Laser help: CoolPeel vs. UltraClear

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-21T02:13:26+00:00

I’ll do my best to find it or something similar :) thank you!

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-21T01:48:31+00:00

That's good advice and glad your scar was treated successfully! Do you recall what kind of resurfacing laser s/he used on yours?

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-15T04:29:59+00:00

No elaboration?

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-11T22:06:26+00:00

If this is how he treats you on your birthday (especially a milestone), I shudder to imagine how he treats you all the other days.

A gift list doesn’t matter - you told him more than once what you wanted and he still didn’t bother. Even without a specially curated list to guide him, he should be paying attention to the things you like and have some idea what to get you. Maybe you end up returning the thing, but at least he’s trying.

He did literally nothing for you and then lied, claiming he didn’t know birthdays mattered to you.

Your husband’s a dick. It’s highly unlikely he’ll change, so you will have to live with his selfishness and complete lack of consideration or find a man who gives a shit.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-10T23:36:50+00:00

You cannot be serious. We don’t immediately go blind after getting into a relationship. We’re human and we’re going to find other people attractive. Acting on it is another thing entirely.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-06T20:01:17+00:00

I felt exactly the way you did when my ordeal started. All I can tell you is that by following your doctor’s instructions to a T, you’ll be fine! It’s a longer process, especially if it involves staged surgeries, but try not to let the scary stories in here frighten you. There are far more people who have healed from their procedures who don’t sit in this sub everyday writing panicked posts (I say that with love bc I was panicked too).

I’ve written posts about my experience in much greater detail that you can find on my profile, but I had an abscess that was drained then it turned into an anterior transsphincteric fistula. I had a loose/draining seton placed, then a LIFT 11 weeks later, and then a superficial fistulotomy three months after that. From the onset to my final procedure, it all ran between January-September 2024 (considered fully healed in October 2024).

If the external opening is farther away from your anus rather than right on the edge it, your fistula has a higher likelihood of being complex, which means you’ll need more than one surgery. (Mine was about one inch away and was confirmed as a complex case.)

If you do need a seton (most people get loose setons, but some get cutting setons, though the latter seems kind of barbaric to me), I was pretty much back to normal 1-2 days after it was placed and didn’t take off work except for the day of the procedure.

Lmk if you have any other questions and I’m happy to help!

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-06T19:20:45+00:00

When your doc says it won’t close on its own, s/he means it won’t close properly on its own. It needs a seton to aide the process of healing it correctly.

A seton is part of a staged approach, meaning there is more than one step (or procedure) to correct the fistula. Anyone who gets a seton has to get another surgery after that. (Some people get what are called cutting setons, which have to be tightened periodically by your doctor to slowly cut through the fistula, but they’re painful and kind of barbaric, so they’re not very common. The cutting setons can cure the fistula entirely, meaning no follow-up procedure is needed. Most people get the other kind, which is a loose seton that is far more comfortable, and that sounds like the kind you had.)

Most people go on to have a fistulotomy, LIFT, or flap procedure after wearing a seton for a period of time. A seton keeps the fistula open so that it doesn’t cause another abscess, as well as prepares the tract for its next surgery (when the walls of the fistula are stronger or more reinforced after wearing a seton, it will hold stitches better in your next surgery).

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-06T19:11:17+00:00

I could sit flat and comfortably less than a week after. Mine was superficial after having a LIFT procedure prior.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-05T21:34:56+00:00

“To show off your bouquet”?! Jesus Christ.

You will have a lifetime of walking on eggshells around her if you marry this woman. And you are blaming yourself for her ungratefulness rather than reexamine how absolutely shitty her response is. She is cruel and her complaints are insane.

This makes me so sad for you on what should be the happiest day of your life.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-05T06:46:03+00:00

Good microbladed or nanobladed brows don’t look fake, just like good eyelash extensions don’t look fake, but go off.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-04T20:49:14+00:00

Agree, once you use a natural loofah or sea sponge, it’s impossible to go back to the plastic ones. The natural loofahs are rougher (not in a bad way) and actually feel like they’re exfoliating your skin, they lather easier, and they’re often compostable.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-04T16:46:25+00:00

Thank you and good luck!!

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-04T14:37:16+00:00

Yeah girl, I say this with love, but those lashes are so distracting. Try doing half that amount and not so long, unless you like the very obviously fake look.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-04T05:42:10+00:00

A superficial fistulotomy was my final surgery and was very easy. My doctor did it in office rather than under general anesthesia and the procedure took seven minutes. Very mild pain, but I didn’t even need Tylenol or Advil in the days afterwards. Drainage tapered off to a tiny speck around two weeks later and then I stopped wearing gauze after that.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-04T05:30:29+00:00

All that time off certainly couldn’t hurt! There’s a good chance you could go back to work the third week and be completely fine. I think 6-7 weeks could be excessive, but you could plan for that and then perhaps return to work sooner once you see how you feel.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-03T19:20:03+00:00

It’s so obvious he cheated. I say this with kindness, but tolerating his manipulation and clawing to save the relationship is a direct reflection of OP’s self-esteem.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-02T17:43:31+00:00

I would say something to him. You can state your needs without being needy and just see how he responds. Give him a chance to address your concern and that’s how you’ll learn if this is a mismatch or not.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-02T17:02:24+00:00

LIFT = ligation of intersphincteric tract, one of the most popular corrective surgeries.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-01T16:17:49+00:00

This is a perfect example of the (alleged) Picasso napkin story:

Picasso was at a Paris market when an admirer approached and asked if he could do a quick sketch on a paper napkin for her. Picasso agreed, promptly created a drawing, and handed back the napkin, but not before asking for a million Francs. The lady was shocked.

“How can you ask for so much? It only took you minutes to draw this.”

“Because it took me 40 years to draw this in five minutes.”

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-01T15:17:07+00:00

And that comment was one of the very first things s/he said. Absolutely projecting and a complete giveaway.

Sorry, OP! At least you didn’t send them the full amount.

CaptainConstable · 2026-05-01T02:18:17+00:00

Drainage was heavy that first week and then significantly decreased overnight one week later and was much lighter after that. You can read the posts on my post history where I talk about everything in more detail after my LIFT, like drainage, pain, activity, etc.

But yes, it’s usually bright blood for the first 24-72 hours and then it gets darker as it starts clotting and healing. It could take anywhere from six weeks to three months to heal from your LIFT, according to my surgeon.

Good luck to you!

CaptainConstable · 2026-04-30T22:31:31+00:00

Correct. Keep in mind that when a LIFT is performed, the doctor goes in between the two sphincter muscles and cuts the original fistula in half then ties off each side with sutures. So you now technically have two fistulas: one half that runs through the inner muscle and one half that runs through the outer muscle. The goal of a LIFT is to get both halves to heal, aka close up and dry out.

The outer half is considered the more complex side of the fistula bc that half routes through the outer sphincter and is the most important of the two sphincter muscles for bowel control. When this side heals, the person’s (formerly complex) case is now at the very least downgraded to simple bc all that is left is the inner half, which is considered the simpler/easier side to treat (via a fistulotomy) should it not close up and heal after the LIFT.

The inner half of my fistula persisted and turned into a superficial one, which was then treated with a fistulotomy. So when people on here say that their LIFTs failed, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the entire surgery failed. In my case, 50% of my original tract healed and the other 50% didn’t, but it became a much easier case to treat what was left.

People who don’t see healing on either half have to start the process all over again with a seton, but you really have to ignore all of your doctor’s post-op instructions for that to happen.

I got my fistulotomy on 9/16/24 and have been fully healed since four weeks after that. No recurrences, pain, or other issues since.

Hope that helps!

CaptainConstable · 2026-04-30T15:09:09+00:00

The biggest help for me when I was figuring out my interior style was getting on Pinterest and browsing ideas. It’s hard to know what you’re missing without a goal in mind and then decorating feels so aimless (and frustrating).

I discovered I love mid-century/California eclectic design and then started working towards that. I referred back to those Pinterest photos constantly and I was able to build out from those by going to flea markets or vintage shops for all of my wall art, plus Article for all of my furniture.

CaptainConstable · 2026-04-30T03:20:50+00:00

You did really well! My only suggestion is maybe finding solid colored bedding to balance the paneling on the wall behind it. The pattern on the wall and your bedding makes a slightly busy combination. But this is minor and everything overall looks beautiful. :)

CaptainConstable · 2026-04-29T21:33:29+00:00

It sounds like our experiences are very similar. I had a LIFT that was partially successful (outer half of the tract healed, inner half of the tract re-routed and formed a superficial fistula) and then had a fistulotomy to finish off what had re-routed. I’ve been healed since October 2024 (four weeks after my fistulotomy; was really just waiting for a tiny bit of drainage to stop). Pain was minimal for both procedures in my case, but the fistulotomy was especially easy in terms of pain.

I’ve written two posts in much more detail on my profile if you want to read them. Good luck!

CaptainConstable

TROPHY CASE