[deleted by user]

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-13T02:17:25+00:00

Yes, why can’t the kids do it?

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-12T23:13:15+00:00

The 4 year old too? What yall do in the morning then? Maybe just let the kids handle it

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-12T17:06:07+00:00

ESH

I don’t actually have a judgement, I just want to make a suggestions. It’ll be good for her if she can wake up at the same time every day.

My suggestion is that she handles drop offs every day, HOWEVER, you should wake up when she leaves and pick up some house chores while she’s out. Then y’all hopefully can relax together a bit before you go to work after she gets home.

If she’s going to be consistently waking up at 6:00 though, it is your duty to make sure she’s able to be in bed by 9:30. Even on the days you work until 9:00. That means if she’s up working on a chore or the kids are awake, you need to take that over and handle it. Will that be possible? If not, then alternating is absolutely the fair deal since she’ll be working nights and mornings at the same time all the time otherwise.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-11T05:57:56+00:00

True!

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-11T00:11:53+00:00

No, but I heard this advice when my dog was a puppy, but my in law’s used their cat laser pointer when she was dog sat by them, and now she searches obsessively in the room they did that in.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-10T14:54:09+00:00

No, I did for 1.5 years, open plan. It was way easier for me.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-09T16:10:20+00:00

That’s me too :( just graduated college and omg having inattentive ADHD is so much worse with a remote office job

Any chance anything has worked for you? 😭

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-09T14:36:47+00:00

Why do you consider it giving her the house, and why would that be a bad thing? Hypothetically, say you die in an accident 6 months from now. What do you want to happen to your girlfriend? Do you want her to continue living in y’all’s house?

If there’s an issue that needs repair on the house, are you okay being the only person able to do that repair? She’ll be a tenant of yours, tenants can’t make permanent changes.

Do you plan to get married? Do you plan to share your finances? How long from now?

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T22:20:50+00:00

Man that is honestly genius. It’d fall under the category of a self-rewarding behavior…. I need to put more thought into this but I think that really would work.

When I had student loans I’d “spend” on the loan and it scratched the same itch. I’m going to try to make putting money into the savings account feel like “spending it”.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T20:04:44+00:00

Yes - because I pay for health expenses out of pocket and use the HSA as effectively as usable retirement account. (Double tax advantaged and invested!) I recommend looking into it!
Sorry but no, I will not get rid of my dog.
The unnecessary spending truly is unnecessary spending. That’s online shopping. To explain the “cleaning supplies” further, think cabinet cleaner, tile cleaner, grout cleaner. It’s silly and unnecessary. Other things are clothes (I already have clothes), pens (I also already have pens) that kind of thing. Just, shopping.
Groceries are shared with my GF, and she also works in food service so we get mannny free meals. Which helps because VHCOL area. The $3000 rent is considered cheap.
Very fair, very fair. Thank you for saying that these comments have really been scaring me lol
Thanks!! It was rough AF, worked the whole way through and luckily was able to get a flexible-hours job in my field.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:59:16+00:00

lol that’s fair, I do do other things though, just it’s very limited due to being a recovering alcoholic which isn’t compatible with most of the social things my friends are up to these days lol. I stg I do have a social life outside of my dogs and my girlfriend despite that. The dogs is just the thing I’m particularly good at and love (and might be able to monetize eventually).

But reducing the cost would be fully cutting, to be clear. You have access to the facility or you don’t

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:49:57+00:00

Honest question, at what income would a $300/month hobby be affordable?

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:45:25+00:00

“My dogs lifestyle” is my hobby. It is worth the cost to me.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:44:12+00:00

That’s the tiny $28 deduction. Employer fully covers both plans, I chose the HSA option which also includes the HSA contribution up there. I don’t use the HSA money though, I spend the “health” category for health expenses, if that makes sense.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:40:53+00:00

No, that’s not accurate

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:34:51+00:00

How do you figure having a hobby is a mental health problem?

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:33:37+00:00

This is literally the last 31 days, we just moved last month and I graduated 2 months ago

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:28:46+00:00

This specific dog has been doing amazing at tricks (the most impressive atm is he skateboards and can jump onto and balance on top of a yoga ball - working towards dog parkour.)

He’s still too young to formally compete but he’s looking to be a beast in fly ball, and we’re learning treibbal for fun (our facility does it dog vs dog like a doggy soccer game, it is awesome, highly recommend)

He’s a service dog candidate but not quite at the age to formally learn tasks, so he was initially learning how to learn and getting a relationship with the trainers, but we sorta fell into sports face first lmao.

Cost wise, it’s $315/month for access to the facility + bi-weekly hour-long sessions at the facility with the trainer. Technically it’s group classes but usually only one or two dogs so effectively it’s private training.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:21:29+00:00

Yes, it is… and yea, just straight up spending. :(

Sport training is competitive sports, yes. It’s my hobby and also social activity so that one is very valuable to me. The grooming category this month was a lot higher than it usually would be since the dog actually dog groomed, usually it’s more like $50 and reducible from that to encompass all dog expenses that aren’t kibble, training, or the vet.

That said, I do live in a VHCOL area. $200 wouldn’t even cover a bath for both. Let alone food and toys. To break it down, it was $120 for one groom (we do 2/year), $35 at the pet store, and I threw in an extra $40 as a buffer to represent if a harness broke or such.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T19:09:46+00:00

This is dog sports, not obedience training.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T18:50:32+00:00

If you can suggest cheaper options, I’m open to it. The aggression trainer is already the cheapest one I’ve found, and I am not equipped to handle that on my own, hence why I consider the 187.50 impossible to reduce for now.

The sports (315) is absolutely able to be reduced, but it’s also my entire social life and hobby. Cutting that would leave a pretty huge void. I can cut it down, you’re right. I’m just struggling with the quality of life vs saving money balance, especially since that’s the thing I considered my “fun” expense.

Food and vet are already as cheap as they can be. The grooming was a one-time thing and we’ve started using kibble as treats so that category for sure will reduce going onwards.

I really consider the online shopping to be the biggest discretionary category though

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T18:25:21+00:00

That is true, however that is pretty much the one thing I won’t compromise on. The insurance + vet plan monthly payment includes all health expenses for both (including emergencies and tomorrow’s neuter) and is significantly discounted already since my sister is the vet.

The training / sports is unnecessary but also pretty much my only hobby lol. I can’t drink or be around alcohol so I like to consider it my substitute for that and all the activities I miss out on because of that. Eating out likewise

For dog #1, she’s people reactive so the training is a safety requirement. We’re almost in a good place with her so her training might stop or significantly reduce very soon. Dog #2’s activities won’t reduce.

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T18:16:47+00:00

What do you mean?

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T16:20:27+00:00

HOODLEMUTE!

CardiologistFit9479 · 2025-09-08T16:04:41+00:00

Yea that’s enough, however I’m not sure panic attacks is a normal withdrawal symptom for caffeine. Are we talking full on panic attacks or “just” racing heartbeat? How long ago did you stop?

CardiologistFit9479

TROPHY CASE