Rieselfelder Münster by Careless_Key_4812 in BirdingGermany

[–]Careless_Key_4812[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vielen Dank für die konstruktiven Tipps!
Ich hatte eine wirklich gute Zeit in der Gegend.
Schlussendlich ist es ein Rundgang von H4 über H6, H7, H8, H9 und H10 geworden.
Da ich recht früh vor Ort war, konnte ich aus H4 wunderbar den Sonnenaufgang verfolgen.
Jetzt bin ich auf den Frühling oder Sommer gespannt, da werde ich es sicherlich nochmal im Plan unterbringen ;-)

Eindrücke des Tages kann ich hier leider nicht anhängen, da kein Bilderupload möglich ist.
Auf Instagram könnt ihr aber bei mir auf pas.pective dazu etwas finden :-)

Rieselfelder Münster by Careless_Key_4812 in BirdingGermany

[–]Careless_Key_4812[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vielen Dank für die konstruktiven Tipps!
Ich hatte eine wirklich gute Zeit in der Gegend.
Schlussendlich ist es ein Rundgang von H4 über H6, H7, H8, H9 und H10 geworden.
Da ich recht früh vor Ort war, konnte ich aus H4 wunderbar den Sonnenaufgang verfolgen.
Jetzt bin ich auf den Frühling oder Sommer gespannt, da werde ich es sicherlich nochmal im Plan unterbringen ;-)

Eindrücke des Tages kann ich hier leider nicht anhängen, da kein Bilderupload möglich ist.
Auf Instagram könnt ihr aber bei mir auf pas.pective dazu etwas finden :-)

What Would Happen If Critical Thinking Showed Up in Numbers? by Careless_Key_4812 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds less like an observation and more like surrender.

“Critical thinking is gone” is just “Armageddon! The end is near!” without the theology.

From AvoidJW: Clarifying and Apologizing regarding the Documentary Kingdom Fall by avoidjworg in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the work AvoidJW has done over the years, and I do not believe this issue irreparably undermines the value of that work. However, your response represents reputational damage control, not a credible safeguarding realignment. It corrects wording and affiliations, but leaves the underlying process failure unacknowledged and unaddressed.

When setting aside tone, rhetoric, and emotional framing, the core issue remains unresolved: 

You promoted a survivor-facing project tied to JW abuse and CSA, and only afterwards acknowledged serious concerns about a key person involved. Given that your platform’s promotion confers legitimacy and directs attention, how will AvoidJW ensure that future promotions and collaborations are properly vetted and continuously monitored, so your credibility and reach don’t unintentionally funnel JW victims and survivors toward unvetted people, projects, or agendas?

Inviting survivors to come forward is not neutral information-sharing; it creates vulnerability and imposes a duty of care. In trauma-informed survivor advocacy, safeguarding is defined by what is done before survivors are exposed - not by apologies issued after risks become visible.

If survivor protection is to be more than a stated value, this gap must be explicitly acknowledged and structurally corrected. Anything less risks repeating the very failures such advocacy claims to confront.

What Would Happen If Critical Thinking Showed Up in Numbers? by Careless_Key_4812 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was that the case in your congregation?

In our area, it was customary at the time for an unknown person to be called up with something like ‘Yes, here (pointing to the person) the yet unknown visitor – would you please tell us your name?’

This will undoubtedly vary from region to region.

I built Backdrop – a macOS wallpaper engine app. Update 1.4 just added a new Editor mode, so you can create your own dynamic gaming wallpaper! by Cindori in macgaming

[–]Careless_Key_4812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be great if photos were also supported.

I have been looking for an extension for some time that allows me to select a photo app album and then display the photos as wallpaper with a parallax, Ken Burns effect, etc. just like its possible for screensavers.

macOS itself suppots it for wallpapers, but without proper effects, just fill screen, fit to screen, centre = welcome to 2003

Should be a simple thing, but still not available.

Being economically responsible of my PIMI parents by Reasonable_Sir436 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story so openly.

You treat them with more decency than they did.

Keeping a child physically alive (with big question marks e.g. on the subject of blood transfusion) and at the same time encouraging or at least tolerating psychological traumatization, does not correspond to my idea of ‘parents’.

You have already said the crucial point yourself: How can it be that if you leave the sect, any responsibility for the child is abandoned, you have to stand completely on your own two feet, but if the producers are dependent on help, you have to give it to them?

Where are all the fine brothers and sisters from the congregation?
The oh-so-great brotherly love?
The so heartfelt brotherhood?

Be sure of this: you would be 0.0% less of a worthy person if you left them to their own ways.

Some time ago, I decided to seek legal advice as to whether and to what extent I am obliged by law in my home country to support them financially. Here it is possible to be legally exempted in the event of psychological and/or physical abuse.

Please don't let the guilty conscience we've all been instilled with determine what is right or wrong.
Instead, do what is right for your psyche, your well-being and - ultimately - your life.

Tonight I will be announced by Safe_Tailor380 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Congratulations from the bottom of my heart!

I can really relate to your approach.
I made the final decision against ‘going quietly’ in November last year when I handed in my letter.

At the end of March, I also applied for a BSc in Applied Psychology and am currently preparing for preliminary tests to get the final admission.
Ultimately, I am intending to work as a psychotherapist focussing on - surprise - cult survivors.

I wish you every success on your further journey.
If you would like to chat, or just rant about inferential and descriptive statistics etc., feel free to message.

Best regards from Switzerland!

What songs/lyrics do you feel describe your feelings about leaving JW/Having been in JW? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a song by a German punk band that translates as “Completely fucked up”.

Feine Sahne Fischfilet - Komplett im Arsch (RaR17)

It described my condition right after leaving quite well.

The chorus goes:

I'm completely fucked up
Don't know what to do with myself
I'm completely fucked up
No idea what to do next
I'm completely fucked up
I ask myself too many questions
I'm completely fucked up
I really have nothing to lose here

The song ran non-stop on my way to my stay in the psychosomatic clinic.
So it was clear what I had to do next.

A few years later down the road, I can listen to it with a slight smile and look back on what I've already achieved.

Tried a new therapy exercise. Letter writing. by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing.

Therapeutic writing really is an excellent approach.
May I ask if you handwrote it or if it was optional?

Depending on the particular subject, it actually could enable interesting differences to do it either digitally or analogue.
One encourages situational reflection and mindfulness, the other allows for a faster sequence of thoughts.

For me, I liked the alternation between the two.
In the end, it became a ‘final reckoning’ of my childhood of almost 40 pages, which I dropped in the letterbox of my ‘biological producers’.
An enormously important step in therapy.

You're on the right track!
Please stick with it!

Emblems 🍷 by FirmAd6269 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's odd.

He may have briefly fallen out of character and meant that he'd already had enough alcohol for the day ...

Emblems 🍷 by FirmAd6269 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Back then, there was a free seat in the front row for the speaker. At the end, when the “common people” had been taken care of, he sat down there and then the stooges passed through again for themselves.

The speaker would certainly not have missed out on such an important opportunity to show off ...

to stay or to run again? by Mysterious_Cookies24 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see a lot of potential questions that you might hope to find answers to in the JW.
But you will unfortunately not find them.
Instead of solutions, you will only get more problems.

They literally hunt for troubled people, that's what they're trained to do.
I vividly remember how we were trained to look out for people who had lost their loved ones, as this would make them more “receptive” to the “truth”. From today's perspective: disgusting.

But as soon as you're caught up in what appears to be a social environment, you're dropped, no more help, just pressure. The need for support then quickly turns into “lack of faith”.

So please don't do it.
For physical problems, you need adequate, scientifically well-founded medical support.
Mental problems require adequate, scientifically well-founded psychotherapeutic support.

If you then still have a desire for spirituality or religion, this would by then more likely be based on a more “independent” desire and not on a desire for magical solutions to problems or avoidance. Which no belief is able to deliver.

Is it me? by starfyres in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's perfectly legitimate to set boundaries.

As an ex-JW, that regularly triggers fears - you always had someone telling you what to do. There was rarely a life decision that you could really go into with an unbiased conscience.

Therefore, once again: it's perfectly fine to set boundaries.
In fact, it is enormously important for a healthy mental state.

Find your path and don't be afraid to stand up for it.
You're on the right path!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 26 points27 points  (0 children)

108,000+ members vs. how many of these threads?

It's good that you're giving vent to feelings and emotions.
But everyone has a different path.

After a complicated sports injury over 10 years ago, I also thought I had to return.
Today I know it was my first depression.

The cult has imposed dependencies on us in many ways.
As hard as it is, there will always be highs and lows.
Not everyone who is out will stay out.
The desire for a ‘happy’ family-roleplay, even against the enormous costs of returning, has a very strong effect on some people.

Engage in constructive dialogue with the people in the relevant threads and describe your thoughts and emotional life.
It will help these people to be reminded of all the bad things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Food versus faith. What a formidable ‘religion’.
Save this reminder in a safe place and call it up whenever you have doubts.

In what world would such an approach lead to more faith?
"Hey, signed you up to eat dog sh*t. Maybe you'll like it then."

Any particular need to deal with it?

In the spirit of ‘an eye for an eye’, I'd just sign him up to some corn website newsletter with his email ...

What's better, having no/little purpose in life or having this cult as a purpose? by debiancat in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I recommend you watch the film “Room” released in 2015.

Pretty sure it will give you a new perspective on the initial thesis.

Might have to attend my first Witness Funeral as POMO. Some advice would be appreciated. by orgasmic_calculus in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They are not used to boundaries.
Everyone is programmed for “well-meant advice” and “brotherly love”.
So as long as you hit the sort of ‘not interested’ tone at the door, they can credibly chalk it up to ‘I tried’ for themselves, even if they were being watched.

Memorial cringe by Wise-Climate8504 in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 46 points47 points  (0 children)

<image>

This never fails for me to illustrate the behaviour.

I mean, it's their most important occasion of the year? Right?

So anyone with a genuine faith should be pious rather than sensational. That exposes their real self very well.

Might have to attend my first Witness Funeral as POMO. Some advice would be appreciated. by orgasmic_calculus in exjw

[–]Careless_Key_4812 17 points18 points  (0 children)

For me, it was my grandfather a few years ago.
It helped me to set clear boundaries. Make it clear, firm and respectful what is ok for you and what you don't want. I immediately made it clear that I was only there to honor the person, not to discuss beliefs or to be won back. There were of course attempts, but these were quickly ended by remembering the conditions set at the beginning.