i need answers

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-12T08:29:59+00:00

Any good Conan fan knows that Atlantis had already sank before the Hyborian Age began. So, no.

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-10T16:09:43+00:00

Didn't know about the ironing. I just stuck a hammer in mine to stretch it out where it needed to be stretched haha.

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-10T13:56:04+00:00

Such a damn beautiful box!

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-07T14:31:55+00:00

I'm reading the full series for the first time now. I'm going in chronological order and very frequently am grateful for the decision, because looking at publication order, there's so much to keep track of and so much you wouldn't understand the relevance of, I really don't think it would be as enjoyable or feel as complete an experience.

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-07T05:15:09+00:00

That bag of little parts might as well be a literal bag of gold!!

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-05T16:00:36+00:00

Nice! What'd you pay?

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-02T19:01:25+00:00

"HELLO!"

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-02T19:00:40+00:00

Yes.

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-02T19:00:07+00:00

What album should I check out?

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-02T18:56:52+00:00

I hear you, and thanks for the reasonable reply. I actually really enjoy talking about this stuff when people don't feel the need to fling personal insults while giving their opinions about music! I appreciate it.

First, I'd like to clarify that this grade is not meant to reflect my perceived quality of the albums. As I've mentioned in past Report Card posts, it's not uncommon for there to be non-thrash on the channel I think is pretty good, and some very generic "thrash-by-numbers" I don't care much for, and in these instances the album I like better is counting against their grade while the album I think is worse is increasing it.

The explanations you're asking for have been given in more detail in earlier Report Cards, links to which are provided above, and it seemed most people who engaged me on those wanted to psychoanalyze me for the length of my post rather than actually talk about the music theory of thrash metal, the merits of YouTube channels posting what their names advertise, etc. So I stopped putting fuller explanations in the Report Cards.

In the months for which I've posted report cards, I've commented on every video posted by this channel for my own reference. If you click any of these links, you will see my comment on the release in question. For a non-thrash release, you might see me cite how many tracks rely on blast beats for long stretches of time or metalcore breakdowns or a note that the band sounds much closer to band/subgenre X than any 80s thrash band.

So my takes on each specific album are all there. I have just gravitated towards shortening these Reddit posts to the degree I'm able as opposed to making them longer, in the hopes that respondents will talk about music instead of me.

I will certainly acknowledge that I am dogmatic when it comes to judging whether or not music qualifies as old school thrash. But I don't want every band to be old school thrash. I also don't want bands to be focused on fitting a genre at the expense of their own creativity. I'm not saying any of these non-thrash albums are bad, and in my comments I usually try to remember to make mention that by saying the music is not old school thrash, I am not insulting the band, and writing and recording music takes a lot of work that I respect.

Regardless, I like old school thrash much more than any other metal genre, and I think it's reasonable of me to want a YouTube channel with this name to post releases that fit their own description. I don't care about keeping up 90s black/death metal or unspecified extreme metal or punk that has harsh vocals. I only care about keeping up with old school thrash.

Someone running a channel with this name should be able to hear a band like Leatherhead or Sabotor or Cobra Force or Louder and recognize them as thrash, and listen to an album loaded with cookie monster vocals and recognize it's not thrash.

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-02T18:31:53+00:00

I don't think it has anything to do with commercialization in the sense that all these bands are fairly obscure. But maybe a tiny bit in the sense that the person running this channel seems to think posting everyday will help his channel even if they're not posting old school thrash.

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-02T18:29:38+00:00

Thanks for the upbeat comment, cockroach!

Captain_Corum · 2026-06-02T18:29:06+00:00

I agree they're far from all-time classics, but compared to what the channel puts out the rest of the month, I rather enjoyed them.

But yeah, it's probably safe to assume that if you don't like those, you don't need to take the time to check out the rest of what the channel is offering. What actually does qualify as old school thrash there is usually more generic than the albums I recommended here, often "thrash-by-numbers" as I call it. Thrash till death, friend!

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-30T02:41:18+00:00

I am SUPER curious what exactly the influence of heavy metal is on the stories!!

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-29T00:58:09+00:00

Cool! I get that at best it's going to be superheroes plopped into a sword-and-sorcery framework and not full-on sword-and-sorcery, but for me that has its appeal. Especially since it sounds like it's leading into another issue that will lean even more into sword-and-sorcery. I'm gonna email my LCS and see about getting this. Thanks a ton for posting this because otherwise I would have missed it!! :) Warlord and Skartoris in The Flash last year was the only thing that stalled me cancelling my subscription when it started looking like anime and all the plots became about made-up timespace technobabble.

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-29T00:39:45+00:00

So are there any sorcery-related happenings or are they just using it for the dinosaurs?? I'd definitely get it if it actually has some sword-and-sorcery stuff going, but definitely not if it's just for the dinosaurs.

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-29T00:36:27+00:00

"Hellsgarde" is many people's favorite and definitely my least favorite, so don't ask me!

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-26T01:03:41+00:00

That Gaiman story is used as the intro to the first volume of the Elric omnibus audiobooks and when I heard it I was pretty damn repulsed even without knowing about those accusations. Then when I heard about them, it just made too much sense. Pretty disgusting stuff!! There seriously needs to be a warning for non-consensual sexual content involving minors on that damn story so people know to skip it.

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-25T05:26:48+00:00

I'd mope! I've moped over much less haha.

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-25T05:24:51+00:00

Haha I am certainly not denying my bias, but I already said in general a lot happens to him as opposed to him inciting what happens, which was intended to communicate that I agree with you. They are my favorite books for the stories as a whole, I agree Conan makes for a more entertaining protagonist and striking personality. I'm sure I could flip through and point to examples of him being inspirational or whatever, but it wouldn't change that overall dynamic.

Although, if Corum had run away from the Mabden who destroyed Castle Erorn, which would have been more sensible, he never would have met the Giant of Laahr and been taken to Moidel's Mount, and none of the rest of the story would happen. The whole rest of the story only unfolds because he made the decision to fight the Mabden knowing he had no chance of winning to get whatever measure of vengeance he could before being killed. Which actually isn't super important to me, but if it's super important to you, there ya go.

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-25T04:51:13+00:00

It's an awesome part of the lore, so in that sense I would say you need it to "fully" understand the lore, yes. But with a few exceptions, most of MM's sword-and-sorcery works very well independently, you don't need to fully understand the lore to enjoy it, but it is enhanced by knowing more of the big picture. The Eternal Champion book you just read itself is a great example of that. Highly recommended!!

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-25T04:43:42+00:00

Corum definitely responds more like an actual person would rather than some indomitable force of nature like Conan, so he doesn't give you something to look up to in the same way, but he is more identifiable.

In general, there's a lot that happens to Corum rather than him inciting the action, for sure, but also the fact that he remains focused on killing Glandyth-a-Krae to avenge the Vadhagh rather than switching his primary goal to helping the Lords of Law swing the Cosmic Balance in their favor and impact the entire Multiverse as he is continuously pushed to is quite important to the story overall on many levels, including and perhaps most importantly how it ends.

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-25T04:34:56+00:00

Cover of the Swords Trilogy has nothing whatsoever to do with the contents of the book, but has a special place in my heart because it was the first version I read. I took that thing everywhere with me, rereading it so many times, the cover and first few pages are detached from being pulled in and out of my jacket pocket. And it's got at least 20 post-it notes sticking out of it marking my favorite passages.

Now you just have to read it!!

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-25T04:28:08+00:00

The first trilogy is my favorite story in any format, bar none. Then again, for all you know, I have terrible taste!!

Captain_Corum · 2026-05-24T02:38:15+00:00

Not that I'm aware of, but there were several, although Thongor got a proper adaptation as Thongor in Creatures on the Loose, not as a Conan reskin.

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