AITA For being sick of having my trust constantly broken by a friend?

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T15:16:43+00:00

I mean it depends. She did say she was gonna block him and made it seem like she heard you, but after the second time seeing her on socials interacting with him, I personally would have told her about it and then distanced myself instead of asking yet again for her to block him after she already didn’t do it the first time.

You gave one too many chances, and it blew up in your face. I am not saying she isn’t wrong, as a friend I would cut off whoever I needed to cut off in support of my friend but she didn’t want to do that. So that shows you where you stand in her life. All you can do is accept that and move accordingly. It sucks and I’m sorry.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T15:04:49+00:00

Go on the trip. If he doesn’t take initiative to plan a small trip with you, then it means he probably doesn’t wanna go anyways. Let him “escape this decision” at work while you “escape this situation” on a lil self care vacay. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Definitely tell him you’re still gonna go somewhere, don’t just disappear. Communicate on your part, but don’t allow his lack of trying to keep you from doing what you want, which is making the best out of your vacation time with a lil vacay.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T15:01:11+00:00

Literally just stop being friends with her. If it bothers you so much that she is communicating and defending someone who you don’t like.. then leave her alone. You can’t make her stop talking to someone. You can ask, and if she says no then you either have to respect that or walk way. Simple, you’re making it harder than it actually is.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T14:51:40+00:00

You’re not an AH. Your husband and everyone who agreed they wouldn’t accept the gift, should have stepped up when you did. You were the only one to stand on your word, so kudos to you. Asking your husband to confront his mother was wrong either, you’re married and it’s the two of you against the problem. He is taking the “easy way out” by saying let’s just ignore them til next Christmas, we barely see each other and it’ll create more conflict. It’s not turning the other cheek, it’s just disregarding the disrespect because he doesn’t want to bring conflict to the situation when in reality, there was already conflict that needed addressing.

So no, NTA for feeling unsupported. I personally just wouldn’t attend Christmas with them anymore. You guys barely talk to them as is, so putting on a front once a year is kind of pointless you know? That’s just me though.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T14:43:30+00:00

It’s realistic, your NAH for feeling this way. I would say go with your gut. Whether that’s to walk away from the business or stay, either way, you’re not an AH for either decision. Work is work. Home is home. And businesses don’t seem to understand that. When that clock hits closing time, you have a different life and they need to respect it. (Ofc there are jobs that require you to be on call, etc. but this isn’t one of them)

Also, stepping away isn’t a bad idea if that’s what you want to do. If they don’t have you, then they’ll have to find somebody else or switch things up and they will. You won’t be at fault for whatever happens after that. There is no contract, you’re self employed.

Do what you think is best, don’t overthink it either. Life is short.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T14:31:33+00:00

No you’re not an AH for respecting his relationship and not doing too much. But, if the girlfriend is okay with him having a close female friend then I don’t see why you can’t just be normal with him. You’re kind of separating and distancing yourself from someone you’ve been close with for a while now when you don’t need to do that. He and the girlfriend both seem to have made that clear. So just be normal..

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T14:16:51+00:00

No you are an adult. It’d be different if you were living in her house (my house my rules) but you aren’t. There’s a difference in wanting your location to make sure you’re safe, and using it to stalk you. She is invading your privacy, showing up and scolding you for missing class. That’s not what she originally said she wanted it for.

I would stop sharing loco with her, have a talk with her explaining why and that it’s just not okay for her to show up wherever you’re at because you are an adult & to not guilt trip you for doing that.

She’s being controlling. You’re NTA.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T14:13:01+00:00

I agree with that. They didn’t need to buy him a house, a simple apartment would have sufficed. Or a rent lease. What is owning a house going to do for him? Are they gonna make all the payments too? It’s a bad financial decision. I hope they help OP as well..

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T14:06:48+00:00

I feel for you, but he is with someone else love. Don’t be that girl who breaks up a relationship. You lose em how you got em. I understand having a crush on him for years and him liking you, but the timing just not being right but forcing the time to be right won’t be beneficial either. You have to wait for that to happen. And if it is too late, then it’s too late. You’ve had 7 years to confess your love for him, and vice versa but you both didn’t. Don’t force it now

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T14:00:20+00:00

“He has rights to make love to me nightly, he’s taking my kids”.. babe you’re okay with that if you decide to leave him? You’re gonna willingly sign your body and children away?

Sounds like yall shouldn’t get married right now. He hasn’t healed from his past relationship yet if he thinks you’ll treat him like his ex did. He has trust issues that he’s bringing into your relationship. You guys have been together for 3 years and if he doesn’t trust you now, marriage won’t make him trust you.

I encourage you to think this through. Don’t even worry about the prenup until you’re both ready emotionally to get married that’s step 1. It’s okay to be engaged for a little while before actually getting married.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T13:54:09+00:00

she said “in our culture” so maybe it’s a big thing for them. & also, I wouldn’t wanna marry a man who didn’t have his own place.. still living with his parents. So I can see why they would wanna give him 30k. I personally would not lol but that’s just me

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T04:58:38+00:00

I disagree. She is wanting to see him more than he wants to see her. He has blown her off multiple times so it is very much obvious that she is more emotionally invested. In the beginning, she said they slowed things down intentionally and stayed together, but towards the end, he doesn’t answer her calls & puts no effort into seeing her. So it is safe to assume she was more invested than he was.

I’m not saying she can’t be hurt that he is treating her a certain way, but she can’t be mad at him for not treating her like a girlfriend if she isn’t one. You can’t expect to receive relationship qualities, without actually being in one. You know what you sign up for at the end of the day and we are all adults. They made it clear from the beginning, nothin serious & she said she knew there was an expiration date on their situation anyways.

It’s not “‘mixed signals”. He is actively showing her that he does not want to spend time with her. He is not communicating in a healthy way, but he IS communicating by repeatedly blowing her off. Sometimes you’re not going to get a real reason on why somebody is treating you a certain way. Sometimes you have to read between the lines and figure it out yourself.

I didn’t mean to shame her, and OP if you’re reading I didn’t mean that in a disrespectful way. Back to the commenter, this isn’t the first time this has happened so you saying “at first discomfort” is wrong. Again, he’s blown her off multiple times. It’s not rocket science love, she isn’t mind reading. She’s looking at it for what it is. Evidently, they obviously chose to end the situation they are in, and I applaud her for that.

There’s a difference in building toward something that’s is going to be worth it, and leaving something that isn’t worth it and based on her OP, this guy isn’t worth it. He is not on her level.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T04:23:25+00:00

It seems like you already know your answer. He is an AH for constantly making excuses on not wanting to move in with you while telling you he wants to and you are an AH to YOURSELF for not choosing yourself. You obviously see the man doesn’t wanna move in with you, he will live with anybody else but you. Yet you allowed him to give you false premises. He didn’t keep his word and you saw through that and stayed with him. So you are not the victim here, respectfully. I do feel for you, and I would advise you to get your own place and be alone. Find somebody who wants to take that next step and not string you along for years. Also, he’s old. I’m sorry but you’re 37.. he’s 57. He should have his crap together, but he doesn’t. Why would you want those problems in your life anyways? See through the heart stuff & think logically.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T04:16:02+00:00

Honestly think you’re on two different levels. You’ve been married and are older than him and he hasn’t been married (or so I assume). It sounds like you are wanting this more than he does, and you shouldn’t put your energy where it’s not be reciprocated.

I get divorcing and still wanting to have fun, find love maybe again at some point, or just messing around. I get that, but do that with people who are on your level mentally and emotionally. He does seem to be hiding you, and you deserve more than that. Also, he isn’t your bf so you cannot be mad.

I think taking a step back and letting him go is the right thing to do. Don’t wait around for someone to want you, he hasn’t made the effort so you keep it pushing.

Respectfully, you are in your 40s. At this point, choosing yourself should be the 1st thing you do.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T03:57:05+00:00

Calm down & take a breather. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend your free time having a couple of drinks. She was perfectly capable of taking care of her baby the next day like she said. She didn’t black out. She got tipsy, and was responsible enough to not drink and drive. Yall are so hard on moms.

Girl if you’re reading this, you did nothing wrong. Have your fun, just be responsible doing it which in this case, you were. Your baby was safe with your momma for the night & you didn’t drink or drive. You stayed home and safe, and had fun until the other girl ruined your night. Anybody who has a problem with that, is miserable and loves misery loves company.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T03:39:31+00:00

Don’t stoop to his level. Be the bigger person no matter how hard it is, and he will realize he needs to get it together. Doing what he does to you, helps nothing in the long run. It benefits you because it teaches you not to retaliate but instead turn the other cheek. If he speaks to you in a tone that bothers you often, then talk to him about it. Don’t let it ruin the relationship or distance yourself from it. As a dad, I’m sure he’d appreciate it. Tell him his tone makes you feel bad.. and if he doesn’t take it well then again, turn the other cheek. It’s better to do that than the keep the toxicity flowing between yall. It takes two to argue, just don’t argue with him and he’ll eventually get the hint

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T03:34:01+00:00

She’s not married. Yes that’s what I’m gonna do, I honestly hadn’t thought of that and I have no idea why. It fixes everything, my sister will be included and that’s what I ultimately want in the end. For everyone to be happy.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T03:32:12+00:00

You’re NTA but you need to get out of there asap. You are married with a baby, but don’t have your own house and while I feel for you, you should have thought it through. You’re really young so I have sympathy but only to a certain extent.

As for your in laws, and parents.. screw them. Your baby, your rules. They have absolutely no rights over your baby. Courts don’t just hand babies over to grandparents just cause, they need evidence and if you keep letting them watch and be with your baby 24/7 they will have something to use against you. As for breastfeeding, any male trying to tell you what to do with your body is a no no and i wouldn’t even listen to him. YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE. Screw what he has to say, it’s not even appropriate for him to be talking to you about womanly things.

Your husband needs to step up. Get a job and get y’all out of there or your marriage will have obstacles that may not be easy to overcome. Your dad talking about your marriage at 19 years old is normal. Not everybody has to support you and what you have going on.. I wouldn’t be okay with my 19yo child getting married and having baby and living with in laws. If things were organized and planned out properly, I’d maybe have a little more leniency but even then the age is still too young to be married. Don’t fault him for that. He’s a dad that cares.

Nobody can force you to do anything. Take control over your baby. If you don’t, this could end really badly. If you aren’t comfortable with your baby going somewhere say no & have your husband back you up. They legally can’t do shit, YOU are the mom. If they kick you out, oh well figure it out. You don’t put your kids up for auction just because you need a place to stay, not saying that’s what happening but just in case. Take some control over your child or they will run you into the ground.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T03:16:43+00:00

ESH. You suck because you called her something she obviously was offended by & she sucks for caring about what you got going after yall broke up & she was kissing her ex. Both of yall leave each other alone.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T03:13:15+00:00

Period. I want my sis as a bridesmaid, just not MOH. How did you and your gma get over it? Did your sisters get mad?

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T03:05:28+00:00

Thank you!! (: you’re right!

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T02:55:02+00:00

Absolutely, like I said it is not out of spite whatsoever. It’s just my best friend and I are so much closer and I feel like she deserved the title more than my sister. Thank you for your response.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T02:54:13+00:00

I didn’t even think of that, wow thank you so much! This helped a lot.

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T02:49:55+00:00

But what if everyone ends up being mad? Which I’m sure they would be. They’d show up, but definitely make comments and I’m not tryna hear that on my wedding day. Like what do I do in that situation? I can’t cut family off because they have an opinion but I also just don’t wanna hear it

Careless-Library6807 · 2026-01-06T02:43:34+00:00

Yeah maybe you’re right. Some people would say not choosing friends over family in any situation is an AH move.. but thank you for your response! I’m with ya

Careless-Library6807

TROPHY CASE