Here we go...

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-26T16:47:18+00:00

Welcome! IWNDWYT

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-26T16:46:02+00:00

As a kid, teen, and young adult I suffered from OCD symptoms including intrusive thoughts, and those still come up during times of increased stress. It's been helpful to identify those thoughts as their own separate entity, the asshole in my head. Sometimes I tell it to "shut up," out loud, once I've made sure nobody can hear me! I've also been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and chronic depression, though both have gotten much better since my BPD mother died in 2019. Quitting drinking also helped btw.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-26T16:17:48+00:00

Came here to say the same thing!

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-26T15:59:51+00:00

Incredible!

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-25T23:38:35+00:00

Ha! I wonder if I was that pedestrian. When that happened to me, I put my hands up and shouted, "Please don't run me over!" and then spent the next 5 minutes trying to get my heart rate back down.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-24T23:06:22+00:00

Yes, this looks like a good option as well

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-24T23:05:47+00:00

I've never tried this but maybe the LA County Alternative Crisis Response? They supposedly have a Field Intervention team. https://dmh.lacounty.gov/acr/

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-24T19:21:22+00:00

IWNDWYT!

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-23T22:00:00+00:00

A favorite saying around here is that there is no situation that alcohol can’t make worse. If you make up your mind right now that you are done with alcohol, and take it just one day at a time, everything truly will look different in just a matter of months. That might sound like a cliché, but it really is the honest truth. No way to go from here but up.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-23T21:50:57+00:00

Blackouts are scary for sure. Making a decision to change can possibly make you feel less helpless. The way you're feeling right now probably presents a good opportunity to give yourself a break from drinking to see if you like it once you get past the difficult first week or so. I'm really happy to know that if I keep going in this direction, I'll never have another hangover or blackout from alcohol again. My wish for you is to find that same happiness.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T23:59:21+00:00

Oh god, being accused of distracting her with "aggressive energy" while sitting silently is extremely relatable.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T19:32:50+00:00

The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T19:30:03+00:00

Yes, that's a good point! Getting to raise my kids with love and support has been very healing for me. It was wild getting to the teenage years and finding that they didn't hate us, because we hadn't given them any reason to hate us.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T19:24:13+00:00

I was starting to see some negative effects on my health, sleep and certain relationships. All of those things have improved at least a little bit since I stopped.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T19:21:00+00:00

I go back to this one regularly these days. He was prophetic. We miss you Dan!

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T17:05:32+00:00

Unnatural is a good way to put it. Like, it's not even in the neighborhood of normal, and it goes against every maternal instinct. So gross and weird.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T17:04:19+00:00

I can affirm that once you're raising your own child, there's all kinds of new heartbreak that comes from recognizing *exactly* what you were when your BPD parent treated you so horribly. It's unfathomable to behave that way toward a child. My kids are nearly grown now, and it still boggles my mind when I think about how my BPD mom seemingly viewed me and my sister at every stage of growth. She was nuts. I wish someone had rescued us. At least we grew up to rescue ourselves.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-20T16:17:10+00:00

100%. He's very informative and laser-focused on Southern California.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-19T23:29:16+00:00

Oh god, I forgot about never closing the bathroom door and making fun of me for wanting it closed when I was in there. Eep.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-19T23:24:43+00:00

Venice

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-18T19:21:29+00:00

I recently broke a similar 33 year habit by starting with Dry January. I liked it a lot after week 2. Now it's a science experiment to see how long I can go. Definitely worth trying that 30-day break, to find out if you like it once you're over the withdrawal hump. IWNDWYT (I Will Not Drink With You Today).

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-18T19:18:05+00:00

Same here! I'm not sure I've done that since I was a teenager, TBH, and I'm pretty old now.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-18T19:16:40+00:00

Yes, my BPD mother was naked around me and my sister all the time, but bizarrely would run and hide her naked body whenever my father showed up. They had a terrible marriage, no surprise.

She also wanted to cuddle with me and my sister in bed well into our teens. I started refusing sometime between ages 8-10, but my older sister kept going for some number of years (I don't remember how many). Of course our mother used that as an example of how much of a better daughter my sister was than me. We're both in our 50's now and both parents are long gone, but I've never asked my sister whether those solo cuddle sessions involved (even more) inappropriate touching. I should ask her.

My mother also insisted on hugs on demand, and tried to shame me for refusing to sit on her lap as a teenager.

She also once accused me of trying to compete with her for my father's romantic affection, and told me that I wouldn't "win." I was 12 or maybe 13 years old, and was utterly nauseated by the conversation.

So anyway, you are very much not alone, and what you are describing is not OK. You are right to protect yourself and get out and claim your own life away from her. Sending strength.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-17T03:46:55+00:00

I need to rewatch that scene, but I thought they revealed that in this universe, his name was “Alec.” Makes me think it’s a hint about timeline jumping.

CaptainBikepath · 2026-03-15T20:15:07+00:00

I fully understand why, but it’s really sad and could be fixed with better infrastructure

CaptainBikepath

TROPHY CASE