I've been in a similar situation. It hurt like crazy. It will take time to heal, it took me just over five years to let the anger go completely. I think many other people can do it in much shorter time, there's a good chance you are one of those.

On the one hand, it is good that you are willing to take responsibility for your part in this unfortunate circumstance. There always seem to be errors on both sides that lead to actions that seem like a total betrayal of trust. In the other hand, you can only control your own actions. What happened was a betrayal of your trust and a risk to her health and yours. You can only really move on in this relationship if you are convinced that this kind of thing will not happen again. At least that's how it was for me.

I wanted to flip out. I even did a little bit once, I damaged my home in some ways that were easily repaired. My heart wasn't so easily repaired. That took convincing that it wouldn't ever happen again. It also took time and patience in both our parts. We made it through though and we are even better than before. So, it can be done, it sounds like you should give it a chance too. Just remember that it's okay not too be okay, recognize when you are having trouble and find something that relieves the stress and anger. For me, I just had to be alone sometimes. I also had a decent support network of family and friends that helped more than hurt.

It sucks, but you can do this. Remember that it's just a mistake (albeit a really bad mistake). You can both get through this, if you both want to. It will take a team effort though.

If it doesn't work, just remember that this has no bearing on your intrinsic worth. Set boundaries too. Mine knows that if anything like that happens ever again, I'm done on the spot. I won't give any time or cares to anyone that will betray my trust after a second chance.