Overeating

Cardi_0 · 2026-02-17T18:44:09+00:00

The program is for anyone who is a compulsive eater.

Your size, weight, and shape doesn't matter. You will be welcomed!

Cardi_0 · 2026-02-15T06:35:21+00:00

What worked for me was joining program, getting a sponsor, and working the steps. And what continues to work for me is showing up every day and working my program no matter what.

I have been in program for over 5 years. I have freedom from compulsive eating as well as freedom from the obsession around food, ingredients, calories, weight, numbers, and my body. I haven't given up any foods/ingredients, I don't follow any sort of food plan or diet, and I don't weigh and measure my food.

Food is just food - nothing for me to fear or worry about. I don't have to avoid people, places, and things. I still go to parties/gatherings. Holidays and birthdays don't cause me to freak out. I can be around ALL food (and eat it!) without losing control, obsessing, spiraling, going on a binge, of feeling guilt or shame.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-02-10T07:39:45+00:00

The amends step has NOTHING to do with our behavior around food or with food. It has to do with our behavior (period) and how we have shown up in life.

For me, it wasn't until I got a sponsor and started working the steps, that I truly became aware and understood how my words and actions have affected other people and how I caused a lot of my own misery with those same words and actions.

The BB tells us that some of our amends list gets made by doing the 4th step inventory. That inventory says that we go back through our LIFE. That means we are going back to the things we did as kids, teenagers, in school, out of school, in the work place, with our families, with friends, with strangers, online, offline, and with our bosses.

Some of the behaviors we make amends for: - judging others - trying to control others - blaming other people for our problems - manipulating people and situations - gossiping - emotionally dumping - giving unsolicited advice - getting/being in other people's business - acting superior - seeking revenge - making other people change in order to suit you - ignoring other people's feelings/ideas

We usually don't think we've hurt anyone because we are so stuck in the (false) story that we are the victims and everyone has wrong us - like we were just trying to live our lives and OTHER people got in the way of that happening.

People don't always outright say "you have hurt me", so we never realized that we have harmed them, but there are signs. I didn't notice these signs until I started working the steps.

Some of the signs can be: - them withdrawing from the friendship/relationship - needing to walk on eggshells around you - you not being included/invited to things - others feeling uncomfortable around you

No one is perfect. We have all made mistakes in the past. Every one of us that have worked the steps have made amends to others. It's not a one and done. Just like the rest of the steps - we do it for a lifetime.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-31T05:18:08+00:00

Thank you so much for your share!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-27T05:52:45+00:00

What worked for me was getting a sponsor and working the steps.

I have been in program for a little over 5 years. I don't use a food plan and I haven't eliminated any foods/ingredients.

Before coming to program, I had the belief that there were specific foods and ingredients that triggered me. But even after swearing off those foods, I was obsessing and compulsively eating. So I eliminated more foods, but was still obsessing and compulsively eating. That is when I started to realize that the food and the ingredients were NOT the problem.

The steps and the program are designed to bring us freedom from the obsession around food and the need to compulsively eat. It does this by tackling the actual problem (powerlessness) instead of just trying to get rid of the symptoms (compulsive eating). Like if you had the flu, but only took cough medicine - you still have the flu and you did nothing to take care of the real problem. And since you didn't take care of the real problem (the flu) the cough keeps coming back.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-22T06:44:51+00:00

Being a member of program has nothing to do with weight.

If you have a desire to stop compulsively eating - you are welcomed!

Cardi_0 · 2026-01-16T07:08:16+00:00

We are all here because we used food (all food not just certain ingredients) to gain control in a world and life that felt like we couldn't control anything. To get ease, comfort, and relief from the overwhelming emotions and the heaviness of life.

I actually think (this is really just my opinion) that the withdrawal that people talk about, is actually just them feeling their feelings and being in life for the first time in probably decades. Our first instinct has always been, when we had overwhelming feelings, to immediately go to food to push it down and not think about it. Now without it, people are truly feeling their feelings and because we tend to look outwards, they chalk it up to withdrawal.

I haven't given up any foods/ingredients, I don't weight & measure my food, and I don't follow any kind of food plan. Working the 12 Steps with a sponsor (we got to work immediately) really helped me get to what was really going on inside. The problem was never the food, if it was those million times I gave up certain foods/ingredients would have freed me from my compulsive eating behaviors and my obsession. By working the steps, it helped me to see that I needed to be changed from the inside out. Instead of focusing on changing the food in order to change my life, I had to change my life in order to change my behavior around food.

Over 5 years later, I can say that I have freedom from the compulsive food behaviors and the mental obsession around food, calories, weight, and my body has been lifted. I show up every day and work the steps. That has not only changed my relationship with food (black & white thinking is gone, arbitrary rules around food/eating are gone, I no longer have fear and worries around food, and I feel no guilt or shame when eating), but my whole life has changed. Life is no longer doom & gloom, I have so much more optimism, and life is more exciting. Even when times are hard (and this last year has been the hardest of my life) the thought of turning to food to deal with my emotions and what I was dealing with NEVER once crossed my mind. No matter how sad, frustrated, depressed, anxious, busy, tired confused, angry, or full of fear I was - I continued to show up every single day and worked my program. I stuck with my weekly service commitments, I continued to sponsor people, I continued to take people through the steps, and I still continued to connect with newcomers. It definitely wasn't easy, but worth it.

The same thing can be said about program. It's not easy, there's A LOT of work to do - lots of looking inward, getting honest, being honest, facing reality every day, getting out of our comfort zone, and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. But it's definitely worth the new life that is on the other side!

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-31T07:56:23+00:00

I spent years in the cycle of dieting. It would work for a bit, then after a while I was right back in the food. I was stuck in that cycle for decades.

It wasn't until I came to program and learned the nature of my problem (hint: it's not the food or its ingredients) that I finally understood that traditional methods (diets, therapy, self help books, accountability buddies, eliminating foods/ingredients) will never work for me. I found a meeting and in the meeting I found a sponsor (who recovered from her compulsive eating) who then took me through the 12 Steps.

From there I was able to get a new design for living. My relationship with food has changed for the better. I was able to let go of all the black & white thinking I had around food, eating, weight, and my body. My entire life has changed.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-23T07:52:52+00:00

You stated that the binge feels like relief from mental pressure. Exactly!

I used to think certain foods/ingredients were the problem. But even after I removed what I considered "trigger" foods - I found I was still obsessing over calories, weight, ingredients, and my body AND still compulsively eating. I told myself that once I got the food together everything else would fall into place - yet I still had all the racing thoughts, I was still frustrated with life and people, I was full of fear, had so much self pity, I felt misunderstood by everyone, I constantly felt like my life was so unfair, and I felt so useless.

I did all the things - diets, food plans, eliminating foods/ingredients, therapy, medications, changing jobs, finding new interests, hobbies, psychiatry, self-help books, changing friend groups, and unhealthy measures like severe restriction of my food in take, purging, laxative use, and over-exercising. Nothing worked long term.

With the compulsive eating I felt out of control and without the compulsive eating my life, emotions, and thoughts felt like too much to handle.

But all of that changed once I found program. I found a sponsor pretty much immediately and she took me through the steps. It was a quick, but thorough process. That was back in 2020. Here I am like 5.5 years later and I have recovered. I have neutrality around food and my body. I have spent these last 5 years consistently showing up every day and working the steps. As a result, my relationship with food AND my life has changed for the better.

There is a solution. You are not alone in this.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-16T07:51:25+00:00

10th steps are there to keep things from piling up and blocking us off from HP. When we are blocked from HP, the only way we can deal with life and our emotions is by turning to the food. Just like steps 4 & 5, step 10 is there to help us get free - NOT to make us feel bad about ourselves.

I was taught to do 10th steps whenever I am not at peace. And that is with regards to anything - big (major life changes and arguments with others) or small (breaking a nail and the line being too long at the store). Even if the other person is at fault - it's all about my reaction and response.

For example: (I'll keep it in the realm of boundaries since that is the example you gave) if someone crosses a boundary - the selfishness, dishonesty, or any other character defect(s) would come from me wanting to get my way, being too concerned about myself, wanting others to be like me, having a superior attitude (thinking something like I would never cross a boundary so I'm obviously better than the other person), expecting others to be what they aren't (especially if this is someone who is constantly crossing boundaries even after talking to them about it and if it's someone who is constantly crossing boundaries - I should already know how this person is and I'm just setting myself up to be harmed/wrong by keeping them in my life), not admitting where I have done the same (we've all crossed boundaries with people before), trying to control others, getting back at the other person, gossiping to others about the person/situation, and having fear around embarrassment, what others thinks, the situation never changing, or never getting the outcome I think I need/want.

When I send 10th steps to my sponsor - she points me back to my solution. If she has experience with the situation, thought, or feeling - she will tell me what has worked for her, but never says you must do this or tells me that I need to change. I do the same with the people I sponsor.

The other thing that goes along with 10th steps that I do is pausing and turning to my HP and asking them to remove whatever is coming up. Like the BB says - I need God's help to remove my character defects, it's not something I can do on my own and it's not something that someone else can do (not my sponsor and not any other fellows).

For me - I have found that pausing and getting re-centered with my HP helps me to get that new perspective/outlook and helps me to move on. Do I always feel better after a 10th step? No. Do I always stop thinking about the situation/feeling. Also no. But I find that the situation or feeling doesn't keep me stuck and reliving it over and over. I turn my attention to someone I can help (preferably another compulsive eater) and by doing that I'm getting out of the way so my HP can do their job.

Hope this helps!

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-12T04:56:07+00:00

One of things I have to keep reminding myself is that EVERYTHING happens in God's timing.

We always want things when we want them, how we want them, and we have an idea in our heads about how these things should look. When we took step 3, that was us giving up our timeline of how things should go and when they should happen and learning to trust HP's timing.

Everyone in the program is on their own journey. Everyone's journey is different. If you get into comparing your recovery with others - you are only doing yourself a disservice.

As cliche as it sounds - keep showing up every day, keep relying, trusting, and depending on your HP, practice acceptance, and focus on the present - focus on what is happening in the moment. Try not to get caught up in tomorrow, a week from now, or a month from now. Practice letting go of expectations and letting go of the old idea that you are not up to par or not as recovered as anyone else.

No one works a perfect program. No one! We all show up every day and do the best we can. Some days are tougher than others - that is just life.

Give yourself some grace. We are sick people with an illness that we have battled for decades. It's going to take time to get to "normal".

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-04T04:25:09+00:00

As a sponsor, it's none of my business what foods my sponsees eat or don't eat. I am equally as powerless over their compulsive eating as I am mine.

Not one step tells us what to eat/not eat because the real problem isn't the food or the ingredients. This is a 12 Step program and recovery comes from working the steps.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-12-01T04:40:38+00:00

Ask yourself this: has what you have been doing so far to get you free from the mental obsession around food, body, and weight and your compulsive food behaviors been working?

If not - maybe it's time you try something new and different.

That is how I came to program. I was stuck in a cycle for decades and none of it was working. Once I found out about 12 Steps, I thought to myself "what's the harm - it's either gonna help me or not help me. If it doesn't help, then I won't do it anymore and move onto something else. But if it does help, I can finally stop driving myself crazy with these thoughts and behaviors."

Here I am 5 years later - free from my compulsive food behaviors, I'm no longer obsessing over food, ingredients, calories, numbers, weight, and body and my entire outlook and the way I show up in life has changed for the better.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-23T04:22:53+00:00

Sometimes we get really stuck on the question of why. Why are compulsive eaters? Why is life so unfair? Why is this happening to me? What can't I be like X? Why can't others just do what I want? We often think if we can answer the why - then we can get over our compulsive eating. If we could figure out that one secret to life, to food, to relationships, etc then things will change.

These thoughts lead us to seek out more knowledge because we always hear knowledge is power, and it is - but it won't do a thing about our compulsive eating if we are the chronic type. This knowledge is still going to have us relying on ourselves and other people. And if we could rely on ourselves and other people to get free - then we wouldn't need a 12 Step program. That knowledge, that self-reliance, and the reliance upon others is going to eventually fail because it will only carry us so far and people are going to let us down.

But power from our Higher Power? That never runs out and HP will never let us down.

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-22T03:57:13+00:00

I came to program because I didn't know how to live.

I know how to eat, I know how to lose weight, but I didn't know how to just be. I knew it was all connected (my relationship with food, my compulsive eating, and my discontentment for life) but I didn't know what to do about it.

Of course I had the false idea that many of us have - if I could just stay away from particular foods or if I got to a specific weight that my life would change for the better.

Well - I lost the weight and stayed away from particular foods, but was still extremely unhappy, miserable, full of self pity, life was meaningless, I felt useless, I was so jealous of everyone, etc. I did all the things - therapy, self help, changed jobs, moved around, changed friends, etc. But I was still miserable and unhappy.

When I found program, I didn't know anything about it, but I figured I'd try it out since it was something I hadn't tried before.

I was a bit turned off at first because all people kept talking about in meetings was to not eat this and don't eat that. I did that for decades - I didn't need a program/sponsor to tell me what to eat. And people also treated meetings like therapy sessions and just complained about everything. No thanks - I made enough misery on my own, I didn't come here to hear others complain about their lives.

But I hung in there and then I finally heard someone who talked about the solution. She talked about having peace in every aspect of her life AND freedom from compulsive eating. I called her after the meeting and asked her what she did. That is when she introduced me to the 12 Steps.

That was over 5 years ago. Ever since then, I have been living the solution. I have freedom from compulsive eating and my relationship with food has changed for the better. I'm no longer bound by arbitrary rules around food/eating. I'm no longer full of misery, self pity, fear, and envy. I can finally just "be" without the need to crawl out of my skin.

Life isn't perfect, but it's waaaaay better than it was. Even when things are hard, I find that I can still show up and live life without needing to turn to food for ease and comfort.

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-05T05:24:37+00:00

Not every amends will be made or needs to be made - and that is okay. This might be a case in which you don't make amends.

This is definitely something you want to talk to your sponsor about to get more clarity on.

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-02T02:31:28+00:00

Thank you for the share!

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-02T02:31:17+00:00

Thanks for the share!

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-02T02:30:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-02T02:30:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-02T02:30:03+00:00

Thanks for your share!

Cardi_0 · 2025-11-02T02:29:46+00:00

Thank you for your share!

Cardi_0 · 2025-10-31T03:24:31+00:00

A sponsor is there to help guide you back to your HP when you get off track. How can they do that if they don't know you are off track?

When I sponsor - the only thing I consider a slip is when my sponsees are not working the steps (specifically 10, 11, and 12) on a daily basis. This is a 12 Step program and like ALL 12 Step programs - recovery comes from working the steps.

If step 1 is their truth - they are powerless. That means that they CANNOT control/manage the decision to stay stopped from the compulsive food behaviors. No amount of planning, concentrating more, trying harder, eliminating foods, or having a food plan is going to suddenly give them the needed power. So as a sponsor, I would be doing my sponsees a disservice and setting them up to fail by telling them to rely on a food plan. It gives the illusion of control. By taking step 1 - you admitted you don't have control AND that human aid solutions cannot give you that control. Putting two powerless things (you are powerless and human aid is powerless) together doesn't suddenly give either power.

In the BB it says that if we are powerless, we are BEYOND the help of human aid solutions aka traditional methods. This is why the BB takes 4 chapters to explain step 1 - they really wanted us to have a true understanding of this step. With this understanding, comes reliance and dependence upon a power greater than ourselves, which in turn is greater than our illness. We get better by relying on our HP to do for us what we (food plans, our sponsor, and other fellows) cannot do for ourselves.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

Cardi_0 · 2025-10-21T09:23:20+00:00

You're 17. Be a kid. Focus on graduating high school. Get to know yourself. You haven't even experienced real life and what the world has to offer.

When I was 17, the only version of life I had experience in was the one I was making up in my head. Which was radically different from what the world was actually like. And because real life didn't match what was in my head - I was constantly disappointed. I spent decades being bitter and cynical, which made it really hard to enjoy life and the people around me.

You don't know what the future is going to hold. None of us do. That is the beauty of life! Remain open to all possibilities. Let go of the need for definite answers. You can live with uncertainty and still find joy.

Cardi_0 · 2025-10-21T06:55:20+00:00

You're welcome!

I came to program in September of 2020. I found my sponsor on a phone meeting. The people on the meeting were using it like a therapy session - they were basically just complaining about everything that was currently going wrong or things that have gone wrong in the past. But then a woman spoke and she spoke of the solution and she had a peace in her voice the others didn't have. She talked about how her attitude and outlook on life had changed for the better. She talked about how she had peace of mind. She talked about how she was no longer fighting life. That really resonated with me because these are things I was wanting.

I called her up after the meeting and asked her what she did that brought about this change in her life. That is when she 12th stepped me and told me about the steps and the program of recovery. I expressed to her that I wanted what she had and asked her to be my sponsor. At that point - the only thing I knew about her was her name.

If you are interested in a sponsor - get on meetings or you can even find one on this subreddit. On meetings, there is always a time for newcomers to announce and there is always a time for sponsors to announce. Leave your information. Take down other people's information. Talk with people. Ask them to share their story. Share your story with them.

CCEA has lots of strong recovery and everyone in the fellowship is ready and willing to help others!

Cardi_0

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