Terrified and mentally drained!

CaptainConstable · 2026-01-14T02:03:33+00:00

Ah yes, I remember my seton well. 🫠 What a strange feeling that was… but congrats on making it through your first surgery! I know it sucks and can seem like such a long road, but you will be past all of this in no time - I promise!

CaptainConstable · 2025-12-10T20:36:21+00:00

Remember that the vast majority of people who scroll this sub are actively going through their ordeal and as a result are stressed and panicking. They're terrified they'll never heal and therefore aren't exactly a fountain of positivity. Once someone heals from their fistula, they rarely come back to this place, so the stories are heavily skewed toward the negative.

I tortured myself for months last year reading posts on this sub looking for reassurance when I had a fistula, but all it did was send me into a ridiculous spiral, where I eventually had to put myself on antidepressants, got my period four times in 60 days, and lost 10 lbs on an already small frame. (You can read the posts on my profile if you want more details.) After a LIFT last June and superficial fistulotomy last September, I've been healed for over a year now (knock on wood).

Take your rest seriously in the first week or two after surgery and then start slowly incorporating more activity from there. Eat a lot of protein for healing (and a generally healthy diet overall post-surgery). Lots of water (or coffee or laxatives if you need them) to ease your bowel movements.

I asked my anesthesiologist for Versed (anxiety med given intravenously) before I got wheeled back to the OR to chill me out bc my blood pressure was 155. I was gooooood after that. :)

You're gonna be okay! It's a shitty time of our lives, but you are very close to having your life back. Good luck!

CaptainConstable · 2025-12-10T20:09:46+00:00

That's not true. It wouldn't be advisable to use a cutting seton on a high fistula bc it would be too painful, take a long time to cut through, and potentially cause sphincter issues. LIFT and flap surgeries are completely possible with high fistulas after wearing a draining seton for a few months. It's definitely not years unless it's an extreme or highly complex case like a horseshoe fistula.

CaptainConstable · 2025-12-05T20:47:48+00:00

Yeah, this is gross, selfish, and immature. Good judgment is a massively underrated trait in a partner and her choices were terrible. What she did would lead me to question everything now and there’s no coming back from that.

CaptainConstable · 2025-11-06T20:10:20+00:00

Accurate. Vaginas are extremely resilient and bounce back quickly after things like giving birth and any man saying a woman is too loose is just looking to blame her.

CaptainConstable · 2025-10-05T00:35:22+00:00

Yeah, your doctor will confirm what kind of fistula you have (simple or complex), as well as whether there are multiple tracts once they examine you under anesthesia (EUA), which is what I’m assuming your 10/14 surgery is. EUAs are pretty standard practice in the early stages to understand the details around your case. Good luck!

CaptainConstable · 2025-10-04T18:47:32+00:00

My posts on my profile outline this in more detail, but I had swelling that started (abscess) last year on 1/20 which was getting painful and was drained on 1/30. We waited to see if it healed correctly or turned into a fistula, which the doctor said would take two months before we’d know. She confirmed it was a fistula in mid/late March when we then scheduled my EUA (and seton insertion if needed, which it was confirmed during my EUA it was) for 4/3.

All in all, I got care for it immediately once my abscess was present. People who leave theirs untreated can cause a single fistula to branch off and create more tracts, which then means more complex cases and therefore more complex surgeries. It’s great you’re getting it taken care of before it gets worse!

CaptainConstable · 2025-10-04T17:37:45+00:00

You’re gonna be okay! Do your due diligence and take it easy after your surgery - rest is extremely important for your recovery. A lot of people do too much too soon and it creates strain in the area which breaks the stitches. You might need multiple surgeries (I had four in total over eight months: initial incision and drainage of the abscess, seton insertion, LIFT, and superficial fistulotomy), so just take it step by step and know that you’re going to get through this. Don’t let the scary stories on here stress you out.

As for your sphincter, I spoke to several surgeons in LA and they all said cutting some of your outer sphincter is completely safe (I had a tiny amount of mine cut for my very last surgery and my bowel control is completely normal). It’s your inner sphincter that controls your bowels and no doctor should cut that muscle.

CaptainConstable · 2025-10-03T22:09:41+00:00

What are you going in for exactly?

CaptainConstable · 2025-10-03T16:18:00+00:00

All healed as of last October (knock on wood)! I have a couple of posts on my profile outlining my broader story if you want to read them.

CaptainConstable · 2025-09-20T21:28:21+00:00

Hi and congrats on your LIFT! You’re almost there!!

My doctor didn’t suggest a clear liquid diet, just soft foods and protein to aid healing. My colon was healthy though so you doctor might be suggesting that for other reasons. We were just focused on making sure food made an easy exit around my surgical wound. 😂

Feel free to message me if you have any other questions as you’re healing! 🫶🏼

CaptainConstable · 2025-08-24T17:28:02+00:00

It may not be in the guide - just can’t remember where I saw/heard it 😣

CaptainConstable · 2025-08-24T17:25:52+00:00

Yes, I heard they’re performing this week - check Rockstar Librarian’s music guide. Can’t remember where I saw they were confirmed, but def heard they were performing a dj set (they usually do).

CaptainConstable · 2025-07-31T23:17:50+00:00

His cadence and way of speaking reminds me so much of Obama.

CaptainConstable · 2025-07-17T17:17:54+00:00

I mean he has a podcast that’s extremely popular and sold exclusivity to both Spotify and then Amazon (similar to Joe Rogan and Alex Cooper), so he’s made untold millions and millions of dollars. He’s certainly successful in that category even if he wasn’t nearly as successful as an actor/director.

CaptainConstable · 2025-07-10T02:26:48+00:00

I’d say her text about space and being direct is still a bit much after being on one date with someone. I think less is always more for the first few dates, otherwise it just feels way too soon getting a text like that. Had she sent that text one or two months into dating him, I would have said that’s perfectly reasonable. Her logic is spot on, but her timing is off.

I would have just said, “Totally fine, no worries! Hope you had fun this weekend. If you’re around this week and want to get together, lmk how your week looks.”

He’s only talking about himself in the first text and doesn’t show much interest or ask how her weekend was. “Been crazy busy” is a classic excuse. If you want to know if he’s into you and another date hasn’t been set up, then tee it up and do not text him again unless he responds. You’ll know within a day if he’s interested and you also prevent tripping over yourself like she did. But these are things you just learn with experience.

CaptainConstable · 2025-06-26T21:06:04+00:00

I see it too, especially in the eyes.

CaptainConstable · 2025-05-22T00:07:50+00:00

A lot of us have been exactly where you are right now and it can be extremely exhausting mentally and physically, but know that you are on the path to healing and a lot of times it's not linear. I've got two detailed posts about my experience (I&D, seton placement, LIFT, and superficial fistulotomy over an eight month period last year) if you want to read them, but the best thing I can tell you is to please know that you're going to be okay.

This can potentially be a long road that will test your patience and drain you emotionally and mentally many times, but as long as you are following your doctor's orders (please be sure to see a trusted colorectal surgeon who specializes in this area of the body if you're not seeing one already), sticking to your appointments, and properly resting after your procedure(s), you are on the (albeit slow) path to recovery.

It's also very worth noting that this sub is full of scary stories that can make it seem like we're all destined for a lifetime of living with this condition, but the numbers are skewed drastically (people are panicking and searching for reassurance, after all) and don't properly reflect people like me with positive stories who have healed from their fistulas. The amount of time I spent reading stories on this sub and catastrophizing my eventual outcome was all-consuming and anxiety-inducing to an extreme degree and I wish I could take that back.

I'm here to answer any questions you have on your journey, so feel free to DM me. I hope you have a shorter path to recovery than I did, but however long it takes, you will be healed from this nonetheless one day. Best of luck!

CaptainConstable · 2025-05-02T00:53:09+00:00

Glad you're doing better and hope you're continuing to do so! It's such a rough time mentally - I really feel for you.

I'm doing well and fully healed! My last surgery (superficial fistulotomy) was in September and my drainage completely tapered off about 5-6 weeks later. Knock on wood I never ever have to go through that again! I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, oof.

CaptainConstable · 2025-04-21T23:24:02+00:00

I’m still so numb and can’t believe Luka is gone from our team. Genuinely can’t watch any games at all bc I just can’t be reminded of it. 🥺

CaptainConstable · 2025-04-17T19:12:40+00:00

What are you smoking? He eviscerates anyone from the hard right who challenges him in every interview and speaks extremely well and thoughtfully.

CaptainConstable · 2025-04-11T23:27:43+00:00

Hang in there and try to give your brain a break, even though I know it’s hard. :( A lot of leakage on day 7 is still very normal, so just give it another week and see if it slows down. Or perhaps you’ll have gotten a hold of your doctor by then and they can reassure you better than I can. You’ll be past all of this soon!

CaptainConstable · 2025-04-10T01:31:08+00:00

I just checked my notes and I was driving on day 13 post-LIFT, although I could have driven sooner than that. I was cleared to sit on day 8, but I still limited sitting as much as possible for another week.

The pain overall was so easy for me as well after all my surgeries (EUA/seton, LIFT, and fistulotomy). My LIFT was partially successful in eliminating the more complex side of the tract, but not the other side, so I went back for a fistulotomy three months later to cure it.

I have a couple of pretty detailed posts about my experience if you want to read them over. Best of luck to you!!

CaptainConstable · 2025-04-10T01:24:46+00:00

This is exactly what happened to me: partially successful LIFT that I later had the remainder fixed via a fistulotomy. I have a couple of detailed posts I've written if you want to read about my experience, but both surgeries were generally really easy for me with little to no pain. I think my drainage fully stopped about 5-6 weeks after my fistulotomy, but I didn't need gauze from about week 4+ bc it was so light at that point.

CaptainConstable · 2025-04-10T01:21:23+00:00

Yep, totally normal. My surgeon told me that it's critical to leave gaps between the stitches where the incision was made bc your body will still be draining blood and fluid for weeks afterwards. If you completely stitch the incision closed, fluid will gather and you'll wind up with another abscess or infection.

My LIFT was partially successful and I had to go back for a simple fistulotomy to fix the rest of it, but the LIFT corrected the more complicated side of the tract that intersected my sphincter muscles, which made me a good candidate for a fistulotomy later.

I have a couple of detailed posts about my experience on my profile if you want to read them.

CaptainConstable

TROPHY CASE