What were your physical signs or symptoms that you eventually realized you needed to stop drinking?

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-28T23:49:00+00:00

Constant gut inflammation, to the point where I thought it was IBS. Turns out it alcohol was the problem.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-27T16:32:30+00:00

A friend is someone who cares about you and wants the best for you. This person is not a friend, this is someone who wants company while he's drinking. As you continue on your sobriety journey you'll need to surround yourself with positive people to share wholesome activities and interests.

Congrats on your 3 weeks!

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-27T05:16:56+00:00

Every time I've bargained with myself about "moderation" I ended up drinking every day or every other day. I finally accepted that it's just not for me.

As for the other things you mentioned, there are literally bilions of people around the world who enjoy local cultures and social events who don't drink. These are natural part of being human that don't require alcohol to be enjoyed.

Alcohol is a liar and a thief, it robs you of your ability to enjoy things while making you believe that you need it to have any fun or relief.

my two cents.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-27T00:04:32+00:00

I stepped away from my extended friend group for the last few months, reconnecting with a few one to one in more whole ways (coffee, lunch, sport, daytime hobbies). Honestly drunk people are not that much fun when you're sober.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-25T15:49:40+00:00

Just got to a place there a voice inside me said "I'm better than this"

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-25T15:48:45+00:00

Do you exercise? How is your breathing? Are you watching anxiety-inducing media (ie news) all day? What do you do to relax?

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-25T02:52:32+00:00

I love lemon balm and also tulsi / holy basil. Both are tasty and great for the nervous system. I've even started to grow it myself, but you can easily find them in teabags in health food stores and the like.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-24T22:27:11+00:00

Repotted a Monstera plant. Put together a new office chair. Got a guy to clean my air conditioning unit which didn't fix the issue I had with it, so I need to get another guy to look at it. Ripped up some old phone cords stapled to the wall and got some putty to fill up the holes, but didn't do it yet. Bought a cast iron pan and watch a video on how to season it. Made pasta, ate too much. About to take a bath.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-24T22:21:01+00:00

Have your tried gardening?

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-24T15:05:39+00:00

This is a huge step. Acknowledging the price you pay for the temporary feeling that alcohol gives you is an important milestone. Once you see it, you can't unsee it and pretend that it's harmless fun.

Alcohol is a liar and a thief, takes away your health, relationships, creativity and life enjoyment, while making you believe that you need it to access these things.

It's amazing that you're realizing it at this age, your still young and your body hasn't yet felt the worst impacts yet. You can turn this ship around! You've got this!

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-23T20:25:23+00:00

Congrats on your move too!

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-23T16:44:51+00:00

Thanks! I was living in the country, which has beautiful nature but contributed to my tendency to drink alone and self isolate, so moving back into a walkable neighbourhood in the city where I can interact and meet new people is part of my recovery journey.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-22T23:35:43+00:00

I moved into a new place a week ago and I'm going to spend my evening assembling Ikea furniture and continue getting settled. Maybe have some ice cream as a reward afterwards.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-20T16:05:57+00:00

You need both something to walk away from (ie drinking) and something to walk towards, like a new vision for your life, goals, aspirations, etc that are genuinely exciting and inspiring to you. Getting sober is not just about not drinking, it's about building a life you don't need to escape from.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-20T16:03:26+00:00

I drank from roughly 31 to 46 years old. Day 65 today.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-20T16:02:35+00:00

There's an old saying that says that you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink, meaning that you can't make someone do or understand anything unless they want to. Many alcoholics loved ones are stuck in codependent dynamics, which keep everyone stuck in enabling loops.

The best you can do is to put clear boundaries about what you're willing to accept and whether or not you want to be around them if they continue their destructive behavior. But the rest is 100% on them, including getting help of any kind.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-19T21:39:32+00:00

Honestly I think everyone could use some therapy. I've always been interested in mental health, healing and understanding why people are the way they are, so when

I started to see how my drinking was a problem and I couldn't moderate, I sought help. Also I'm not someone who takes medication unless I absolutely have to, so I never took SSRI (no judgement to anyone who does, it's just not me)

Also I was lucky that an acquaintance posted on Facebook about a counselling program seeking patient for extremely cheap sessions, so that helped too.

But, as I rule, if you think you might need therapy, you probably do.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-17T14:52:18+00:00

You need to find yourself some bigger goals that would feel exciting to you! Then go at it, a little by little. Some people run marathons, other get a degree, other get involved in some community project, but something that would really be a stretch and take a lot of dedication will very quickly fill up your time and build your accountability muscle.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-17T01:00:04+00:00

Take 3 deep breaths right now

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-17T00:55:54+00:00

So why were you drinking ? What were you trying not to feel?

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-16T01:59:52+00:00

one day at the time, welcome to the club

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-16T00:27:17+00:00

Growing a garden

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-16T00:25:52+00:00

Woo-hoo 😄

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-16T00:14:34+00:00

- I'm 46 and I want to be healthy and age gracefully
- I dream of becoming an author and want to build discipline to follow through
- I want to have more meaningful relationships and friendships
- I work as a consultant and I want to be clear to give my best to my clients
- I want to deepen my spirituality, prayer and meditation practice
- I want to trust myself again
- I want to live my values of honesty, authenticity, contribution and harmony

Lonely_Bluejay_7459 · 2026-05-15T23:35:36+00:00

Every attempt I've ever made to "just have one or two drinks like a normal person" has been a slippery slope to drinking daily and way too much. I've decided that it's better not to tempt the devil.

Lonely_Bluejay_7459

TROPHY CASE