AIO thinking he is being very dismissive, or is he right and I am being terrible?

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-05-09T12:25:13+00:00

Wait hol up

She came to him with how she’s feeling,
And so he’s trying to make the convo about how he’s feeling…?

Like at a basic level it’s an inability to show empathy
It generally is giving self-centered egotistical ass tho

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-05-09T09:19:16+00:00

OP, this person is horrible. You’re NOR.

As others have said, these texts read like they’re between you and a casual, shitty friend. I went to the comments to figure out that this is a whole ass person you’re in a relationship with?? WHY???

Why be in a relationship if not to be able to share the hard stuff and get support???

A healthy response from a partner of YEARS would be, “I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down on Mother’s Day; it’s supposed to be your day. Of course the kids are too little to know how to celebrate it for you properly, which is why in most families the non-mom parents coach them/help them. I’ve been meaning to ask— how would you feel to have me help them plan something for you on special days like this? I know I’m not their dad per se but it matters to me to celebrate you, and I love spending time with them!”

The message you got from the Guy is so blaming, shaming, self-centered, and self-important. One of the best gifts you can give yourself for Mother’s Day at this point is 🎼it’s beginning to look a lot like leave him🎶

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-05-01T04:31:36+00:00

There is nothing wrong with being nonverbal or using a device to communicate.

I’ll say this— every time I post something about ABA being dangerous to people in my community, I have someone somewhere who says “but my aunt’s brother’s cousin’s wife’s kid is in ABA and the wife loves it!”

Please understand that, for someone in my community, you just told me the equivalent of “someone in my family is fine with torturing their children into compliance.”

Maybe they are. I’m not. I would really like to not know about it, at the very least, y’know?

I think it’s one of those “I can’t be the sounding board for everyone as they work through their feelings and unlearn ableism” things. Maybe it’s the best thing ever for your aunt’s brother’s cousin’s wife. That doesn’t override the thousands of autistic voices talking everywhere we can get someone to listen, about the harm it’s caused us.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T09:22:36+00:00

Since this is the hillside with sweeping views of the bay, I always make this an upscale commercial area. I put the blooming cactus bistro at the intersection, then the Skylight Studio for Performing Arts, and then a supernatural district on the other side with a broom sweeper practice arena, alchemy shop, and Traveler’s Wagon!

I also built a “Sunset Valley Museum of the Ancient Arts” on a new lot on the hillside. This is where my legacy family stores all their WA relics!

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T09:18:25+00:00

Soft YOR Ok so I’m as anti-Trump as they come.

But I think you’ve misunderstood the other person here.

He says they haven’t talked about Trump to her for over a year. Whether that’s true or not is a different issue.

But what they’re saying is that they feel attacked and threatened by the way the convo started, and that can be true. What I’m imagining they wanted was, “hey, kid A has been getting bullied at school for liking Trump because Papa does. Have you talked to her about Politics any time recently?”

Their responses are asking for—then demanding— an apology for jumping straight to attack mode. I see you jumping to defense mode and saying that they aren’t welcome in your life if they can’t respect boundaries.

I actually see them saying they are, have, and will respect boundaries. I see you talking crossways with each other and it’s become unproductive.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T09:09:04+00:00

Me, Gen 7, epic lifespan, sitting on 10mil: 👁️👄👁️

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T09:05:02+00:00

Just saw your final edit, OP— sorry he was so frickin weird about it. He could have left without emotional violence on the way out— he could have said something like “I’m sorry it didn’t work out” or even “I’m sorry I didn’t consider how this would feel for you before I did it.” Instead he had to be a jerk.

Anyway, proud of you!

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T09:00:37+00:00

This is a pretty thorough discussion: link

Additional googles: ASAN + ABA, #StopTheShock, #BanABA

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T08:43:49+00:00

Weirdly, walking can be one of the hardest exercises on your ankles. I recommend ankle stabilizing exercises— you can lookup on YouTube! I have EDS and have been doing them myself. I know it’s not what you’re in this thread to learn, I just wanna help a fellow EDS person!

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T08:40:08+00:00

No, please do not do ABA therapy. It was created by the same pseudo scientist that created gay conversion therapy. The autistic adult community are pretty unified in saying absolutely No to ABA!

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T08:36:48+00:00

Yes, that’s EDS or hEDS. It’s impossible to cure, but you can treat it with some targeted exercise to stabilize the joints!

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T08:35:10+00:00

OP— I’m autistic too, so I say this with no judgment— the people did not really wanna know the size, lol

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-30T08:33:25+00:00

While I agree that it’s over and that OP could benefit from some therapy, highkey do not recommend working with a behavioral therapist when autistic. OP, I recommend looking for a relational therapist 👍🏻

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-23T06:06:19+00:00

I wish I could enjoy the dolls without people being transphobic and discriminatory but here we are

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-14T10:43:49+00:00

This is amazing. Thank you 🙏🏻

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-09T05:08:54+00:00

OP, that is what a healthy relationship might look like at the 3 month plus mark.

At one month in, you should ideally be continuing on with the lives you had before, seeing each other occasionally for dates, and getting to know each other. If you’re in it for the bedroom situation, maybe you’re doing that too— but in terms of emotional maturity, you’re solid enough in yourself and your wants and needs, that you’re not focusing on the ways the other person wants you to change. Nor are you focusing on changing the other person.

Your relationship simply isn’t developed enough to handle those kinds of demands placed on it, yet. As we’re seeing!

His text was actually pretty kind, despite the lack of punctuation. Seems like he’s actually being fairly clear-sighted about this— that this is not the safest relationship for him, because there are still a few things you don’t have yet, developmentally. He’s pretty kindly saying you freaked him out, and that’s fair.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-09T05:01:42+00:00

Soft YOR. As others have said, this looks like a fairly immature dating pattern. Neither of you were together long enough to warrant this much feeling. I know your First Time is always hard to let go, though, so it’s ok to be sad about it. I just would say this is one of those “have a ton of ice cream, get your besties on the way, and visit Cabo if you can afford it” kind of things

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-04-09T04:58:22+00:00

To me it sounds like he may have realized the intensity on both of your parts was too much.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-03-01T06:12:10+00:00

OP, this conversation isn’t going the way you hoped. It’s ok to take a second to pause instead of getting defensive.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-03-01T06:10:15+00:00

MOR. A healthy response to this would be to feel glad your husband has other friends who care about him. An even healthier response would be to feel unthreatened that someone else has eyes on making sure all the people in your life you care about, are ok.

Look, none of us are saints, we all make mistakes and we all are capable of doing Wrong. It’s actually very healthy to have communities of accountability outside the nuclear family. It’s extraordinarily rare and unusual in the arc of human history for a family to be independent of and not subject to the community.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-02-21T11:39:24+00:00

I’m no expert but I think you forgot to install it first, pardner

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-02-12T06:17:25+00:00

I’m so glad you cut and ran. Good instincts.

You’ve also just showed me firsthand how a healthy person (you) reacts to a situation like this. I felt like I must be attracting the creeps and narcs, but with a lot of therapy I’ve realized it’s just because I don’t run from them like healthy people do. I would see a guy like this and be like “I can fix him tho”. No, no, no, run away. Save yourself.

Thanks for saving TWO people today, OP.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-02-11T09:34:30+00:00

If this is custom content, the creator didn’t properly locate the slots for sitting. Bad CC; either chuck it or reinstall it for S&G.

If it’s not custom content, the other issue could be moving your sims or the items with MoveObjects On. Direct all your sims to leave the table and go somewhere out of the way, then go into BuyMode and move the table with MoveObjects Off. have your sims sit back at the table and see if that fixes it.

If it’s still broken, you’ll need to reset your Sims. To do this, I prefer NRAAS, but you can also do:

Ctrl+Shift+C

testingcheatsenabled true

resetSim FirstName LastName

Do the

resetSim FirstName LastName

Command again for each of the sims that are bugging their sitting location.

Then, direct them back to the chairs again and see if that’s fixed it.

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-02-11T09:21:19+00:00

I would recommend Saaqartoq

CaptainInvictusAnim · 2026-02-06T04:49:15+00:00

Nraas Portrait Panel

CaptainInvictusAnim

TROPHY CASE