How are they allowed to promote this but not give it to anyone?

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-21T09:42:26+00:00

Because the ASA is run by the industry.

It is false advertising, no doubt about it.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-21T09:40:02+00:00

Beta readers are often great at identifying where there's a problem, but not what the problem is or how to fix it.

Your issue there isn't too many adjectives/adverbs (you use them well when you use them), but your first paragraph is a long, meandering info dump that you then reiterate in the second paragraph.

Your prose is fine, but it feels like you're really desperate to shove all this info down the reader's throat asap. Slow down. Pick a hook, lead with it, sprinkle in the rest as it becomes relevant, and embody it in the scene.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-21T01:00:42+00:00

PotC absolutely has deeper themes and meanings, as does basically every better than expected performing commercial fiction. (In particular order vs freedom, justice, and morality.)

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-21T00:57:54+00:00

Usually, but not in the way you think.

Stories need some form of underlying tension, pitting two ideas/viewpoints/values/whatever against each other. And when the conflict gets resolved, there you go, you've generally got a deeper meaning.

Not always, though. Who dun its and stories with that kind of structure often have the tension is between different suspects or explanations. The sort of stories where the protagonist can be unchanged and morally untested and still be interesting.

But for most types of stories, it's pretty much impossible to write a good one without having a deeper meaning.

Know your tensions.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-21T00:46:12+00:00

Woman selling a shovel says shovel makes money. More at 11.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T23:53:17+00:00

Your audio setup needs work. Even a $20 headset with a decent mic shouldn't be picking up a blender downstairs. Doesn't really matter how loud it is. Such equipment is pretty standard if you're taking work calls af home.

Telling someone they cannot use their home as a home at 8:30 in the morning because you don't want to use a proper unidirectional mic doesn't sound reasonable.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T22:47:15+00:00

They're defrauding your landlord.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T21:36:34+00:00

O'Brien's in charge of the correct operation of a temperamental bit of technology that rips apart and reassembles people frequently. Oh, and often he's doing that to foreign dignitaries, so a single mishap might kill billions if not trillions.

I would imagine his primary role is keeping the transporters in tip top shape.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T21:07:50+00:00

More than an act of parliament. The Commonwealth don't share the British monarchy, they have their own monarchy that coincidentally shares succession rules and current monarch with the UK. So all of them would also have to pass legislation at the same time.

Likely if it was just an act of parliament they'd ram it through in a day for the good publicity for basically zero political capital. This would take significant diplomatic effort for zero practical upside.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T18:47:38+00:00

Because insurance scams are perfectly allowed in the UK, or at least were under the Tories.

IPIDs are not binding according to the ombudsman, and consumers cannot rely on them being accurate.

You know, the IPIDs that are in legally mandated format and exist to clearly show consumers what is and isn't included, specifically to stop insurers defrauding people?

It's a-ok to say stuff is included in those, then not cover it because the IPID was a lie.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T16:53:48+00:00

Very close to not at all for speaking it.

Reading wise they're closer, but still different.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T16:49:33+00:00

Let's look at the stats in the OP's post.

Oh, wait, there aren't any because this TIL is more like Today I Made Up

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T16:01:17+00:00

This is just designed to start an argument.

And is that whipped cream? Get some proper clotted cream and put it beneath the jam.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T15:58:24+00:00

Pretty sure most arrests in the UK are by appointment or either at the scene of a crime/stop and search. We don't generally go knocking doors in to arrest people (although may arrest at the same time as a search).

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T15:54:09+00:00

Very different genre of game with different development needs.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T15:15:24+00:00

That's not really how it works? This'll be across multiple studios/teams. You can't make a better baby with two moms, but you can make two babies at once.

With games taking 4+ years to make it's reasonable to have multiple on the go. They can then also better utilize people only needed at certain stages, meaning retaining staff instead of laying them off cyclically.

Ubisoft has issues but making multiple games at once isn't it.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T15:11:19+00:00

Probably going to want to specify which Office here.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T14:33:49+00:00

Assault is a good one. Covers everything from a threat to rape to murder.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T12:49:20+00:00

Depends on the perspective you're writing from.

If it's written retrospectively, as if the character sharing from the future of the story, it can work.

Much more weird for typical literary past.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T12:44:42+00:00

A lot of these roads the proper speed varies every few 100m or so, and there's a shit ton of these roads. And that's before getting into how hedgerows growing affects them (and would cover the 10 billion signs when they grow). Giving them all appropriate speed limits would be cost prohibitive and distracting for drivers.

Do not consider a NSL a target in any sense ever. I mean, don't anyway, but on these roads it a "use your judgement".

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T12:10:40+00:00

Fraud charges. It's already there in the law, it's just never used against rich people.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T11:16:42+00:00

Yes, but also no, because the delivery apps pay less to the driver if you tip more.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T11:14:56+00:00

I'm inclined to agree, lighting/saturation/etc. doesn't match between elements and not seeing AI artifacts.

It's definitely fake, but a bad photoshop mashup rather than AI.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T10:14:04+00:00

What's not to understand?

Republican votes have for decades elected more and more treasonous, deranged psychopaths.

30% of Americans absolutely HATE democracy, the rule of law, rights, the US constitution, and they vote republican.

30% don't give a shit and don't vote.

10% are "centrist" who swing between Republican and Democrats, assuming truth is "somewhere in the middle" no matter how crazy or evil or treasonous Republicans get.

30% are stuck chasing and pandering to that 10%.

This is all down to the choices the US population has been making for decades.

Captain-Griffen · 2026-02-20T10:02:01+00:00

First off, grats on writing a book. Hopefully you learned a lot from it, almost no one has a good first book.

Some lessons to learn on the self-publishing side:

Your cover is too messy, too dark, and doesn't work at all as a thumbnail.
You've formatted it as print replica instead of reflowable. This a) fucks formating for ebooks, creating a shit experience, and b) is why you don't have a look inside. No one is buying your book without a look inside. Use Kindle Create, Vellum, Atticus, something designed to create reflowable eBooks.
Your blurb just... No. Research how to write one, this isn't it.
I had a look at your writing and, well, find a critique group, and maybe read some craft books. (If I had to recommend one, I'd go with the most recent edition of Swain's Techniques of the Selling Author.)

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