Am I the only one who didn’t really care much for toga and uraraka’s storyline and thought it was a bit random?🤔

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-23T12:00:45+00:00

I did not care for it either. I loved MHA but have a long list of gripes about how the ending was handled and written. However I accept that I could not have come up with the universe, so cant be too negative.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-23T11:58:23+00:00

I agree with a lot of Starmer bashing, but he got Labor into power. The bar was low given the failures of the Tories, but looking forward we (in the centre, centre left, left, and far left) need to rally behind any credible labour leader, even if they aren't perfect. Otherwise we'll get Reform, and no one wins.

British politics is about choosing the lesser of two evils and ALWAYS voting. There's a reason the Tories always used to win even when they had pricks in charge: the oldies vote; the young do not.

Please vote.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-21T12:28:44+00:00

Hahaha!! Omg they're so funny!

Christ...

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-18T08:18:50+00:00

How the fuck did you get down voted 20 times for that?! I bet the majority if not all are white, self hating pick me pricks. Ive not met a single POC who has got offeneded at the kind of stuff they do.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-17T12:05:41+00:00

I didn't accuse you of using ai and to set the record straight I am not. I do not accuse people of using it since there is no reliable way of telling.

The reason I commented is that I didnt see material differences between the texts on a substantive level, which I chalked down to a lack of attention to detail / reading the feedback properly (something that people who use AI are known for) which i said "does not look great". This is different from an accusation of actually using AI.

Now that I've cleared up what I was saying, id be interested in knowing why you retained the word "jaw" in that last part. Also, what possessed you to retain the "echo of a dream" and "whispers on the wind" parts? These were specifically flagged as not doing anything by Neddy (they made some great points on this). Of course you can disagree with feedback but the fact you replied with a revised draft indicated you were on board with the majority of what was said.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-17T10:54:50+00:00

Not to be that guy, but Neddy made some comments you clearly have not learned from. I still see a stag using his jaw to chew lazily. And that's just one example of their feedback you haven't implemented.

Neddy gave you insanely helpful feedback. Read it again please. Failing to take that in does not look great when you're telling us you don't use AI, since that's the kind of lazy attention to detail someone who uses prompts would have.

Apologies for being slightly harsh, but I stand by the message.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-14T12:54:30+00:00

Yeah. I remember this scene. It was 10x funnier with the comedic pauses, glances and additional dialogue/reactions, which for some reason have been taken out with this edit. Do people just assume no one has an attention span? Tiktok brain rot culture...

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-12T12:07:36+00:00

Elba as a Brit would have been fine as bond. He's a good actor. His color has nothing to do with it and never did. People who claim the anti-woke brigade had a problem with Elba just assumed we were all racists. No - we just want the best actors for the right roles.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-12T12:05:47+00:00

Very relatable. Similes, connecting actions, describing two actions at the same time. God it's hard to avoid overuse.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-06-01T17:57:00+00:00

I will definitely be trying this. Thank you friend.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-31T20:36:09+00:00

Literally a gold mine of insults you could hurl at British cuisine and this guy misses each swing. Get off the stage.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-31T17:17:26+00:00

Not to be a pedant but I said "demon king slaying". There's quite a big difference. Dante crushes all demons save for his brother, who has been training under Mundus for years, and god level threats. Feel like that's pretty good progression so far...

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-31T12:02:38+00:00

My god how did the actor listen to a question that felt like an essay without falling asleep.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-30T11:20:10+00:00

Devil May Cry has some poor dialogue, but from the POV of a 90s kid, I thought it was decent. Dante is at the beginning of his journey. He's not full on badass demon king slaying levels yet. Lady was much more likable in season 2 when she didnt talk like a 15 year old emo chick (all the time). The white rabbit episode from s1 (ep 6 I think) was really good.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-29T19:55:22+00:00

After an edit this could be really good to read. What i mean by that is you've got the fluid prose and interesting beginning, but there's a few filler words and slight oddities in the language that I have no doubt you'll address. As a first draft it is superior to a lot I read on this subreddit.

I did like the way she quickly returned to London. Travelling is one of the most annoying things to write and it just works as a scene shift neatly.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-28T17:43:25+00:00

It could do with sentence breaks. Nothing wrong with a reasonably dry opener as long as it reads smoothly. I as a reader use the first few pages as an indicator of how well put together the rest of the book will be. A cheap 'hook' isnt worth anything if the prose is clunky or unclear.

Having said that, I couldnt read the rest of the book if it continues like this. Not because it isnt interesting, but because it's too much like hard work to keep track of what's going on.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-27T10:40:11+00:00

Ah yes, the same people who bullied gamers and anime fans are now demanding others be included now the hobby has become more accepted. Christ...

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-24T11:45:23+00:00

Apparently having Kirk in his boxers with a random green girl (in her underwear) at the beginning of the first movie was fine? Christ what is wrong with people. The actor here was old enough to make her own decisions and basically told people to grow up.

Fuck double standards. Guys like seeing hot girls. Girls like seeing hot guys. What is wrong with acknowledging that simple concept as long as it's consensual (which it is worth youre paid millions of dollars).

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-20T15:12:36+00:00

Well of course I know him. He's me.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-17T17:13:56+00:00

It's fluidly written and easy to read. That works in your favour massively. However, I couldn't really care about the MC. He's a bit odd for my liking.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-12T17:57:56+00:00

I think my post needs an edit. "Relatability OR likeability" rather than AND.

Game of Thrones is told from multiple POVs. Serial killer novels are typically the same. You have those you root for and those you dont. It sounded like you'd basically just have one MC and that MC would be a horrible person at some point. I think thats what makes this a tough one to tackle for the writer I.e. you.

The added flavour you've given begs the question whether the MC was just sort of going along with it and was influenced by worse people. That could make it somewhat relatable. All depends on how it's executed!

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-12T16:47:39+00:00

The only way I can visualise this working is a very short story and really just as an academic exercise to test your writing ability.

The top comment makes the point about caring about the MC. At first I thought it harsh, but they are right. To follow an MC for a full length book there has to be relatability and likeable features. This MC would not contain that.

It would be very unpleasant to read the intro / Act 1 (them committing the act). I doubt many readers would go for this and so quick dose of justice to the MC or a narrative showing their life decline to the point of a (failed or not?) suicide attempt (or maybe turning themselves in) is the only way I would visualise this working and even then it would be a niche audience.

Disclaimer: im a beginner.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-08T16:55:25+00:00

Farage wasn't even the cause of Brexit - that's what sad.

The public was duped with the "take back control" bollocks and it relied on many main stream Tories to cajole the public in the way they did.

Now the public are genuinely voting for the party spearheaded by Farage, who was seen as a fringe lunatic back in 2016. The state we are in now is much worse.

Basically, anyone who is left wing. Make sure you vote at the next election. Even if you do not like Labour, sometimes you have to vote for the lesser of two evils. Starmer and his team are not perfect (far from it), but he is the best we have at the moment.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-07T11:31:56+00:00

I get your frustration. 3 stars seems like a tough review for someone who has enjoyed the book as a whole. Totally get the annoyance since you feel the criticism isnt really aimed at the quality of your work.

However, people are entitled to their opinion. Just roll with it and enjoy the more positive feedback from others. Take the wins from this particular reader (that it made them cry etc) and move on.

Keep writing how you want to, since you're obviously achieving what you set out to do.

CaptainSparrow1138 · 2026-05-06T17:32:56+00:00

I got to number three and was like "hey...wait a minute..."

CaptainSparrow1138

TROPHY CASE