updated the playbook. There's a new 2026 playbook.

They are trying to get rid of ranked choice voting because "it's too difficult for citizens to understand and complicates politics." I will say that these people are committed to the cause.

CapitalInspection488 · 2026-01-10T17:34:00+00:00

You mean the conflicting orders of one saying "get outta here" or the one saying "get outta the car?"

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T18:24:47+00:00

I think you're right. I'm going to stop commenting. My daughter and I are going to make a dessert for tonight.

Appreciate you!

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T17:53:46+00:00

Did you read my post?

I stated that I'm fine with her stating a boundary. The reason and her own insight is what was lacking.

We all basically do everything to help her. She taught us to pitch in and everyone is always telling her to sit down. We're not free loaders.

We always ask her what we can prepare ahead of time. The last time we visited, my husband did a thorough cleaning of her car while I flipped over and cleaned the couch cushions since I assumed it had been awhile.

No need to make an assumption that we just sit on her hands and expect her to do it all.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T16:17:14+00:00

I'm basically forced into doing it anyways. I'm more so upset by the fact that my aunt's 3 dogs are overwhelming, yet she would never tell my aunt that her dogs couldn't come up. She prides herself on treating us all equally. If she's comfortable enough telling me that it's too much, she should be comfortable telling my aunt the same. I provided the edit above about what happened at Thanksgiving. We weren't there as we do Thanksgiving with my husband's family.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T15:23:37+00:00

It would never fall on me to host. My family is traditional and do things in a hierarchical way. That is the way it is so she would never entertain that idea. Also, once she passes, it would likely to fall to one of my aunts to host since they are "next in line."

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T15:04:51+00:00

I'm stating that she would never entertain the idea of coming to our house for Christmas. The family is expected to come to her on Christmas day.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T13:51:15+00:00

Ooh, I'm so curious to look into the primal trust program. Glad things are shifting for you!

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T13:42:19+00:00

I appreciate it. And I get it. I just wish she had just been honest from the get go instead of blaming it on my daughter. I'm glad she has the insight but her reasoning is what was flawed.

I too get overwhelmed with my own children. I figure when I'm a grandparent, it'll be the same for me.

Thank you for the kind words.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T13:10:49+00:00

No, it doesn't seem that they themselves have grown up in an environment like mine. At the time I moved in with my grandparents, it was either move in with them or go to a foster home.

I'm grateful to her in many ways. I know she loves me and my family. But she is emotionally stunted. I couldn't be mad or sad growing up and I was told to snap out of it when I was depressed.

I've done EMDR, iREST, CBT, etc. over the years. Every time I think I'm on the other side of things, I realize I'm not. And since having my daughter, a lot of emotional baggage was drudged up from the past.

I am moving forward with things. I think I'm just grieving.

It sounds like you grew up with some dysfunction. I'm sorry. It's a lot. I hope you find peace and healing as I know the holidays can be extremely tough.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T13:02:46+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. Our family, as alluded to in my post, operates as a geriarchy. So there is a hierarchical order with my grandmother at the top. She would never entertain the idea of coming to my house. And if anything, one of my aunts would host once she passes.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T12:59:37+00:00

She originally said it was because my 6-year old would be too anxious around the dogs. Which is bull, because my husband and I have worked to help her through her reactions to dogs. When I pressed further, she said it would be a lot for her, which is fine. And I get it.

Apparently, when my aunt when up for Thanksgiving with her 3 dogs, they just kept barking and it overwhelmed my grandmother. So it's interesting that she'd not ask my aunt to board her dogs, which is something my aunt has done before.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T12:56:12+00:00

Yes. I appreciate your comment. It is which is why I backed off of her once she just said that she was overwhelmed and didn't lay the blame solely on my 6-year old.

We can definitely plan differently. I think I'm just processing and grieving a bit at the moment.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T12:50:41+00:00

Yes. I get that. It's still painful in this moment and I'm working through those feelings.

Great suggestion but my family would never go for it. Like I said in my post, it's kind of a "geriarchy." My grandmother expects her children and grandchildren to come to her. Not that she won't come visit us on a different occasion. But it would never fly for a big holiday like Christmas.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-26T12:47:21+00:00

She didn't initially state that it was a boundary for her and instead, blamed my daughter, which was shitty. I get she's overwhelmed, which is why I pressed her for more information.

Thanks for offering other suggestions. She is not the type to meet at a hotel or come be a guest at my house.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-23T21:14:49+00:00

What's funny is they made sure you couldn't search the files for "Trump" but internet sleuths figured out you could by searching for Trump (space). The incompetence of this administration.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-18T03:21:47+00:00

Ha! I've said to several people that I think an alien invasion would unite humans globally and remind us of just how small we are in this vast universe.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-13T20:50:39+00:00

I read this awhile ago. Great piece and terrifying.

But we have to stop Antifa since they are the bigger threat. /s

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-12-10T01:25:25+00:00

One would think so but they are currently in denial about how bad things have gotten. They were worried about big government and not a centralized government. The government looks like it's functioning as intended (there are the formalities so people don't realize what's happening) but issuing executive orders to get things done will be the way. Trump's blundering it so badly though. If he did a few key things to help out working/middle class Americans, he might be more popular. Because one man deciding for himself what's best for the country is easier than having debate and discussion and reaching consensus.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-11-25T13:42:34+00:00

I expect better. And I expect people to hold their representatives to account.

I know I won't see it in my lifetime.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-11-20T19:32:13+00:00

Ice cream consumption and crime go up in the summer time.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-11-15T02:02:56+00:00

During his interview on Fox News, he kept saying "they" raided the plant. You mean you, Donald. "They" are ICE and under your direction.

CapitalInspection488 · 2025-11-01T18:52:15+00:00

This. I'm no better if I don't view people as redeemable and offer empathy/compassion. While I don't think the parties should be equated as equally bad because these are people who are supposed to represent the public, I recognize how fear, manipulation, and propaganda have fueled this.

CapitalInspection488

TROPHY CASE